


Anything Her Heart Desires

by Olofa



Series: Her Heart [1]
Category: Frozen (2013)
Genre: AHHD, Angst, Complete, F/F, F/M, Heartache, No Guarantees - Freeform, Problematic Elsanna, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-26
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-02-27 02:35:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 45,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2675738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Olofa/pseuds/Olofa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On a hot summer night, on a balcony under the stars, Elsa and Anna share a tender moment. Elsa crosses a line, and Anna takes it badly. Will they heal, or make things worse? Without her sister's love, can Elsa control her powers?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Iceflowers

_Elsa can't sleep either,_ thought Anna as she watched the iceflowers in the night sky. _Good night for it._

Now and then some people, bored or idle, doodle with pencil and paper. Elsa doodled with magic and the night sky, making displays like fireworks that were the opposite of fire. She shot lacy spirals into the air, or hexagonal bursts of crystal, or whatever took her whim. The people called them “iceflowers” and thought the show was for them.

It _was_ a good night for it. The full moon hung bright in the clear night air, adding its light to the shifting glow of Elsa's magic. The flakes and crystals vanished rapidly in the midsummer heat. Looking up at the blank slate of the sky, Elsa lay on a wide chaise longue on a balcony high on the castle. She traced lazy circles with her finger, drawing crystal ferns in the air above her. She admired them for a moment, then let them fall, her gentle breeze guiding the flakes to fall on her skin, and on the light nightgown of icefabric she had conjured for herself. She heard a shuffling behind her.

“Too hot to sleep?” asked Anna.

“No, just thinking.”

“Remembering?”

“A little.” It was the first anniversary of Elsa's coronation, and therefore the first anniversary of the Great Freeze and the Great Thaw. “Sit next to me.”

“As you wish, Your Majesty.” Anna made a comically large curtsey and flopped on the chaise next to Elsa. It was snug, but neither of them minded. Elsa saw that Anna, in lieu of nightclothes, was wearing a full-length silk slip. The teal colour complemented Anna's colouring and Elsa's icefabric. “Well, maybe it's not a problem for you, but I was sweltering. Do you know what I did?”

“You came up here to get showered with snowflakes?” Elsa flicked her fingers and Anna was dusted with snow.

“Whoo! Stop that! Actually that was kind of nice. But warn me next time. No, I brought Olaf into my bedroom.”

Elsa shifted onto one elbow so she could look at Anna. “Really.”

“I figured with that personal flurry of his, he could cool down my room and I could sleep.”

“And it didn't work.”

“Oh, the room was comfortable. Worked like a charm. But he would not shut up! And he doesn't sleep. I told him he needed to be quiet until I was asleep so sure enough, just as I'm drifting off, 'Aunt Princess, are you asleep yet? Because I wouldn't want to wake you up if you were. Anyway, I have a question about grapefruit.'”

“Grapefruit?” Elsa chuckled. “And what was his question?”

“Who knows? I told him to go talk to Sven, locked the door behind him, sweltered for half an hour, then saw the iceflowers and came up to see you.” Elsa lay back and looked up again. “Don't let me stop you. Keep going.”

“This?” Elsa shot a burst of ice into the air, popped it into a six-pointed star, and watched the particles drift away. “It's nothing. It's just something I do when I'm thinking.”

“That doesn't matter. It's beautiful, Elsa.”

“ _You're_ beautiful.”

“You're beautifuller.”

“You're beautifullest.” They giggled.

“So what were you thinking about? Import quotas on processed versus non-processed herring?”

“No, I was — how did you know about that?”

“That's why you were called away from breakfast this morning. It's okay. I ate your æbelskiver. They're only good when they're warm. So what were you thinking?”

“Something one of the servants said today. They didn't know I was listening in. When you're not around, it's the only way I can hear normal conversation.”

“Oh.” Anna hadn't known.

“Anyway, they were putting away one of my gowns, and stopped to admire them.”

“That would've been Ingrid and Lissi. Probably Lissi. She's the one who's crazy for dresses.”

Elsa smiled to herself. Anna may not know about herring quotas, but she knew — really knew — everyone in the castle, around the castle, and in a five block radius. Elsa couldn't have picked Ingrid or Lissi out of a crowded room. _In her way, Anna_ _would_ _be a much better queen than I._ “So one of them, probably Lissi if you say so, said 'She has the most gorgeous things. Between her crown and her Gift, she could have anything her heart desires.' ”

“Then what?”

“No, that was it.” Elsa sent another streamer of crystals into the air. “But that phrase stayed with me. 'Anything her heart desires.' And I've been thinking about what that means.”

Anna put Elsa's arm around her and nestled her head in the hollow of Elsa's shoulder. “Anna, did you want me to tell you a story?”

“What do you mean?”

“This is the way we used to lay in bed when we were little girls and you wanted me to tell you a story. You never could get settled unless I did. You'd put your head right there, and then I'd tell you whatever story we had read that day. And you didn't care that we'd read it, you just wanted to hear it over again.”

“I just wanted to hear you tell it.”

“I remember one time, it was a story about a knight rescuing a damsel. You had been going on and on about how romantic it was, but you were just as excited about the battle with the fierce dragon.”

“I remember. Make the noise.”

“We're not children anymore. I'd feel silly.”

“I bet you just can't do it anymore.”

“Rrrawerrr!”

Elsa chuckled as Anna snuggled closer. “Better than ever, Elsa. I apologize for doubting you.”

“Well, I asked you what you'd rather do, slay the dragon or meet the prince. And you said, 'I'm gonna be a hero, and then I'm gonna marry a hero, and no one can stop me.' And you were so determined that I believed you completely.” Elsa felt Anna's hair soft against her face. “In fact, you're halfway there.”

“How's that?” said Anna, yawning a little.

“You are a hero. You saved me, and Arendelle, and yourself. You're my hero.”

“Well you're my hero. All the queen stuff you do. I could never do that.”

“Queen stuff?”

“Diplomacy, and policy, and all those important things with documents. Queen business. I couldn't be a queen like you.”

“You could be a queen like yourself. Funny, I was just thinking that in some ways you could do it better.”

“Are you teasing me, Your Righteous Majesty Queen Elsa?”

“No. All those 'important things with documents'? You could have advisors and Councillors for that. But you have so much love for people, for everybody. They already call you 'the people's princess'. You could be the people's queen, and they'd love you even more than they do now.”

“They love you too, you know.”

Elsa sighed. “They admire me. They respect me. They're proud of me, and grateful, and some of them may even like me. And I care about my people, I do. Deeply. But you're the only one who can love me, and you're the only one I can ever love.”

“Elsa! Don't say that.”

“Look at us.” Elsa reached over, took Anna's hand, and held them up together. In the moonlight, her arm next to Anna's, the faint blue tint to Elsa's skin was more visible than ever. “You're full of life. You overflow with it. That's one of the things people love about you, that I love about you. But I look like I'm half-dead. I'm my own ghost, Anna, haunting my own life. Besides you, who could love that?”

“It's only a trick of the moonlight. You are beautiful like sun sparkling on the fjord, like snow on the mountaintop. Like the moon. You are beautifuller than anybody.”

Elsa turned her head and kissed Anna's hair. “Oh, Anna, you're so sweet. I love you. But even if it's true, no one snuggles with a mountaintop, or brings a fjord into their home, or kisses the moon.” Her nose still in Anna's hair, Elsa gently inhaled. It smelled of clean sweat, and spices, and Anna. “You are beautiful like fresh flowers, or red wine in a crystal glass, or a cat sleeping in a sunbeam. Things people love to smell or taste or caress. That's what makes you beautifullest of all.”

“Are you writing me poetry?” teased Anna.

“I'll show you writing.” Elsa gestured carefully, and her magic wrote her name in cursive across the sky. When it faded she wrote Anna's name. Then she wrote “E + A”, and surrounded it with a Valentine heart.

Anna sighed. “You're so sweet. You're the best sister ever.”

The crystals suddenly dropped from the sky.

“You were thinking about what that servant said.”

Elsa's mind traced back to retrieve that part of the conversation. The way Anna's mind worked, the things she retained, were a constant surprise. “Yes. 'Anything her heart desires.' ”

“Why?”

“What does my heart desire? That girl — Lissi? — envied my gowns. If she took them all away I wouldn't miss them. What do I need dozens of dresses for? I could only wear one at a time.”

“You can get up to seven, if you plan it right.”

“Anna, how do you know this?”

“I got bored when you were… I got bored sometimes.”

“Anyway, why would I want one more gown? And if I wanted to I could have twenty meals a day, but I only have one mouth. I can only eat off one plate at a time.”

“Did you know we have eight thousand salad plates?”

“We do not. We have four hundred and ten. But still, more than we could ever need. Anything my heart desires? Why would I want another bed, or carriage, or more jewellery? We have a storeroom full of gifts from ambassadors and dignitaries. Beautiful, precious gifts that we never look at and never use, and can't get rid of for fear of offending them.”

“Offending the ambassadors, right? Not the gifts.” Anna's voice was becoming blurry. The late hour was catching up with her.

Elsa retrieved her arm and set Anna's head down on the chaise's cushion. She raised herself on her elbow again so she could watch Anna close her eyes and sink halfway into sleep. Elsa's voice grew softer and deeper. “There's only one thing in the world my heart desires, Anna. And that's you.” Anna smiled contentedly. “I love you more than anything.”

Elsa made a gentle gesture and a cool breeze brushed across Anna. “That feels nice,” said Anna.

A second breeze made Anna's nipples stiffen through her silk slip, goosebumps rising on her arms in imitation. _I could slip the straps off her shoulders, slide down her slip, and take her_ _breast_ _in my mouth,_ thought Elsa. _As easily as that._ She didn't do it. She savoured the idea as much as she wanted to gently savour Anna's nipple between her lips. As fast as thought, Elsa's nightdress turned into snowflakes and drifted away. She cuddled close to her sister, her thigh crossing Anna's hips, her hand resting just beneath Anna's breasts, her own pressing against Anna's arm. “Do you love me, Anna?”

“I love you with all my heart.”

“Will you stay with me, no matter what happens?”

“No matter what.”

“Will you never leave me?”

“Never ever.”

“I love you, Anna. I love you with all my heart.” She placed feather-light kisses on Anna's forehead, then her chin, her cheek, the tip of her nose, and then on her lips. Anna murmured contentedly. Elsa kissed Anna again, with gentle but insistent passion, the tip of her tongue slipping delicately between Anna's lips.

“Mph?!” Anna's eyes sprang open, her body jolted, and she scrambled off the chaise and away from Elsa. She spat, and wiped her mouth against her arm. “What the hell were you — ” She saw Elsa, now standing on the other side of the chaise, looking meek. “You're naked! Stop being naked!”

Elsa smiled apologetically. “Anna, we've seen each other naked before.”

Anna put her palms over her eyes and turned away. “That was normal naked! This is kissing naked! Kissing naked is totally different! Cut it out!” She waited for half a second. “Are you still…” Still facing away, she waved a hand at Elsa's body. “…like that?”

“It's all right, Anna. I'm decent now.” There was a rueful chuckle in Elsa's voice.

_Does she think I'm being silly? Does she honestly think I'm the one acting weird?_ She turned back, and saw that Elsa had conjured a cape and wrapped herself in it. She was sharply aware that Elsa was holding it closed, and could open it in a fraction of a second, but she couldn't face saying another word about what Elsa was wearing. “ What was that? Are you crazy? What did you do that for?”

“I love you, Anna.”

“Not like that!”

“I love you, and I want to be close to you in every way I can.”

Anna's eyes were squeezed shut, her fists clenched. “Not! Like! That! What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking that you're sweet, and beautiful, and I adore you. You're the beautifullest — ”

“Don't _ever_ say that word to me again! Ever!”  Anna saw the pain in Elsa's eyes, and the guilt she felt just made her more angry. _How dare she put me in this position!_

“Anna, please, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. Anna, please…” Elsa came slowly around the chaise towards Anna, her feet sliding across the balcony. 

Anna backed away, terrified. “Stay away.”

Elsa stopped dead. “I'm so sorry, Anna. I'm so sorry.”

The shock and anger swirling through Anna's heart were joined by despair. All the tenderness she had shared with her sister now felt like a trick.  The connection she had longed for, that had filled her life for the last year, lay in broken shards around her. Everything was ruined. “What is wrong with you?  _What is wrong with you?_ ”

“I… I don't know, Anna. I'm sorry.” It came to Elsa: _This is what it must have felt like when I blasted her heart with ice._

“Sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Stop saying sorry. Stop saying anything. Don't talk to me. Don't come near me. Don't look at me. Don't do anything. You've spoiled everything.”

“Anna, I'm — ”

“Sorry. Yes. I know. _Good_.” Anna turned away and dashed back to her room.

Elsa stood and watched her go. She kept staring, but not at what was in front of her.  She had hardly ever seen Anna upset, and now she had seen her red-faced with fury and pain. Elsa was drained. She didn't have the will to move, or even to wipe the tears that flowed down her face.  Her cape dropped away, forgotten.

Feeling too heavy to stand, she lay down on the chaise again and looked up.  _I flew too close to the sun. I wonder if it was really hubris that brought down Icarus, or if he simply couldn't help himself, even if it destroyed him._ She felt as blank and empty as the night sky.  She despised herself.

* * *

Next morning the town was abuzz with reports of the iceflowers. Those who hadn't been lucky enough to see them flocked to those who had.

The reports were that the show had gone as most of them had, with pops and curlicues glittering over the castle, and even handwriting. Then it stopped, long enough for people to suspect the display was over. But this must have been showmanship. Suddenly great blasts of ice and snow shot into the air. Snowflake crystals grew spiky and huge, filling the sky and bursting in a glittering cascade. It was colossal and violent, almost frightening. Anyone who didn't know how serene Elsa was would think that she was raising a magic artillery barrage, blasting an unknown terror in the sky. And it went on and on, jagged icy explosions filling the arch of heaven, for far longer than anyone remembered seeing before.

Everyone outside the castle agreed it must have been a special celebration for the Coronation's anniversary, an expression of Queen Elsa's gratitude and joy.


	2. Two Doors

Breakfast with Anna was Elsa's chance to make things right. Part of her wanted to hide under the covers and never leave her bed, or even run away to the North Mountain and rebuild her Ice Palace. But despite the fear and dread, she knew she could not lose this chance to reconnect, to get her sister back on any terms.

She instructed the staff to prepare every kind of cake, candy, and pastry that Anna liked. She spent over half an hour going through her clothes, looking for an outfit that was pretty but in no way seductive. She settled on a high-necked dress in green velvet. Far too warm for the season, but she could manage. Likewise her hair was tightly bound, her makeup was modest, even her signature eyeshadow was barely visible. If she could make Anna feel safe, if she could persuade Anna to tolerate being with her, maybe they could erase last night and come back together as they were before.

She looked at herself in the mirror one last time. _Look at me,_ she thought. _I can lay waste to cities. I can shake the earth and sky. And I'm terrified of my little sister._ She steadied herself on the mirror's frame, leaving a handprint of frost. _Of course I am._ _The earth and sky don't mean as much to me_ _._

That summer, Elsa and Anna took breakfast in The Studio, a cozy room with an enormous north-facing window giving plenty of light. It was one of the cheeriest rooms in the castle, under normal circumstances. Elsa took a deep breath, held her head high, forced a smile, and opened the door.

Her smile became real and her heart filled with hope when she saw Anna standing at her chair. She was delighted to see that Anna had taken a special effort as well. Anna's hair, clothes, and posture were flawless. Elsa had never seen her look like this voluntarily, this early in the day. “Anna! You are — ” _don't say '_ _the_ _beautifullest'_ “ — lovely today.”

Anna executed a precise and modest curtsey. “Thank you, Your Majesty. You're looking well.”

If Anna seemed stiff and formal, that was only natural. She must still have been nervous. “Why aren't you sitting down? You didn't have to wait for me.”

With a bland smile and a serious expression, Anna calmly replied, “When one is dining with the Queen, one does not sit until she is seated, nor begin eating until she has begun.”

Elsa began to worry. She took her chair, waited for Anna to sit, and said, “Who are you, and what have you done with the real Princess Anna?” It was a pathetic joke, but it should've raised at least a courtesy smile.

“I regret to say, Your Majesty, that I don't know what you mean.”

Elsa's heart sank into her stomach. This wasn't nervousness, or withdrawal. This was a deliberate affront. Anna was trying to hurt her. And succeeding.

Elsa asked for her usual breakfast and waited to see what Anna would choose. Upset as she was, Anna must have seen the effort Elsa had made to provide Anna's favourite treats. Anna surveyed the spread of sweet pastel-coloured desserts. Without addressing the servant by name or making eye contact with him, Anna said, “I'll have a hard-boiled egg, two slices of buttered toast, and a sausage. And a cup of black tea, pl—.” She had nearly said “please”.

With her head down, Elsa ate, but her food was cold by the time it reached her mouth. She picked up the cream but it froze solid before she could pour it into her cup.

The silence magnified every tap and clatter of cutlery, every sip of tea. Elsa was sure she could even hear the slow, deliberate crunching as Anna chewed her toast. Anna should've been chattering by now, about something Olaf had said, or Kristoff had done, or about the ducks in the park, or the people in the market, or practically anything.

No, Anna should've been yelling, or crying, or pleading with Elsa to explain what had happened. Anything but that polite silence. “Anna. Please, talk to me. Say something.”

“The weather's been uncomfortably warm lately, Your Majesty.”

“Weather? Really? Polite small talk?”

“I don't know what Your Majesty means.”

“Anna, this isn't like you. This isn't how you behave.”

Her polite face began to slip. “It turns out one never knows what someone is really like. Isn't that true, Your Majesty? One thinks one knows how a person will behave, and then everything is turned upside down.”

“Anna, please.”

“And then you try to bribe me with pastries and marzipan? Do you think I'm a child?”

“No, Anna, I know you're a woman.” Anna's jaw dropped as Elsa scrambled to recover. “I mean a grown woman, an adult, like me.”

“Like _you?_ ”

“Please. Don't be like this.”

“And what should I be like? There are supposed to be rules. There are things you do and don't do with your queen, and things you do and don't do with your sister. Well, the 'sister' rules are out the window, so the 'queen' rules are all I have left.” Her anger had a trace of panic. “What else can I do?”

“It doesn't have to be this way. Can't we go back?”

“To before last night? What you did? How can you undo that?”

“I don't know. But we can talk about it.” Elsa turned to the two servants. “We need some privacy.”

“No, let them stay. Why shouldn't they listen in on us? After all, you listen in on them.” Elsa gasped. Anna spoke mock-casually. “It's true, you know. She listens to your conversations. It's because she's sad and lonely.”

“Anna! Stop right now.”

“I thought you wanted me to talk! About last night. About what you — ”

“Shut up!”

“You can't tell me what to do, 'Your Majesty'!”

Elsa stood, and leaned across the table at Anna. “Yes, _we_ can.”

Anna's face went pale as surprise stopped her in her tracks. Elsa had never used the royal “we” with her. Not in anger, not as a joke, not ever. She watched frost creep across the table towards her. It made the teapot shatter, a wave of steaming tea spreading across the tablecloth before it froze in place.

Anna had never believed the reports of what had happened last year in the Ice Castle. About how Elsa had almost driven one soldier over a balcony to his death, or nearly impaled another with spears of ice. She knew Elsa had defended herself, but she couldn't imagine her sister as a real danger to anyone. Let alone her. She stood slowly and backed away. “I'm sorry. I'd like to leave now.” She fled the room, not stopping to close the door.

Elsa straightened up and turned away from the icy wreckage of the table. This was a disaster. She had meant to draw Anna closer, not threaten her. _That's the second time in as many days_ _I've driven_ _her away._ She walked to the doorway. She thought of turning right and following Anna, or turning left and retreating to her rooms. _What's the use? I'll just make things even worse._ Still, she had to try. “Clean that up,” she said, waving vaguely at the table, and went to the right.

* * *

Elsa knocked on the door. “Anna, I'm sorry. Please let me in.”

“Please leave me alone.”

“I just want to talk.”

“No. Not now. Maybe not ever.”

“Let me in. I swear, I won't do anything.”

“I'm begging you, go away.”

“It wasn't supposed to happen like this. I didn't mean to lose my temper. I didn't mean to scare you.”

“Did you mean to kiss me like that? Did you mean it?”

Horrified, Elsa looked from side to side, but it didn't look like anyone else had heard. “I'm sorry, Anna. I never should have done it.”

“You didn't say 'no'.”

“I'm sorry! It'll never happen again.”

“You didn't say 'no'.”

Elsa sagged against the doorframe. She wanted to lie, but she couldn't. “Yes. It was a mistake, a horrible mistake that I will regret forever and never repeat, but yes, I meant to. I felt…a powerful love for you, for every part of you, that I couldn't ignore. It was so powerful that it made me think — it made me hope that you felt it too. That it was possible.”

“Why? Why did you have to feel that way about me?”

“I can't help what I feel, Anna. I didn't wake up one morning and decide to fall in love with my sister. All I can say is that when I see you, or hear your voice, or think about you, I can't imagine not being in love with you.”

“But what you did — ”

“ — was one thing. A moment, an instant, that never happened before and will never happen again. Does that really cancel out our entire lives together?”

“How can I be around you now? What can I do?”

“Anna, I love you. As a sister and a friend, I love you. I can't lose you.”

“Is that all? 'A sister and a friend'? You don't feel anything else now?”

Elsa collected her thoughts. “You don't have to worry about anything else.”

“That's not an answer.”

“You can forget it ever happened.”

“No I can't!”

“Anna, do you still love me? As a sister? As a friend?”

It was Anna's turn to collect her thoughts. Finally, “I don't know. I really don't. I don't know if I can.”

“Anna, please. Let me talk to you. Let me in. You can trust me.”

“How can I trust you when I don't even know who you are?”

“I'm the same Elsa you've always known.”

“The Elsa I knew didn't feel that way about me.”

 _Yes, she did._ Elsa pounded on the door. “Anna, please!” She started to cry. In a strangled voice she continued, “I love you. I need to be with you, the way we used to be. Shutting me out like this is killing me. I can't bear it. I know you hate me, and I know why, but having you reject me like this is crushing me. Waiting outside your door, it's torture.”

“ _Well now you know how it feels!”_ Her anger surprised them both.

Elsa touched the door for a moment, as close as she could get to Anna. Then she turned and ran to her rooms, leaving a spiky trail of ice crystals, sharp as thorns, blooming behind her.

* * *

A circle of frost had penetrated to Anna's side of her door. She touched it and felt the cold sting her finger. _Why do I have to be like this?_ She already missed the Elsa she used to have, and was furious at this new Elsa for taking her away. But she knew they were the same Elsa, and every time she lashed out at one she hurt the other. Now she needed to run to the one person she was running away from.

She dug through a trunk of keepsakes and pulled out a stuffed Elsa doll that she had played with as a child. She sat cross-legged on the floor as she used to do, looked into its cartoon face and stroked its yarn hair. “Why did this have to happen?” she asked it. “And what do I do now?”

* * *

Elsa sat at her desk, staring at a diplomatic report. She had started reading it at least four times so far, but the sentences vanished from her mind the moment she read them. She gave up trying to read it and just stared at it. A furry frost had built up on the desktop. She willed it away, but it was getting harder and harder to control.

She closed her eyes and remembered kissing Anna. If one kiss could cost her the only love in her life, she damn well was going to get as much out of it as she could. She focused on the softness of Anna's lips, the gentle yielding as she slipped the tip of her tongue between them, the texture of Anna's tongue touching hers. She remembered the delicious tingle running from the base of her throat down between her thighs, and in remembering she felt it again. She tried to stop her memory there, to stay in that perfect moment of no resistance, before…

Someone tapped at her door. “Anna?” Elsa ran to the door and yanked it open. No one was there except a skinny servant girl with stringy black hair and a look of complete terror. Elsa looked from side to side, just in case Anna was there. She wasn't.

Elsa looked at the girl again. “What?” she said, more harshly than she intended. The girl stood quivering, hands behind her back, too terrified to speak. “Well, come in.” Elsa sat behind her desk again. She remembered the girl's name from what Anna had said the other night. “You're Ingrid, Lissi's friend, aren't you.”

“We work together, yes, Your Majesty, ma'am.” She curtseyed.

“You have some business here?”

Ingrid struggled with her answer. “I don't know, Your Majesty. That is, no one sent me here, ma'am. Your Majesty.” She curtseyed again to be on the safe side.

Elsa's usual relationship with her servants was polite and pleasant, if mutually awkward. But Elsa was already on edge. “Ingrid, take a deep breath and tell me exactly why you're here.”

Ingrid stopped to think again, desperately trying to avoid saying the wrong thing. “It may have been the case that sometimes Your Majesty may have heard things we have said that we didn't know you heard. If that was the case and we said anything that Your Majesty didn't like, I would like to apologize for myself and for the rest of the staff. Ma'am.”

Elsa translated in her head: “ _Sorry if we said anything stupid while you were listening in._ ” The morning's events were already common knowledge. Could things get worse? “Did the staff put you up to this?”

“No ma'am, Your Majesty. Just on my own, ma'am.” She paused, then bobbed another curtsey.

“Stop that. One curtsey when you enter, one just before you leave. That's it.”

“Yes, Your Majesty, ma'am.”

“Is that all?”

Ingrid gathered up her courage to try to speak, but only managed to shake her head 'no'.

“Go on.” Elsa braced herself for another long pause.

“It may be the case that Your Majesty heard things because Your Majesty was sad and lonely. Ma'am.” Ingrid's hands had been behind her back because she was carrying a hnefatafl board. She thrust it towards Elsa.

Elsa stared at the game box. Ingrid's shaky grip made the pieces rattle. Elsa didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or scream. This junior housemaid had heard Elsa was sad and lonely, and had come to keep her company. Her Righteous Majesty Queen Elsa, Sovereign Ruler of Arendelle and Supreme Mistress of Ice and Snow, was being pitied by a servant girl! Her humiliation was now complete.

“Did someone put you up to _this_ , Ingrid?”

“No, ma'am. All on my own, ma'am. That's why I didn't know if I had business with Your Majesty before, ma'am, because no one sent me. I'm sorry, ma'am.”

This wasn't just humiliation. This was a masterpiece of humiliation. That girl found Elsa so pathetic that she had overcome sheer terror, on her own initiative, in order to pity Elsa in person. In a way, it was heroic.

Elsa gritted her teeth. “We value your concern, but we regret that this is not a good time. There may never be a good time. You may go.”

Ingrid stood paralysed.

“You may go _now_.”

Ingrid dropped her box and ran for the door. She stopped in the doorway, turned and curtseyed to Elsa, and dashed off in a panic.

 _I never should have wondered if things could get worse. They always, always can._ Elsa picked up the game box. It was worn and finger-smudged, and coming apart at the corner. She put it on a bookshelf to keep it safe. Then she went to another shelf. She pulled out a handful of books and took out the stuffed Anna doll she had hidden there.

She blasted the door and froze it shut. She didn't want to be disturbed. Maybe an ice-cold doorknob would be enough of a hint.

She sat behind her desk again, knees up to her chin, brushing doll-Anna's cheek against her own. “Oh, Anna,” she asked the doll, “what next? I'm sure another disaster is looming. I'd just like to know what it is so I can brace myself.” The doll didn't answer, but it smiled and didn't look away, even as tears dropped onto its face.


	3. Support

It had been days since Elsa and Anna had been on friendly terms. Elsa had never been work-shy, but now she threw herself into her work with an intensity that frightened her staff. Some because of what it said about her state of mind, others because they didn't want to provoke her by not being able to keep up.

Instead of working with her Councillors in her outer office, she saw them for a few minutes at a time and then took her papers into her study, where she "wouldn't be disturbed." That is, where she didn't have to fight so hard to keep her powers in check. Her office was as usual, but her study looked like the aftermath of an avalanche, with frost on the furniture and snow piling up in the corners.

She burst out of her study. "What do you have for me, gentlemen?"

The Councillor of State cleared his throat. "And it please Your Majesty, I've spoken to the representatives from Allemand. They're not at all pleased with your stand on the quotas, especially the processed versus — "

"Are we going to pay Allemand for our own fish, just because they put them in jars for us? Tell them we will not reconsider. If they don't like it, that means you're doing your job. Councillor for Justice?"

"And it please — "

"Spit it out."

"Usual caseload, nothing exceptional. Decrees ready for your signature later today, ma'am."

"Not now, then? Why?"

"Well, we have some matters to finalize, a few loose ends to tie up — "

"So the reason you're not done is because you're not done, then?"

_Oh lord, if she only knew._ "In a nutshell, yes, ma'am."

"I'll expect the decrees on this desk in two hours. Leave if you have to." He left. "Councillor of Defense of the Realm?"

"Our borders remain secure. Weselton continues to petition to restore normal relations. Allemand grumbles over your…resolute stand in negotiations, but will do nothing. No other matters of substance, ma'am."

"Then there are other matters, but you don't think they're of substance?"

"Reports from our people in the Southern Isles hint at divisions in the court, but nothing even as substantial as a rumour. We're watching the situation, ma'am."

"Divisions? What sort of divisions?"

"Some discontent over the king's policies, ma'am."

"Policies on what?"

"On us. Ma'am. As I said, the reports are vague and unsubstantiated. Not worth mentioning."

"I'd like to read them."

"I don't have them on me, ma'am."

"Get them."

"All of them?" She raised an eyebrow. "I withdraw the question." The Councillor of Defense of the Realm left to fetch the reports as Queen Elsa went around the table. In a few minutes she had spoken to the rest of her Councillors, then dismissed them as she returned to her study with a couple of inches of documents to review.

She dropped them on her desk with a thump. "Is that all?" she asked the air as she thudded into her chair. She had been trying to distract herself with work, keeping her mind off the Anna-shaped gap in her life. But the more she tried to lose herself in her duties, the more she intimidated her staff into working harder, leaving her with even less to do. She couldn't ask them to be less diligent, could she? She had been on the verge of asking the Councillor of the Exchequer to give her some account books to add up. With a sigh, she began reviewing the reports in front of her.

In just over an hour she was done. She left the papers on the table in her outer office, with notes, annotations, and corrections, and returned to her study. She sat and idly formed and re-formed crystal sculptures in her palm. She remembered the days she had spent in this room with Anna pestering her to come outside, or interrupting her, or bringing her snacks and cups of tea, or simply sitting quietly and reading or sketching or embroidering. Anna didn't need to do anything; it was enough that she was there, being sweet, being happy, being beautiful. Being Anna.

Elsa remembered how Anna would stand behind her and read over her shoulder, leaning against her, unselfconsciously pressing her soft breasts against the back of Elsa's neck, sometimes reaching an arm around and hugging Elsa from behind, close enough that the scent of her could fill Elsa's head like a sip of akvavit evaporating on her tongue. Elsa smiled. If Anna had only known the storm of rapture she stirred in Elsa's heart, she —

Well, she would have run screaming from the room.

Elsa blasted one of the snow-piles in the corner, spraying flakes through the air. Scowling, she conjured a breeze to blow the snow back where it was. Her powers used to frighten her, but right then they just made her annoyed.

Elsa was lonely. She had been lonely before, of course, but the closeness she'd had with Anna made it worse now. This wasn't the dull ache of isolation. This was the sharp sting of feeling the love she'd longed for and having it yanked away again. She had lost her talent for solitude. She needed someone to be present, just to be in the same room with her. The only one she could think of was Olaf, but she had been in too much of a temper to put up with his idiocy. You had to be in the mood for Olaf. She wasn't.

But who else?

* * *

Anna was in the stables "helping" Kristoff brush and take care of Sven. Actually, even though she wasn't doing any of the work, it did help Kristoff to have her there. He still believed that reindeer were better than people by and large, but she was on his slowly growing list of exceptions.

"Kristoff, I miss Elsa so much."

"I still don't understand why you can't just go talk to her."

"I can't explain it. I mean I understand it, but I can't explain it to you."

A year ago he might've assumed she meant "…because you're too stupid," but he knew she didn't think that way. Still, he did want to know what she meant. "Because of me?"

"Oh, no, Kristoff. I can't explain it to anybody. It's because…well, I can't explain that either."

"Is it a sister thing?"

Anna bit her lip. "Not the way you'd think."

"Is it girl trouble?"

"Mmm, also not the way you'd think."

Kristoff nodded to himself. "It's boy trouble." _And about time, too._ "Let me guess. 'Not the way I'd think'?"

"Oh no." Anna chuckled ruefully to herself. "I _wish_ it were boy trouble."

"Then what happened?"

"She…she did something. And I got upset. And I said some things. And _she_ got upset. And she said some things. And then I said some _more_ things, and since then neither of us are saying anything 'cause it just keeps making things worse. What can I do, Kristoff?"

He worked Sven's muzzle like a puppet as he said in a goofy voice, "You're asking him how to deal with people? You might as well ask me about ballroom dancing." That usually got at least a smile from Anna, but not today. In his own voice he continued, "Can you tell me what kind of thing she did? Did she steal from you? Cheat you? Hurt you? Lie to you?"

Anna was almost dizzy, trying to figure out how to say what she couldn't say. "She broke my trust. I trusted her, and now I don't know if I can."

Kristoff squatted down and started checking and cleaning Sven's hooves. "I don't know much about people, but I know about trust. I mean, I know about not trusting people. There's a lot of negotiating in the ice business. And you have to understand that it's only the good people who can betray your trust."

Anna pondered that for a second. "Nope. That makes no sense at all."

"There's two kinds of trust. People you trust to always tell you the truth, and people you trust to do the right thing. The first kind, they're the ones who wouldn't risk lying to you because they know you'll find out and pay them back, and vice versa. The second kind, they're the good people. I mean, compared to the others. They'll cheat you now and then, but not too much. You'll cheat them back, but they'll get over it. But they'll never shaft you, and you'll never shaft them. Those are the ones you can live with, because you don't have to get everything right all the time."

Anna's face lit up. "Oh, you're talking about forgiveness."

Kristoff straightened up and stretched his back. "You sure? Because that doesn't sound like me. But I'll take your word for it."

"You're right. I need to forgive her, and she needs to forgive me, and we can work things out. I know we can. I mean, I hope we can. I mean, I'm still going to have trouble getting past…some stuff. And I said some things that were pretty hurtful."

"You!?"

"Yes. I don't want to be like that. Not with anyone, but least of all with Elsa. And I'm worried about her, Kristoff. Do you think she'll want to talk to me again?"

"I'm sure of it. You know, Elsa and I are the same."

Anna pictured this broad, gruff ice-cutter next to her slender, regal sister. "O-kay."

Kristoff looked at her tenderly. They were rare moments, but they never failed to melt her heart. "Anna, there are things I understand about her. We both need you in the same way."

_Oh my God! He knows!_ Anna put a hand on one of the stable gates so she could feel something solid, and waited for the revelation.

He went on. "We need you to help us be with other people. Elsa and me, people say we put up walls around ourselves. But it's not really a wall, it's a door. I'm no good at opening it myself, but you can open it and take me through. As long as I can share some of what you've got I can talk to people the way you can. And Elsa's the same."

"Her? Are you kidding? Remember that royal dinner I took you to?"

"That you dragged me to?"

She swatted his arm. "With all the ambassadors and stuff? She was talking to people much better than me. Everybody adored her."

Kristoff nodded. "Queen Elsa is great at talking to people — "

"She was gracious, and dignified, and charming, and witty, and totally amazing."

" — at things like that. But your sister Elsa isn't. She needs you. And I bet she misses you too."

Anna stood quietly, taking in everything he had said. "I hope she's okay. But Kristoff? What if we can't work things out? What then? What about her?"

"In that case, if I was her, I'd get a reindeer."

* * *

The quiet knock Elsa expected came to her door. "Come in."

It opened and Ingrid stepped just inside the doorway. "Good afternoon, Your Majesty." She curtseyed.

"All the way in. And leave the door open a little, just in case."

Ingrid stood in front of Elsa's desk and locked her knees to make sure she wouldn't curtsey again. She tried to brush some stray hair off her forehead but it was pasted there with sweat. "You sent for me, Your Majesty, ma'am." To Ingrid's surprise, her hnefatafl board was on Elsa's desk. Was the queen angry at her for leaving it behind and cluttering up her rooms?

"Sit down, Ingrid." She sat, hands folded in her lap. "We have decided to… On consideration of… That is…" Elsa took a deep breath, then let it out. "Ingrid, it is now part of your duties to play hnefatafl with me."

Elsa opened the box and began setting up the board. Ingrid goggled at her, then realized she was staring and looked down. Elsa went on. "There are some things you need to know. First, this is not a promotion, a reward or a punishment. This is simply an addition to your duties. Your job is still…"

"Junior chambermaid, ma'am, Your Majesty."

"Yes, that. So nothing is to change between you and the rest of the staff. They are to treat you the same, and you are to treat them the same. Second, this does not entitle you to any special favours beyond those due to any subject of the crown. This is partly for your own protection, in case anyone starts to pester you about that sort of thing."

"Thank you, Your Majesty, ma'am."

"Third, do not deliberately let me win. Your duties are to play hnefatafl, not to lose at hnefatafl. On the other hand, don't start studying and practicing the game. Play normally, as you would with anyone else. In fact, we won't be keeping score. Simply be yourself."

"Yes ma'am, Your Majesty." Ingrid was baffled. Be herself? On the one hand, how could she be anyone else? On the other, no one ever cared whether she was herself or not, as long as she did her work and didn't get in the way.

"Fourth, nothing that happens here will be repeated outside of this room. By either of us."

"Of course not, Your Majesty."

"Although if anyone asks, you could mention that I haven't been accidentally hearing any conversations anymore." Elsa smiled sadly.

"Thank you, ma'am. Your Majesty."

"One more thing. When you are here on these duties do not call me 'ma'am', 'your majesty', 'queen', or any other formal title except when you arrive and just before you leave, the same as with curtseys. I'm smothered in _'majesty'_ s. Do you understand?"

Ingrid swallowed, nodded.

"Now, black or white?"

Ingrid raised her eyebrows in a question and pointed at herself.

"Yes, you. Go ahead."

Ingrid pointed at the black pieces, and they began.

They played in silence for a while. Elsa had been thinking of the junior chambermaid as almost a child but it struck her that Ingrid, skinny and timid as she was, was nearly Anna's age. Elsa tried putting the girl at ease. "You may speak, if you want to. It's all right." Instead, Ingrid just looked more terrified.

As Ingrid studied the board, Elsa considered her reaction. "You're probably not going to say anything, are you."

Ingrid shook her head, then moved her piece.

"It's because I told you not to call me 'majesty'."

Nod.

"And you can't bring yourself to talk to me unless you do."

Nod.

"Not even if I said it was all right while you're on these duties."

Shook head.

"Hmm." Elsa considered the board, then made her move. "Ingrid, you may talk to yourself, if you like. Some people think out loud while they're playing."

Ingrid cleared her throat experimentally. "I think that would help," she said out loud to herself. "She's very clever."

Elsa smiled, and they continued playing.

After a couple of minutes Ingrid said, "I wonder if she wants me to clean up the chalk dust after the game."

Elsa looked up. "Chalk dust?"

"Oh, of course, she wouldn't know. We call the snow and frost 'chalk dust' downstairs because it's white and powdery. It's a joke. It makes it less scary."

_Scary._ Elsa closed her eyes and placed her hands flat on the desk. The frost slowly faded from the edges of the furniture. A cold gust whirled the snow from the corners of the room and sent it out the window.

Elsa was relieved. It wasn't as bad as it had been.

"Thank you," said Ingrid, and the game resumed.


	4. Diplomacy

Anna sat alone in The Studio, having breakfast. Not really alone, of course; the servants Nils and Helga were there to cater and take away. But Elsa wasn't there, and that was enough.

In the weeks since she and Elsa had fought there, Anna had made a point of returning every morning. At first she was proving that Elsa couldn't scare her away again, but soon enough she was hoping to open the door and see Elsa there, ready to sit at the same table again. She made sure that every morning when Nils asked Elsa about breakfast, he mention that the table was set in The Studio. She made sure that there was always a plate of the smoked eel that Elsa liked, even though Anna couldn't stand them.

Anna stared glumly out the window at the beautiful sunlit scene. She tore apart an æbelskiver, topped the halves with jam, and popped one in her mouth. It wasn't in her nature to do things this way, hinting and hoping. She wanted to march up to Elsa and hash things out. If she could only talk with her…

But that was her plan at the Ice Palace last year, and that didn't turn out so well. And this time was worse. This time, she wasn't so confident that they could work things out.

“Nils? Helga? I'd like some time to myself, please. I need to think.”

Anna missed her sister terribly. She missed being playful with her, the innocent hugs, just being comfortable sitting in Elsa's study while she worked. But now she knew that Elsa wanted her in a more intense way — _Be honest, Anna. She wants to have sex with you._ — could she ever be that comfortable again?

“If only I could talk to her.”

_You'd say something horrible again._

“If I could just see her.”

_You'd know she was looking at you and thinking about sex._

“Not all the time. Right?” She speared the other half of the æbelskiver on her fork. They're only good when they're warm. She ate it anyway. “Like she said, she only did one thing.”

_She put her tongue in your mouth. She was naked and wrapped around you. You were half asleep._

“It doesn't matter. It can't change everything.”

_It changed the way you see her, and think about her, and feel about her._

“No. It doesn't have to be like that. I can talk to her again. We can fix this.”

_How?_

“I don't have to know how. I just know we can.”

_You dropped a very personal secret of hers in front of the staff, and you know how that sort of thing spreads. She'll never want to talk to you again._

“She broke my trust, and I broke hers. And I know that's not right. But if I still want to talk to her after that, maybe she wants to talk to me too. Hey, at least she knows I owe her an apology.”

_Being in the same room, face to face, talking. Can you trust her? Can you trust yourself?_

“There's got to be a way, I know it. Better than waiting for her to come to breakfast.” She looked at Elsa's empty chair. “Okay, what would Elsa do? You want to set up a negotiation with a country. You don't know for sure what they're thinking. They might be hostile. They think you might be hostile. They won't come to you or let you come to them. What do you do?”

She picked up a piece of bacon with her fingers and nibbled at it. Then she looked at it. “I'd better eat with my fingers while I can. Once Elsa's back she's not gonna let me.” She was already starting to feel like her old self. “Negotiations, ambassadors, diplomatic letters…that's it! A letter.” She pushed away her plates and cutlery. She left the table cluttered; it helped her think. She knew Elsa kept pen, ink, and paper in the sideboard in case she needed to make notes at breakfast. She wrote:

> _Dear Elsa._
> 
> _I know I did some hateful, hurtful things, and I am sorry for that. I was hurt and confused, and that made me act angry, and I don't want to be that way._
> 
> _To be honest, I'm still hurt, and very confused. You know why. And I don't know how I'm going to get past that. But I'm not angry anymore._
> 
> _Are you still angry?_
> 
> _You're my sister, and my best friend in the world, and no matter whatever other stuff happens you always will be, and I will always love you, as a sister and a friend. And I don't want to lose that. And I hope you don't want to lose that, too._
> 
> _Okay, this is all kind of thinky._
> 
> _I want us to do stuff together again, even if it's just me sitting in your study and watching you work. I want to take you to the park and show the ducks to you. I want to hug you and cuddle you like I used to, and not worry about it. I want to talk with you and make you laugh and even pester you because you're so cute when you're all huffy._
> 
> _But I'm still scared of you. I'm scared of this different side of you, and it makes me scared of being with you. And I'm scared that you're mad at me because I was kind of a jerk. Okay, completely a jerk. But if I didn't do things I was scared of, well, you and I wouldn't be here._
> 
> _I mean, you're there, but you know what I mean._
> 
> _I'm also worried for you, and I want to know you're okay. Please, I need to know if you can see me again._
> 
> _When you get this note, please let me know what you're thinking. Write back, or send a message, or knock on my door, or anything._
> 
> _I'm sorry._
> 
> _I love you, sis._
> 
> _Anna._

* * *

Elsa sat alone at her desk, picking at the breakfast on her tray. She had gone back to having open-faced sandwiches for breakfast now that she couldn't count on her food staying warm again. A tealight kept her pot of tea hot, or at least liquid.

It didn't matter. Nothing tasted good to her that morning.

That morning, like every morning, the servant who brought her meals mentioned that Anna'd had the table set for breakfast in The Studio. She hoped it was because Anna wanted her to come, but she was pretty sure Anna was letting her know the room was taken and she'd have to make her own arrangements. Again.

Breakfast with Anna used to be the thing that got Elsa out of bed in the morning. Watching Anna go from sleepy to exuberant, opening like a flower in the sun, raised Elsa's spirits enough that she could face the day. She missed the music of Anna's voice as she rambled about anything or nothing. She missed the unembarrassed moans as Anna ate a particularly good strawberry crêpe or raisin-loaded slice of kringle. She even missed pretending not to notice as Anna ate bacon with her fingers.

“It's just as well. She's turned mean and vindictive.”

_You know she's not really like that._

“She betrayed a confidence, just to hurt me.”

_She was frightened and confused. She didn't know what she was doing._

“I've driven her away. I scared her off.”

_She climbed a mountain to get to you. She doesn't stay scared for long._

“She thinks I'm a monster. I am. I'm an unnatural monster.”

_She was shocked and upset. But you know underneath that she'll always love you, no matter what._

“How can I know if she'll even speak to me?”

_You'll never know until you try._

“I need to try. But how can I make contact if I don't know if she'll talk to me, or even face me? If only this were diplomacy, I could send a letter, or a delegation.” She straightened in her seat. “Or an ambassador. That could work. Someone she'll be happy to see, and isn't threatening at all, and will talk to me. Olaf! I could have Olaf bring her a message. A present from me. Something personal.”

Elsa put the dishes and teapot back on their tray and moved it to a side table. She preferred a clear desk to work on. It helped her think.

She closed her eyes and focused on the love she and Anna had shared. The innocent sisterly love. Just that. Easier than she hoped, the feelings came back to her, filling her with calm and confidence.

She slowly built up a sculpture. It was slow work and took concentration, but it was completely worth it. She built up a hexagonal rod, a bit larger than a waterglass, with facets at each end. The tricky part was that as she built up the glass-clear ice she was also creating, inside of it, a rose made of frost. Each petal was a valentine heart that said “E + A”. Two of the petals were dropping away, suspended in mid-fall inside the ice. She had to undo and redo a couple of times to get every element right, but she wanted it to be hard. She wanted to put effort and thought and love into this, and make it beautiful for Anna. When she was satisfied, she engraved along the edges:

> _Water can freeze, and thaw again._
> 
> _A flower can wilt, and grow again._
> 
> _Trust can be broken, and earned again._
> 
> _Love can be lost, and found again._
> 
> _Please forgive me, and let me forgive myself._
> 
> _All my love, all my heart, Elsa._

She rang for a servant and sent her to fetch Olaf. Elsa had no idea how long it would take, Olaf being Olaf, but she was content to wait.

But waiting gave her time to doubt herself. Was it too much? Coming on too strong? Elsa wanted Anna to know how much she loved her, but would it seem too much like seduction? And the hearts with their initials. When she drew it across the sky, Anna loved it and thought it was sweet. But that was the same night Elsa kissed her and crossed the line. Would Anna remember the love, or the transgression?

No. It was beautiful and true. It had to be right.

The maid returned, looking frazzled and exasperated, but with Olaf in tow.

He waddled forward eagerly. “Hi, Queen Mommy! It's me, Olaf.”

“I know, Olaf. I sent for you.”

“Oh. Did I mention anything about warm hugs? 'Cause I think I covered it last time, but I want to be sure.”

“Of course you did. Come here.” She knelt down and gave him a hug. His twig arms hugged her back. She let him go, then removed the arm that was snagged on her braid and handed it back to him. “I have a very special job for you.”

“A royal quest! Anything for you, your regaliciousness.” He bowed, and his head plopped forward. “Little help?” The maid cornered his body as Elsa picked up his head and re-seated it. “Oh yeah, that's better. So, just wanted to say that I would fight demons and slay dragons for you, but if I didn't have to that'd really be super. Not exactly in my wheelhouse. But willing.”

“No, Olaf. This 'quest' is perfect for your…'wheelhouse'.” She handed him the sculpture. “I need you to take this present to Anna, and give it to her, and tell her it's from me. Wait as long as you need to, but make sure you get to see her. And make absolutely sure it doesn't melt. Can you do that?” He had his own flurry. He'd do fine.

“A royal quest to the far end of the castle? For milady I would climb the deepest ocean and swim the highest…no, that's not right. Anyway, nothing will stand in my way.”

“Excellent.”

“Although there are stairs.”

“Olaf.”

“Stairs are tricky.”

“Olaf.”

“But I shall do it. For you, for Anna, and for Arendelle.”

“Very good.”

“But before I go, there's this thing about grapefruit — ”

“No time, Olaf. Scoot!”

“Scoot ho!” He toddled off, holding the frost rose like Excalibur.

Elsa sighed, and smiled after him. He was sweet but excitable, and easily distracted. No wonder he and Anna got along. She turned to the maid. “You may go. No, wait. On second thought, follow Olaf and make sure he gets there without too many detours. But not too close. I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.” She curtseyed and left.

Elsa put the breakfast tray back on her desk. The tealight was still lit and the pot was two-thirds full, so she poured herself a cup. It was piping hot and steaming. Elsa took a sip, and sighed happily. She felt hopeful. It was good to feel hope again.

* * *

Olaf was so proud of himself that he went directly to Anna's rooms, only stopping and talking to people to tell them he didn't have time to stop and talk, he was on a quest. When he reached her door, he shouted down the hallway, “Thanks for following me! I've got it from here.”

He knocked on the door, posed dramatically, and said, “Princess Anna, I bring a message from the Queen!”. He held the pose awkwardly for a couple of minutes. “Okay. Try this again.” He knocked, posed, and announced, “Princess Anna, I bring a message from the Queen.” Once again, he stood motionless.

“I can see this may take a while.” He stood and thought, insofar as such a term applies. “Oh, the shiny thing! I have to make sure it doesn't melt. Maybe if I could stick it in a big bank of snow. Now where's there snow around here?” He looked down the hall in both directions, under the carpet runner, and inside a vase.

“My butt! It's plenty big. Good thing, too. One of my best features.” He prepared to insert the ice sculpture into his lower third. “Nope. Not the front. Don't want to lose a button.” He spun his bottom part so it was back-to-front, and shoved the frost rose into himself. “Ooh, that feels interesting.” He patted himself smooth and turned his bottom right way round. “There. Now back to my noble vigil.” Knock knock. “Princess Anna! I — ”

“Olaf. What is it?” said Anna, who had just come up behind him.

“Can't talk now. Waiting for Princess Anna.” Knock knock. “Ahem. Princess Anna! I bring…” Over his shoulder, he said, “Did you know you're in there?”

“No, I'm not.”

“Really? Are you sure?”

“Trust me, I can tell.”

“Huh. Where'd you go?”

“I went for breakfast, then I wrote a letter, then I came back here.”

“When do you expect yourself to show up?”

“Right…now.”

Astonished, Olaf turned to face her. “There you are! Princess Anna, I bring a message from the Queen.”

Anna's heart jumped. Elsa _did_ want to connect with her. Anna _hadn't_ pushed her away. She was delighted, and also proud of Elsa for making the first move. _She made the first move once before. That's when the trouble started._

No! Elsa was reaching out to her. Celebrate it. “Olaf, what's the message?”

“Right. Where was it? Oh yeah. Something special for you personally, by order of Her Majesty Queen Elsa. It's right back here.” He reached behind himself and started groping his own bottom. “A little trouble getting it out.”

Anna stared in disbelief and disgust. This could not be what it looked like. It must be something else.

Olaf waved a twig-arm for Anna to be patient. “Hang on, I've got this.” He squeezed his eyes shut and bore down with a grunt. A snowy cylinder began to emerge from his —

“No!” Anna turned away, astonished and appalled. She desperately searched for an explanation. “Elsa told you to do this?”

“She was very particular. A very important message specifically for Princess Anna. And I was supposed to wait as long as it takes for you to get it.” He bore down again.

“Stop it, Olaf! Stop it! _Stop it!_ **Stop it!** ” She dashed into her room and slammed the door behind her.

“What the hell was that?” She hadn't really thought that Elsa could be so cruel, but she could never, ever have imagined her being so vulgar. Did she think this was funny? Was she holed up in her study, rocking with laughter at Anna's discomfort, enjoying her stupid bathroom prank?

Is this what Elsa thought of her? Not even worth the dignity of a plain rejection, Elsa had to humiliate her as well. And childishly.

_Not the first time she shocked you with her behaviour._

Anna felt crushed. She felt like she had been hollowed out and filled with ashes. Who was this Elsa that she thought she knew, that she thought she loved and admired? Elsa had always been Anna's model of sophisticated grace, something she could only aspire to. Someone she wanted to grow up to be like. Sending a snowman to defecate at her was mind-bogglingly out of character. It made her feel sick.

Had Elsa gone crazy? Was she, literally, insane? What little life that was left in Anna drained away at the thought. Losing her sister was painful, but losing her to madness would be devastating. An insane ruler would be a disaster. An insane sorceress-queen would be a catastrophe. Anna found herself desperately praying that Elsa was only guilty of viciousness and appallingly bad taste.

Olaf stood faithfully outside Anna's door. He heard someone scream in anguish, “It isn't fair!” Then he heard a rhythmic thumping, as if a bed was being lifted and dropped in a rage, over and over. Then more screams, some smashing noises, wood splintering, and what sounded uncannily like furniture being flung around a room. After that, painful sobbing.

That couldn't actually be happening, of course. He was there to bring a message from the Queen he loved to the Princess he loved, who loved each other. She must have been very, very happy.

Maybe sometimes being very happy sounded like rage and anguish. Well, you learn something new every day. Then you forget it and learn something else.

A sudden, disturbing thought intruded on whatever Olaf used for a brain. Maybe someone else was in there with Anna. “Aunt Princess! Is someone else in there?”

“NO!”

She wanted to make sure he could hear her. How thoughtful! “Are you okay?”

“Fine! Terrific! Never been better in my whole perkele life!”

“Okay, good!” Well, that was a relief. “I'll be right here!”

After about half an hour the door slowly opened. Anna stood in the doorway, red-eyed, dishevelled, and exhausted. “I have a letter for Elsa. Take it to her.”

“Okay, but first I have her message for — ”

“Keep it. Return to sender. Occupant refused delivery. Please, take the letter and go. Please.”

“Okay!” Gripping the envelope firmly in one twig, he proudly waddled off.

* * *

Elsa was in her outer office. She couldn't bear to put an extra door between her and whatever Anna's response would be. She paced up and down. It dawned on her that she wasn't nervous, she was impatient. She was actually looking forward to something. She stretched out her arms and spun on the spot.

There were still twinges of anxiety, of course. Would Anna like it? Was it too much? Was it a little too reminiscent of the…events of Coronation Night? Could Anna see that token of love (sisterly love!) and not be moved towards forgiveness?

She couldn't help herself. She had let her heart refill with love, and now it was spilling everywhere.

She stopped herself, forced herself to take a deep breath. Wait for the response, _then_ celebrate.

Olaf tap-tapped at the door. She forced herself to open it smoothly and with dignity. “Olaf, how good to see you.”

“Message from Aunt Princess, faithfully delivered.” He saluted with the hand holding the envelope and poked himself in the eye. “Ow. Helpful hint: don't do that.”

“Thank you, Olaf. I won't.” She ran to her chair at the meeting table, sat down, and read.

> _Dear Elsa._
> 
> _I know I did some hateful, hurtful things, and I am sorry for that. I was hurt and confused, and that made me act angry, and I don't want to be that way. But that was no excuse for what you did today._
> 
> _To be honest, I'm still hurt, and more confused than ever. Your “message” today was in the worst possible taste. I cannot imagine what you were thinking._
> 
> _Was that something you thought I'd want to see? Do you think I want that image in my head? Did you want to make me nauseous? I can't imagine you thinking it was funny, but I can't imagine that you were serious._
> 
> _Believe it or not, this morning I was ready to reach out to you, to try to reconnect. I missed the Elsa I thought I knew. I had no idea how misguided I was._
> 
> _I was scared of the side of you I hadn't seen before. I was scared that you couldn't forgive me for my behaviour. I was ready to face my fear. What a relief that now I don't have to._
> 
> _I admit I'm very angry at you. But I know that anger doesn't last forever. However, the sadness and pity I feel for you, I can't see an end to those._
> 
> _I was worried for you, and now I have even more reason to worry. I just don't have a reason to care anymore._
> 
> _Maybe things will change for the better. I really hope they will. I even pray they will. Maybe with enough time we can at least be civil and be in the same room together._
> 
> _But I don't see how._
> 
> _With deep regrets,_
> 
> _Anna._

Elsa sat, stricken. Her already-pale face had turned ashen.

Olaf said, “You look sad. I bet you could use a hug!”

“No.”

“C'mon, just a lit— ”

She encased him in ice.

She put her hands flat on the great oak meeting table. The wall of shock holding back her other feelings began to crumble. She felt the wild power course through her. _Direct_ _it, guide it._ _Let it go, but choose where it goes._ The thick planks of the tabletop, the heavy pillars of the legs, grew cold from within. The wood turned pale, then hazy, then encrusted with frost. The cold drew moisture from the air, leaving everything in the room staticky and sparking. The ice penetrated every fibre of the wood, and expanded as it froze. The table groaned, then with a crack that rattled the windows the oak burst apart into a heap of shards, splinters and frost.

Elsa stood, brushed the splinters from her dress, and turned to lock herself in her study. “We're going to need another table,” she muttered.

* * *

Later that afternoon Ingrid was summoned to Elsa's offices. She knocked on the door and waited for Elsa to tell her to come in. Instead, Elsa opened the door for her.

Elsa smiled politely, but her eyes were red from crying, standing out disturbingly from the bluish cast of her skin. She opened her mouth to speak, but only managed a tiny croak before she stopped.

Ingrid understood. Sometimes you can't say a word without falling apart. She curtseyed, and said, “Good afternoon, Your Majesty. If this is a bad time, I can come back later.”

Elsa shook her head, and motioned Ingrid to the study. Ingrid noticed that the meeting table was missing from the outer office. As they entered the inner room Elsa shrugged and gestured to apologize for the mess. There were thick drifts around the sides of the room, even an inch of snow covering the floor. There were piles of broken stone and metal, all blue-white with cold. Ingrid thought she recognized the remains of the big cast-iron pot from the kitchens, and the anvil from the stables.

The large window was opaque with frost. Elsa went to it, concentrated on thawing it enough to loosen, then swung it open to let in the summer's heat and light. The air fogged briefly.

Ingrid sat at the desk where the hnefatafl board was already set up. Regardless of the state of the study, Elsa was scrupulous about keeping the desktop clear. They sat down and played in silence.

Ingrid was quietly amazed. Elsa pored over the gameboard, sometimes acknowledging Ingrid's presence with a friendly look, all without seeming to notice the tears streaming down her cheeks.

Ingrid said, “My mother always told us to carry two handkerchiefs, not one. Even if you had to use one, you'd always have a clean one to offer to someone else if they needed it.” She pulled one out, neatly folded and ironed into quarters, and placed it on the desktop. “That's the second one.” She slid it exactly halfway between her and Elsa.

Elsa smiled, genuinely smiled, and took it. She dried her eyes, then held it up to her face. She didn't make a sound, she hardly moved, although Ingrid saw her shoulders shake a little. Ingrid kept her eyes on the board and waited until Elsa was done. She knew that sometimes, some people need to talk, and other times, other people need to sit and have their silence accepted.

In peaceful companionship, the game continued.


	5. Pride And Shame

Ingrid was back in Elsa's study the next morning. Elsa was sending for her more often, but never this early in the day before. She wondered if it was a bad sign.

They were partway through their first game when Ingrid said, “A strange thing happened yesterday.”

Elsa looked up, concerned. How much of the last day was public knowledge? The physical debris was impossible to hide, of course, but what had been overheard? How much had Anna said, and to whom?

Ingrid went on. “The Councillor of State stopped me in the hall and spoke to me. He asked if I was 'that Ingrid'. I'm always plain Ingrid. I'm never ' _that_ Ingrid' unless I'm in trouble.”

Elsa was relieved. It was nothing to do with her. “Were you in trouble?”

Ingrid shook her head. “He asked if I was the one playing 'tafl with…as part of my duties. Then he thanked me for my good work and told me to keep it up. I have no idea what he meant. It was very unsettling.”

“He probably meant that as long as you're keeping me busy I'm not pestering him to get his work done.” Elsa slid a white piece across the board. “You needn't worry.” Ingrid did not look relieved. “Please stop fidgeting. It makes me restless.”

To stop herself fidgeting Ingrid held herself rigid. Elsa sighed gently. Half to herself she said, “Sit like a cat, not like a mouse.”

“Was she talking to me?” Ingrid asked herself out loud. “I wish I knew what she meant.”

“It's something Mama used to say.” Elsa put a cupped hand on the table, twitching it back and forth like a nervous mouse. “The mouse fidgets because she doesn't know where she's going, she's just looking to run away.” She then held the hand stiff. “Or she tenses and curls up because she's afraid. She acts scared, she looks scared, she feels scared.”

She held her other hand cupped on the table on the other side of the gameboard, smoothly turning from side to side as if looking for prey. “The cat never fidgets because she knows where she's going.” She then held it easy and motionless. “When she doesn't move, it's because there's nowhere she needs to go. She sits up because she's not afraid to be seen. She doesn't stiffen because she isn't scared. She acts brave, she looks brave, she feels brave.”

She twitched and scampered her mouse-hand again. “And as much as the mouse is trying to protect herself, it's the scampering and stiffening that draws the cat.” Her cat-hand leapt over the board and pounced on her mouse-hand. Ingrid jumped a little in her seat.

“I don't understand how the cat acts brave when she doesn't feel brave.”

“She acts brave, _then_ she looks brave, _then_ she feels brave. Try it.”

As if she was trying on a new body and wasn't used to it yet, Ingrid shifted and readjusted herself in her chair until she was sitting upright and relaxed. She took a deep breath and let it out. It felt better. Elsa nodded, then went back to studying the board. “Sit like a cat, not like a mouse. Very good, Ingrid.”

Ingrid was sure that must've been what Elsa had said. It did sound a lot like, “Very good, Anna,” though.

  
  


A few minutes later, Ingrid paused before taking her move. “A mouse can learn a lot from a cat. And be very grateful, of course. But at the end of the day, no matter how much she's learned, she's still a mouse.”

“She'd be a very interesting mouse.”

Ingrid's piece pounced across the board.

* * *

Elsa sat at the new table in her outer office. The Councillor for Justice stood across from her and bowed. “Good morning, Your Majesty. I believe you sent for me.”

“Yes.” She held up a document. “What is this?”

“That would be a…an official charge of libel, ma'am? Awaiting your signature?”

“It's a charge of 'libel against the crown'. Please don't pretend to be stupid, Councillor. It will go badly if you fail, and worse if you succeed. This is…?”

“Permission to be candid, ma'am?”

“You don't have permission not to be. Now sit down and tell me why this is completely lacking in detail, and why it is late.”

“It's late because my staff were trying to find a way to handle this without involving Your Majesty. There wasn't one. Any case of libel against the crown must be brought by you. There's no leeway. And this was not something we could let pass.”

“And the libel in question?”

“Was so distasteful we wanted to spare you.”

“Spare me? Have I ever been bothered by libel cases before?” In fact, she looked forward to them. She and Anna used to read them over and laugh.

“There hasn't been one like this before. And this may not be a good time for you to…. You might find it uncomfortable, ma'am.”

“I'm already 'uncomfortable'. I doubt this could make things worse.”

“Please, Your Majesty. Trust me, sign the complaint, and let us take care of it.”

“No.”

He sighed heavily and slumped in his chair. “A musician named Bjarne Olofa was arrested in the Harp and Clouds tavern.”

“The Harp and Clouds?”

“Informally known as 'The Flying Egg-slicer'. It would've been slander, but under the laws of Arendelle a public performance for an audience of more than twenty-four constitutes publication. He performed the song, 'The Queen's True Love'.”

Elsa sat very still, as if she was afraid of crumbling. “This song, 'The Queen's True Love'. What's it about, exactly?”

“Nominally, it is about your love for Arendelle, and Arendelle's love for you. However, from some of the imagery it's clear that 'Arendelle' is standing in for…”

“Go on,” she said softly.

“For another name that starts with 'A'.”

“Anna.”

“Yes.”

“And the libel?”

“Is that it suggests a love that is…” He closed his eyes. “…inappropriate.” He waited for her to explode. After a few seconds he opened his eyes again.

Elsa was rereading the document. “Right. I'll hear the case this afternoon.”

He hoped she didn't really mean what she said. “You wish the case to be heard today.”

“I wish to hear it. Arrange my schedule.”

Officially all cases were heard by the Queen, with the judge acting on her behalf so she didn't need to be present. However, if she wanted to judge a case personally there was no legal way to stop her. Assuming anyone would dare to try.

* * *

“Be upstanding in court for Her Righteous Majesty Queen Elsa Of Arendelle, Ruler Of Arendelle, Its Territories, Assigns, And Satellites, presiding.” The bailiff was overcome with pride, seeing Queen Elsa enter in the velvet robe reserved for royal use in court. To his knowledge it hadn't been worn for two generations. He didn't particularly care about the case, but this was something he would tell his grandchildren. It was a shame that they had to keep spectators out of the courtroom.

She sat. The bailiff announced, “Be seated.”

Given the case and who was hearing it, the Councillor for Justice himself appeared for the crown. His argument was that the song clearly suggested an improper relationship between Elsa and Anna. The Ombudsman At Court appeared for the defense, and argued that they lyrics on their face were harmless, and any other interpretation was irrelevant.

After the cases were made and the witness interrogated by both sides, Elsa spoke. “I don't see the lyrics in the list of evidence. Councillor?”

“We don't have a copy, Your Majesty. It's sung, not printed. But the arresting officer's notes and the accused's testimony are sufficient to prove his guilt.”

“Not for me. Mr. Olofa, I would like to hear the song in question.”

He retrieved his guitar and pulled his chair out to the middle of the room. He bowed. “Your Majesty, gentlemen of the court.” He looked around, and smiled up at Elsa. “When I dreamed of a royal command performance, this is not what I pictured.” He waited for a reaction that didn't come. “Tough crowd. And I've appeared at the Snuggly Duckling.”

He reminded Elsa of Cousin Punzy's husband Eugene. The worse the situation, the more confident he acted. He was acting very confident now.

He thought to himself, _If I'm going to be hung for a performance, it might as well be a good one._ He strummed his guitar and sang.

_Sweet Arendelle, sweet Arendelle,_

_Queen Elsa's passions burn_

_for her beloved Arendelle,_

_as she's beloved in turn._

Having played more than his share of taverns, Olofa was used to not being looked at as he sang. He hardly noticed that all eyes were on Elsa.

She saw what the fuss was about. The song was one long double entendre. The “rare, well-rounded seat” of royal power, the “welcoming, warm bosom” of Arendelle. She felt a pang at the line about the fjord's “wet and open mouth”. The song had been written before she kissed Anna, and she still hoped that no one knew. Could her feelings have been so obvious that strangers could read what was in her heart?

She knew she should've been outraged at the verses, but it was the chorus that held her attention. “Her beloved Arendelle, as she's beloved in turn.” She missed loving Anna, and she missed being beloved in turn.

The song ended. Olofa was used to applause and laughter, or shouts and booing, to let him know how he was doing. He couldn't tell if the silence was legal decorum or if it meant he was in deep, deep trouble. He loobeing able to loveked to Elsa, as everyone else already had, to judge her reaction. He hoped she'd be amused. He was afraid she'd be furious. What no one expected was that she would be melancholy.

Elsa gavelled for attention, as if it was necessary. “We shall dispense with a recess. We have reached a verdict.”

She looked thoughtfully into space for a moment, then returned to the courtroom. “There is no question that the song, on its face, is about our love for our country. The question before us is whether the lyrics actually allude to a libellous relationship between our Princess and ourself. With a certain mindset, the song can be interpreted that way. However, in order to do so without it being pointed out, one must be able to imagine that such a relationship is possible, even conceivable. One must be able to imagine that such an attraction could ever be reciprocated, and then acted upon. Such a thing is so utterly, utterly impossible that anyone who could imagine it must be a sad, pathetic fool. Misguided. Deluded. Perhaps even insane. At any rate, deserving our pity, not our censure. We find the accused not guilty.”

As the people in court processed their surprise, she added, “Nonetheless, we do not wish to hear that song again. Ever.”

Without dismissing the court she stood and strode out of the room. The bailiff barely had time to say, “Be upstanding for Her Righteous Majesty…” before she was gone.

* * *

Elsa needed distraction, and she needed company, but she felt bad about calling Ingrid away from her job so often. She went to the storage closet next to Anna's room where their toys from childhood were stored, to get out their old hnefatafl board. She thought Ingrid might appreciate a set that was in better condition. It didn't occur to Elsa that Ingrid might be overwhelmed by ivory and onyx pieces on an inlaid mahogany board. She closed the door behind her and looked through the boxes. She heard a door, and then voices from Anna's room.

“Kristoff, I'm so glad you're back. I had to talk to you, and see you, or I'll go crazy.”

“This isn't because you miss me. This is about your sister again, isn't it.”

“I do miss you. But it's about Elsa, too. Things are worse. She sent me a horrible vulgar message. I don't know what she was thinking, I really don't. I'm just furious. I can't stand her right now. I need to know if she's okay.”

“What was that last one?”

“Well, I'm angry at her, but I still worry about her.”

“This message. Could I read it, so I know what you're talking about?”

“It wasn't written. I'd have to show you. And I can't. And if I could, I wouldn't want to.”

“So talk to the person who delivered the message. Ask what Elsa was like when she gave it to them. Maybe there was a misunderstanding.”

“I can't do that. I can't face that. I really need a hug right now.”

Silence. Were they hugging? “Poor Anna, sweetie. It's gonna be okay.”

“I really appreciate this, Kristoff.”

“My pleasure.” The sound of a kiss. “Although if you just needed a hug, there's always Olaf.” A pause. “What's the matter?”

“I can't talk about it.”

“Then don't.”

“But it's just so mpf— ” Did he put a hand over her mouth? “Mmm.” No, he was kissing her again.

 _First the trial, now this. Why does the world keep reminding me about my impossible feelings for Anna?_ She heard gentle murmurings and more kisses, then giggles. More kissing, and more soft moans from Anna. There was the sound of fabric, probably Kristoff taking off his jacket. But it went on too long.

She heard him say, “Let me help you with this.” They were undressing. He was undressing her. Elsa wanted to leave. She knew she had to leave. Eavesdropping on her sister's intimate moments was wrong in so many ways. But she could not force herself to move.

“Oh, Anna, you're so pretty.”

' _So pretty'? He's seeing and touching Anna, glorious adorable radiant Anna, and the best he can do is 'so pretty'?_ Elsa shook her head in dismay. _He doesn't deserve her. No one does._ A thin layer of clear ice slowly spread from Elsa's feet across the floor.

Anna made little contented sounds. Elsa tried to picture what was happening. In her mind's eye she could see Anna with perfect clarity, but Kristoff was ill-defined. She'd never seen so much as his forearms. Was Anna running her fingers through the hair on his chest, or stroking her cheek against its smoothness? What were those rough hands doing to her? Cupping her apple breasts? Stroking the red-gold tuft between her thighs? Elsa heard something wet and rhythmic. The shame she felt couldn't keep the pictures out of her mind. _This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong_ repeated in her mind.

Feeling intoxicated, her eyes half-closed, she bunched up her skirts with one hand and slid her undergarments down with the other, leaving a band of nakedness. She sat on a spare dining-room chair that was stored there, the embroidery on the seat prickling the smooth skin of her buttocks, and reached between her legs. She heard Anna moan, giggle, squeal with delight.

_This is wrong._

“Ah ah ah ah ah…” The song of Anna's moans had fallen into a regular rhythm. The words in Elsa's mind fell in step, as did the movement of her hand. In her imagining Kristoff had faded entirely, everything faded except Anna. Her graceful arms, her slender legs. Her tender lips barely exposing her white teeth. Her breasts rising and falling with her breath. The auburn speckling of her freckles. Her body rocking to the rhythm of her voice.

_This is wrong._

The beds in the castle were too solidly built to creak or bump, but in her stomach Elsa could feel the vibrations of the floor. Anna's voice grew steadily louder, more insistent. Elsa switched hands, her left between her thighs, her right brought to her lips. She imagined that the taste was Anna's taste, the scent Anna's scent. Her eyes rolled back and she moaned in the back of her throat.

_This is wrong._

A clear layer of ice had crept over the floor, the walls, the shelves. The tiny part of Elsa that was still rational hoped that it had frozen the door shut. How degrading would it be for someone to walk in on her now, panting, blushing, her clothes bunched, pleasuring herself while spying on her sister? The urgency of her body pushed it aside. She couldn't care about anything except what she was hearing and feeling and imagining.

_This is…_

Anna's moans had blended into one long, wavering moan. As she reached her zenith, Elsa approached hers.

“OH KRISTOFF!”

Even as the dagger of jealousy slid into her heart, Elsa reached her peak. Her legs clamped together, trapping her hand. She pressed her other hand against her mouth and nose, muffling her voice. Energy surged through her body, making her buck and spasm. In that instant the layer of ice that glazed the room suddenly vanished as if it never was, leaving the air dry and slightly warm.

Elsa sat hunched, her breathing slowing. Her fever had broken and she came back to the world. _Oh god, this is wrong. Very, very wrong._ Despite herself, she listed her sins. Incestuous, sapphic desires, that was a given. Voyeurism. Spying on her sister at all, let alone spying on her intimate moments. The same for Kristoff. Staying when she knew she had to leave. Jealousy. Selfishness. Lust. Madness.

She wiped her hands on her undergarments and pulled them up. She stood, and smoothed her skirts. Seeing the dark circle of wetness she had left on the chair, she added 'vandalism' to her list and covered the stain with a lacquered box.

Muffled murmurings came from the next room, Anna's voice and Kristoff's, unaware of what Elsa had been doing. She thanked god that her shame had been trapped in this small room. The reason she was there came back to her — to get the game board and pieces — and she abandoned it for later. She didn't dare to make a sound rummaging through boxes. She tidied her hair, then chilled her hands and pressed them to her face to reduce the flush warming her cheeks. Opening the door as silently as she could, she slipped into the hall and strode back to her rooms, disguising panic as purposefulness. She needed to wash her hands and change her underthings before anyone could smell the shame on her. She thought with bitterness of the citizens who admired her and thought she was a paragon. _If they only knew._ She almost wished they did, just so everything would be over.

 


	6. Listening And Learning

There was a knock at the door to Elsa's study. “Come in,” she said, and set aside the books and documents she'd been flipping through.

It was the servant, Nils. He bowed quickly. “Beg your pardon, Your Majesty.”

“I'm not ready for dinner yet, come back in half an hour.”

“It's the Royal Icemaster, ma'am. He requests an audience.”

 _Oh dear lord in heaven._ “Tell him… Tell him I'll see him in the outer office in a minute or two.” _Did he suspect? Did I make a noise? Does he know?_

“Yes, ma'am.” He left.

Nervous, she hoisted a couple of heavy cast-iron weights she had borrowed and discharged cold into them. _I'm going to stop second-guessing myself. He knows what he knows. We'll just see what happens._ She set them down gently so they wouldn't shatter, took a deep breath, and went out to meet Kristoff face to face.

Kristoff shuffled back and forth as he waited for Elsa to come out. Before he met Anna he'd never had any use for aristocracy, except maybe Grand Pabble. Now he was sure, almost completely sure, he was in love with Anna. Her sister was the queen, so he had to get along with Elsa somehow. There was no doubt she'd been very grateful to him for helping Anna, and she'd been very good to him with the new sleigh and official job and everything. All the same, if Anna wasn't there, being around Elsa made him feel about as cultured and elegant as Sven. Worse, it made him feel bad about it. It wasn't anything Elsa was doing. She'd never been less than civil with him. It was just who she was, and even though he knew he was being stupid and unfair he still resented it.

Elsa glided into the room and swept smoothly into her chair. “Kristoff,” she said, nodding to him.

He bowed. “Elsa.” He grabbed the back of a chair, spun it around, and sat on it backwards, his legs straddling the seat back.

Even if she hadn't been feeling ashamed and scared and jealous, Kristoff still made Elsa feel awkward. She would always be indebted to him for looking out for Anna. Would she even have a sister if he hadn't helped her on the North Mountain? And for Anna's sake, since he was her boyfriend — _correction: lover_ — Elsa needed to be friendly with him. But she knew so little about him or his life that, without Anna there, she didn't know how to talk with him, or even be around him.

“So. What brings you here today? To my office?”

He rested his arms on the chair back. It creaked under his weight. “How are you doing?”

“Quite well, thank you. Now, your business?” _Too brusque._

“Um. That was my business. _Is_ my business. I mean, Anna wants to know how you're doing. She sent me here to find out. How you're doing.”

Elsa looked away. “I think I have an idea of how much Anna cares about me and my well-being.”

“No, you don't.” _Oh damn, wrong way to talk to a queen._ “She's mad at you. Furious. I haven't seen her this angry since she punched Hans in the face.” _And that's not helping._

Elsa's expression was impassive as she waited for Kristoff to finish hanging himself.

“But she wouldn't be that upset if she didn't care. She's worried about you, and she wants to know what you were thinking, and how you are, and if you're okay.”

“You can tell her for me that I'm deeply sorry for offending her, and I hope she can come to forgive me.”

His hands gripped the seat back. “Listen, I'm not here to tell you what she said, or tell her what you said back. I'm not a messenger boy. She sent me to see how you are, and I'm going to tell her what I see, and that's it.”

She looked at his large hands, remembered where they must have been, what they must have been doing. She thought about what she'd overheard about men with large hands or large feet, but she also remembered what Mama had said, that a man may be big but he might not be big all over. She could never be him, she could never be anything like him. If that's what Anna wanted, things were even more hopeless than before.

“Elsa?”

She sat up, looked at him steadily. “As I said, I'm quite well, thank you.” _God, how I wish that were true._ “I appreciate your taking an interest, but I don't know how else to help you.”

He closed his eyes in frustration, then faced her again. “Listen. I don't know what's going on with you two. There's stuff Anna just can't tell me.”

 _Thank god,_ thought Elsa.

“But I don't really need to know. I know Anna, and I sort of know you, and I know what you're like together. The way you're supposed to be. And it's not like this. I don't know what it is, I don't care what it is, just fix it.”

Elsa's poise dropped away. “I want to. I can't. And I don't know how. I've done some things I shouldn't have, and I just want to make things right between us, but things keep getting worse.” She hated him for having what she wanted. She loved him for making Anna happy. She had nothing in common with him. And now she was pleading with him. “Help me, Kristoff. Anything you can do. Please.”

“I, um, okay.” Reindeer do not make life this complicated. Neither do trolls. He pushed himself up from the chair and headed for the door.

“Kristoff? Can you tell me what you're going to say to her?”

“I'm going to tell her what I see. You're not mean, and you're not crazy, but you're not doing so good.”

“Kristoff? Please. How is she?”

“She has her good days, and I try to help, but she's not doing so good either.” He headed for the stables to talk with Sven. He needed a break from people.

* * *

 Elsa heard a familiar quiet knock at her study door. _Thank goodness. I need this._ She stopped pacing, sat at her desk, and said, “Come in.”

Ingrid entered, carrying a tray, and curtsied carefully. “Good afternoon, Your Majesty. I have the tea and pastries you sent for.” The kitchen staff weren't shorthanded. She wondered why Elsa had her serving food.

“Very good. You can set them up on the desk, next to the board.”

Ingrid was puzzled when she saw the board was set up. She set out the tea service and the two small plates of pastries. Elsa was obviously expecting someone. If she and Ingrid played a game, or even a half-game, the tea would be cold by the time Elsa's guest would arrive. Was Elsa going to dismiss her and play against someone else today? Ingrid stood by the end of the desk with the empty tray.

Elsa waved at a side table. “Set the tray there and sit down.” One dish was petit-fours glacé, the other pieces of kransekake. Elsa swapped back and forth so there was a mix on each dish and pulled one plate towards herself. “Starting with black, as usual?”

Ingrid nodded. Should she have served Elsa a cup? Ingrid couldn't bring herself to ask, and Elsa hadn't said. To Ingrid's shame Elsa poured for herself, then she made her opening move and sampled a petit-four.

Ingrid focused on the game. Elsa nibbled as she played. After a few moves back and forth Elsa asked, “Do you like pastries, Ingrid?”

She nodded.

Elsa pushed the other dish closer to Ingrid. “Well I can't eat these all myself, you know.”

Ingrid thought she knew what was happening, but it was so far outside the way things were done that she needed to be sure. “They're not for someone else.”

“They're for you, of course.”

“Oh.” _Of course!?_ She looked at the dish, the board, glanced at Elsa, looked at the dish again. _She_ was the guest Elsa was expecting. She was a _guest_. She had to behave like it. _Sit like a cat, not like a mouse._ She sat up, helped herself to some kransekake, and moved her piece. Proud of herself, she took the other cup and poured herself some tea. Then she glanced up to see if Elsa was looking. She was, and to Ingrid's relief she wasn't upset. She was even smiling a little.

Ingrid sipped her tea. It was hot; a good sign. The game went on. The fondant on the petit-fours was too sugary for Ingrid, but the kransekake was very good.

A little while later Elsa said, “I have a board that An— that I used to play with. It's in very good shape, practically new. I thought you might like it if we used that one.”

Ingrid was unsettled. She stared into her teacup. “She's being nice to me. Why?”

“I've been taking you away from your work a lot lately.”

“I've been keeping up. I'm not behind.”

Elsa gently shook her head. “No, it's not that. I feel like I've been imposing on you lately, bringing you here so often.”

“It's not an imposition to do my job.”

The smile drained from Elsa's face, leaving it empty. “I see.” She bent her head over the board.

This was unfamiliar territory to Ingrid, and it took her a little while to process. Her eyes widened with realization. “She doesn't know I want to be here. She— ” Ingrid blinked, swallowed, then sat up like a cat and looked directly at Elsa. “ _You_ need to know. I like spending time with you. I like being with you. You've always been considerate and thoughtful to me. You don't get anxious if we're together and we don't say anything. I don't know what it's like for you, but I don't have much of that in my life. I enjoy being here.”

“Even when you were scared?”

“I'm still scared. I'm scared now.”

“Of what?”

“Letting you down. Still, these sessions are the most content and comfortable I've been since before I left home. When they're done I'm going to miss them. You don't have to give me cakes. I'm…” She stopped, searched for the right word. “I'm happy.”

“What do you mean, 'when they're done'?”

Being bold enough to say these things was making Ingrid light-headed. “You love your sister and you will get back together again, I know it. Then you won't need me anymore. And even though I enjoy these sessions I would never want your reunion to be delayed. I hope it happens for you soon, as soon as possible. And when it does I won't have regrets. I will have nothing but gratitude for this. But I will miss…” She looked down again, and her voice faded. “…you.”

Elsa wanted to comfort her, tell her it wouldn't be like that. She almost did. But she couldn't deny what Ingrid had said. These sessions were Elsa's way of coping, a bandage over the hole that Anna left behind. Once she and Anna were reunited — and Ingrid, at least, seemed confident of that — what room would there be for Ingrid in her life? Elsa tried to picture it and couldn't. Fond as she was of Ingrid — more fond than she realized — she still craved Anna more than anything. Anna was the sun that blotted out the stars. Elsa had never expected that any part of winning Anna's love could make her sad.

She touched Ingrid's hand. To Ingrid's credit she didn't jump back or even flinch. She just looked up into Elsa's eyes. Elsa said, “I'll miss you too.” They sat for a moment. “Now drink your tea while it's hot.”

They played, nibbled, sipped their tea. Ingrid made sure to pour for Elsa that time.

Elsa said, “I was talking before about the board I have in storage. Would you like me to get it for next time?”

“If you'd prefer.”

“I asked what _you_ want,” Elsa said gently.

“I'd rather not, thank you. I played on this one with Anders, my younger brother. It reminds me of being with him.”

“So you had a brother.” Ingrid didn't say much about herself, and Elsa had never heard her talk about her family.

“I had five brothers and two sisters. The older ones worked in the fields. I helped Mama in the house and took care of Anders. Fed him, washed him, held him down. We played a lot of hnefatafl. He was very good.”

 _Held him down?_ “He's the youngest?”

“He was. I am now.”

The calmness in Ingrid's voice confused Elsa. She ran over the conversation in her head to make sure she understood what Ingrid had said. “Oh, I'm sorry. I'm very sorry for your loss.”

“I apologize. I said too much. I shouldn't have mentioned it.”

“No, it's all right.” Elsa braced herself. “I've lost family, too. If you ever want to talk about it, it's okay.” She remembered who she was talking to. “If you don't, that's okay, too.”

“Thank you. Don't worry for me. I can't be sad for what I've lost. I have to be grateful for what I had.”

Elsa tilted her head to one side as she looked at this odd, surprising girl. “You're very wise.”

Ingrid paused, shook her head a little. “I'm sorry, I wasn't clear. It's not that I'm wise. I _can't_ be sad. I _have_ to be grateful. It's… Nothing else works.” She shrugged, and returned her attention to the board.

* * *

Anna found Kristoff in the stables again. He was brushing Sven's fur and talking to himself.

"Kristoff! Where were you? You didn't come back after you talked with Elsa."

"I needed some reindeer-time. I'm sorry."

"How was she? How did she look? What did she say? What was she like?"

Kristoff took a deep breath, sighed heavily, and set down the grooming brush. "The more I hear about this stuff, the less I understand what's going on. And I know how much you talk about things — " He caught a look from her. " — hey, hey, not a criticism, that's just who you are — so if there's something you don't want to tell me you must have a good reason and I'm okay with that. But as angry as you are, you love her and you miss her. And whatever she did to you, she loves you and misses you, too. And no, she hasn't gone crazy or mean or weird."

He moved Sven's mouth and said, "Like he could tell," in that goofy voice.

As himself he said, "So whatever the thing is you can't tell me, I can't see how it could come out of nowhere and be that big a deal. But like I said, what do I know?"

"I'm sorry, Kristoff." She put her hand on his arm. "I never should have put you in the middle of this. It must be really uncomfortable. But if you had only seen what Olaf was doing — "

"Olaf? What does he have to do with this?"

"He delivered the message. Anyway, he — "

"Olaf?"

"Yeah, I just said that. And he — "

"You didn't say it before."

"You sure?"

"Am I sure?" Kristoff threw his hands in the air. "I would remember that. If you told me, 'Elsa sent me a gross message, and I got it from Olaf', hell yeah I'd remember. That explains everything."

"What do you mean?"

"Hey, I like the little guy, and he was there for you when you were, you know," and he pantomimed shivering, "so that makes him my friend for life. But you've got to admit he's — "

"Be nice, Kristoff."

" — an idiot."

"I said, 'be nice.'"

"I was. I mean, from Elsa to Olaf to you. If something stupid and vulgar got in there, I don't think it's from you or Elsa."

"Olaf would never do anything like that."

"On purpose? Hell no. _Not_ on purpose? Like I said, he's — " She glared at him again. " — not as intelligent as you might like. But hey, this is good news!"

"Really?" she said, still scowling.

"What's better? Elsa being horrible or Olaf being an…making a mistake? And what's easier to fix? I just wish you'd told me to begin with."

"I was really upset."

"I know. And I hate it when you are." He smiled sadly at her, then brightened. "So go find Olaf and stop being upset. Go fix!"

"Aren't you coming?"

"You'll have one clueless doofus to deal with, you don't need two."

"Oh, Kristoff, you are so not a doofus." She gave him a kiss and a warm hug. "Not right now, anyway." She swatted him playfully and dashed off.

 


	7. Late Delivery

Heading for the castle proper, Anna took a shortcut through the servants' areas. Royalty weren't supposed to be down there, but everyone was used to Anna. She met a pair of chambermaids on the way and stopped them.“Lissi! Ingrid! I need someone to find Olaf and bring him to my rooms right away.”

Lissi stepped forward, curtseyed with a flourish that made her brown curls bob and sway, and said “Yes, Your Highness, anything you wish.”

Behind her, Ingrid bobbed a curtsey and said, “Ma'am.”

Lissi went on. “Ingrid's free right now. She can look for Olaf if you like, and I can come to your rooms and assist you.”

“Or we could both go and find him twice as fast,” added Ingrid.

“Good thinking,” said Anna, gripping Ingrid by the shoulder. “Split up and meet me at my rooms.” Neither one of them seemed to notice Lissi glaring at Ingrid before they ran off.

Anna had been pacing her bedroom for twenty minutes when Lissi burst gasping through the door. She curtseyed and said, “Hello again, Your Highness. I've searched everywhere I could think of and asked everyone I could. There's no sign of Olaf anywhere. He must be in the market, or out wandering, or who knows where. I'm sorry, ma'am. But if there's anything I — ”

The door opened again and Ingrid herded Olaf into the room. She bobbed. “I found Olaf, ma'am.”

“Hi, Aunt Highness!” As he started to bow Ingrid came around, caught his head, and lifted it back in place.

“Good work, Ingrid,” said Anna. “How'd you find him?”

“I walked through the castle and listened for chaos.”

“Right. I need a minute with him. Could you wait for me there, please?” She pointed at the next room, her dressing room.

When they were gone Anna grabbed his head, bumped his body into a cupboard, and closed the door. Planting his head on a coffee table she said, “Right. We need to talk.”

“Sure, anything. Just don't leave my body in there too long, okay? It's not house trained, and without my flurry he might leave a little puddle.” He laughed awkwardly.

“Remember that message you were supposed to bring me? From Elsa?”

“My royal quest! Of course. How may I be of service?” A thump came from the cupboard as his body bowed.

“I want you to tell me everything you remember about what Elsa told you to do.”

“Sure! She had a very important message for you, and I had to make sure you got it, and I had to make sure it didn't melt.”

“Didn't melt?”

“Yeah. And then she gave me the shiny thing and I went gallantly on my way.”

“What shiny thing?”

“The message. It was a piece of ice with words on it and a sculpture inside, about this long.” His arms scraped against the cupboard door. “About thiiiis long.” Scrape. “That is _not_ working. Anyway, it was really pretty. So I came here as fast as I could. There were stairs, you know.”

“Right.” She opened her dressing room door. Lissi hurriedly turned around and closed the closet doors behind her. “I have to talk to Elsa, right now, and I need one of you to come with me.”

They followed her to the outer room. “I would be honoured to assist you,” said Lissi, positioning herself between Anna and Ingrid.

“Excellent.” Anna tucked Olaf's head under one arm. “I'll go on ahead.” She opened the cupboard door. Olaf's body dashed out and tripped over a footstool. As it got up and ran in circles, she said, “You bring that. And thanks loads, it's a big help.”

Anna sped down the hallway as Lissi tried to herd Olaf's body. Lissi and Ingrid heard Olaf in the distance, saying, “Go on a-head! I get it! Um, that was a joke, right?”

* * *

Elsa had dismissed her Councillors from her outer office and was gathering up documents when the doors crashed open. She looked up and saw Anna, eyes wide and expression manic, carrying Olaf's head. Her papers spilled on the floor. For an instant she thought, _Did Anna kill Olaf? What did he do_ _this time_ _?_ Then she remembered how he worked, and was relieved — but still baffled.

“Elsa, we have to talk. I mean we've always had to talk, we've needed to talk for weeks, but now we really need to talk.”

“Hi, Your Regality,” interjected Olaf. There was a thump from just outside the room. It was the sound of a chambermaid tripping over the body of a snowman that had stopped and bowed without warning. “Funny thing,” he continued. “That message you gave me to give to Anna? Seems like there was a tweensy bit of a mixup. Perfectly understandable, perfectly innocent. I'm sure we'll all look back on this and laugh and laugh.”

“Olaf? I want you to tell Elsa what you did when you came to deliver me her message.”

“Well, you told me I had to keep the shiny thing from melting, so I — ”

The door opened and Lissi, on her hands and knees, her bouncy curls now wet and plastered to her face, wrestled Olaf's body into the room. “Your Majesty, Your Highness, I have this…thing for you.” She pulled herself up by the doorknob and wobbled a curtsey.

“Thank you, Lissi,” said Anna. “You may go freshen up, if you like.”

Lissi looked at the queen and princess, two powerful women she would do anything to be close to. Then she looked at Olaf. “Thank you, ma'am. I'll go now.”

Anna planted Olaf's head on his body. He shook his bottom layer back and forth. “I've still got it. Oh! By 'it' I mean your message for Anna, Your Queenitude.” He shook his bottom again. “Although, to be fair, I have still got it.”

“Stop!” commanded Elsa, scowling.

Anna and Olaf halted where they were.

“Right,” continued Elsa. “Now, Anna.” She took a breath, and her face softened into a sad smile. She took Anna's hands. “Oh Anna, it's so good to see you again, even like this. I've wanted to see you and talk with you for days and days. But I didn't know how without making things worse.” Then a smile lit up her face like a sunrise. “If it takes a circus like this to let me see you again, bring on the circus. Now what's going on?”

“Olaf,” said Anna, bending down with her hands on her knees to face him, “you said you still have what Elsa gave you for me?”

“You bet! Safe, sound, and snow-packed.”

“Good. Now I want you to show Elsa exactly what you did when you came to bring it to me.” She turned to Elsa and raised an eyebrow. “Brace yourself.”

“Okay! 'Something special for you personally, by order of Her Majesty Queen Elsa.' Here we go.” His eyes clenched, his tooth biting his lower lip, he strained and began to extrude the snowy cylinder again.

Anna looked away. Elsa watched in disbelief. “Oh. Oh my. Oh my God. Anna, he did that?” Anna nodded. “And he said that was a message from me?”

“Word for word.”

“Oh, I am so, so sorry. I had no idea. You must have thought…” Olaf was still making straining noises. She lunged at him, grabbed the cylinder, and yanked it out. “Oh for heaven's sake! Give me that!”

“Ooh! Once again, what an interesting sensation. Not unpleasant, all things considered.” He smoothed himself flat, and aimed the back of his lower section up at his flurry. “Gotta top it up. 'Scuse me.”

Elsa and Anna turned their backs to him. Elsa brushed the snow off her sculpture. To be fair to Olaf, it was still in its original condition. Elsa looked at it thoughtfully. “Anna, this is what I wanted you to have. I sent it with Olaf because you like him, and I didn't know if you'd take it from me. If I'd known…”

Anna smiled. “You couldn't have known.” She accepted the flawless crystal of ice gingerly, holding it by the edges with her fingertips. She read its message, admired the frost rose trapped inside. “The petals, they're…that's what you drew in the sky for me. It's so sweet. And so beautiful. And what you've written, it's just…” Her eyes filled with tears. “It's amazing. It's lovely. I've never seen anything so…so…I said 'beautiful' already, haven't I? Well, it is. It is the most beautiful thing I could ever imagine. Ever. Thank you so much. And I am so, so sorry.”

“Anna, you don't have a thing to be sorry for. You're my sister, and I missed you, and I love you with all my heart. I promise to be a sister and a friend, and that's more than enough for me.”

“Well I am sorry, I'm sorry for that horrible letter I sent you. I wish Olaf had stuck _that_ in his butt, and left it there. Anyway, I want you to read this.” She fished out an envelope addressed to Elsa. “This is the letter I wanted to send, before Olaf…you know.” The envelope showed the marks of having been crumpled tightly into a ball and hurled, and then gently smoothed out again.

Elsa opened and read. “Oh. Oh Anna. Oh dear, sweet, wonderful Anna. If I had only known.”

“It's not a sculpture. It's not beautiful or anything. It's just a note.”

“Anna, what you've written here is more beautiful than anything my magic could make. Ten times, a hundred times more beautiful. It's…” _Can I say it?_ “It's the beautifullest thing ever in the history of beautiful things.” They laughed gently through their tears.

“Oh, it's starting to melt!” said Anna as the crystal began to drip onto her hands. “Can you do anything? It's so amazing. How can we save it?”

“Oh no, you can't do that,” said Olaf. “You see, the message of her words and her artwork is that, while the individual expressions of love or trust or beauty and all the things we hold dear may be impermanent, the ideals of love and trust and beauty can always be returned to because ideals are eternal. The fact that she expressed this in a form that is inherently impermanent simply adds to the poignancy of the message and of the thoughts and feelings she's expressing.” They stared at him. “Also, I'd have to stick it back in my butt, and you guys don't seem too happy about that.”

They laughed more freely this time. “Oh, Anna.” Elsa set down the letter and hugged the sister she loved.

And felt Anna stiffen in her arms. Elsa stepped back and saw the shock in Anna's face, as Anna saw the pain and guilt in Elsa's. “No, no, it's okay,” said Anna. “You just caught me a little off-guard, is all.”

“No,” said Elsa, shaking her head as her shoulders sagged. She slowly backed away. “No, I understand. I don't have that right anymore, and I know why. I would never want to make you uncomfortable ever again, not for anything.”

“Elsa, no.” Without thinking, Anna ran to her and hugged her warmly, freely, unselfconsciously. Elsa gingerly hugged her back and felt Anna hold her even tighter. They rocked back and forth, they sighed, they wept in each other's hair. They both felt like they had been in exile and were finally home.

“Well, if you guys don't need me…”

“You may go, Olaf,” said Elsa.

“I mean, I can see you're having a moment — ”

“Go,” said Anna.

“So then — ”

“Shoo. Scat. Go go go,” said Anna.

“Welp. Bye.” And he left, proud of a job well done.

 


	8. Everything Is Fine

Elsa was leaving a meeting when she met Lissi and Ingrid in the hall coming the other way. “Lissi. Ingrid.”

“Your Majesty,” said Lissi as she curtseyed.

“Ma'am,” said Ingrid as she bobbed politely.

“I'd like a word with Ingrid.” Lissi hovered expectantly. “Just Ingrid.” Lissi curtseyed again and went on her way, glancing over her shoulder. Elsa waited, then Ingrid gave a small nod once Lissi was out of earshot.

“Ingrid. Good to see you again.”

Ingrid smiled warmly. “It's good to see you too, Your Majesty.” She glanced down the hallway in both directions. “Since we're not in your study, if you wish I could use your formal titles for appearances' sake, ma'am.”

Elsa sighed. “Come on.” She went to the nearest door, which opened on a guest room, currently unoccupied.

Ingrid followed. “If I may.” She took a dropcloth off the single chair in the room, folded it quickly and neatly, then placed it on the edge of the bed and sat on it. The air was stale, but at least their clothes wouldn't get dusty.

“So. It's been a few days.”

“Yes, since you reconciled with Princess Anna. I'm very happy for you. For you both.” Ingrid was true to her word. To Elsa's slight discomfort, Ingrid didn't show a particle of resentment over being disregarded. She was purely happy.

“Thank you. It's good that I saw you just now. There was something I wanted to mention.”

“Yes?”

“Your family. They live near Lillefjord. And you keep in touch with them.”

“Yes, at least one letter a week. I send them some of my wages, to help out.”

“That's a fishing village.”

“Yes, but we're farmers. All except me, of course. I'm here.”

“And your mother makes preserves, pickling, that sort of thing.”

Ingrid wondered where Elsa was headed. She hadn't expected to talk with Elsa again, but if she had she would never have guessed it would be about preserves. “Yes. Well, we all help out in season. But she's in charge. She's pretty good at it.”

“Good, good.” Elsa put her hands together and touched her fingertips to her lips thoughtfully. “There's a trade treaty with Allemand that I'm negotiating. It'll be signed soon, and will come into effect in a month or so. One of the elements is in reference to processed versus non-processed — ” She stopped herself, waved her hands back and forth. “Never mind the details. Duties are going up on imported smoked eel, pickled herring, and so on. If a family that lived near a fishing village started making that sort of thing, they'd do all right for themselves. If they started now, before everyone else, they'd do very well indeed.”

“Oh. I see.”

“Your weekly letter home?” Elsa smiled encouragingly. “You might want to send it right away.”

“I see. Thank you. Thank you very much.” Ingrid looked down and frowned for a moment. “I'm very, very grateful, please be sure of that. But telling me this, is that something a queen should do?”

“It's something a friend should do, for someone whose family's been through a lot. And for someone who has been… Well, I thought it was a good way to say 'thank you'.”

Ingrid didn't know how to respond. What can you say when the queen gives you a secret as a gift, one that could bring prosperity to your family? What can you say when the queen calls herself your friend? What can you say when you've spent time with the queen at her request, time you enjoyed and looked forward to, time when you could feel yourself growing under her guidance and example? And with all you have to thank her for, what do you say when _she_ thanks _you?_

Ingrid blinked, smiled radiantly. “You're welcome.”

* * *

As predicted, Elsa didn't have time for hnefatafl. Her days were filled with Anna. Anna took her to the park where they tossed corn to the ducks, and giggled as Elsa was startled by a goose landing in front of her in a flurry of flapping wings. Anna took her to the market and showed her all of Anna's favourite shops, and shopkeepers. Elsa had to send for a servant to carry home all their treasures. Anna took Elsa out to the countryside for a picnic, where Her Righteous Majesty got grass stains on her knees and elbows. Sometimes Elsa would work in her study and Anna would simply sit there, happy to be with her. But whenever Anna suggested that Elsa put aside her work and go have fun, she always said yes. For Anna, it was like every day was her birthday. It should've been perfect.

* * *

Anna met Kristoff and Sven in the courtyard, with their wagon loaded with supplies. “Kristoff! What are you doing?”

“Getting ready to go. People need ice, and I can't keep them waiting.”

“Go? You just got here.”

“No, Anna, I didn't just get here. I was here five days ago. I should've left two days ago. You waved at me when I showed up, so you must've known I was here.”

“But I haven't had a chance to see you.”

Kristoff scoffed. “See me? I came here to see _you_. I always come here to see you. I saw the Royal Icemaster's stalls in the Royal Stables, I saw the Royal Icemaster's Quarters in the Royal Palace, I saw the bottom of a few beer steins at the Flying Egg-Slicer, but I didn't see you. Every time I tried to see you, you were out with the Queen. Every single time.”

“You know Elsa and I hit a rough patch, and we need to fix things up. She always makes time for me, so I need to make time for her. You need to understand.”

“I understand that she's your sister, and you care about each other. But what I don't understand is how she can make that much time for you. She's still Queen, right?”

“Of course. But she… She's fragile right now, okay?”

“Her? Queen Blizzard-In-A-Pinky? Fragile?”

“Like you said that time, there's Queen Elsa and there's my sister Elsa. And my sister Elsa needs me.”

“That much? And that's not just me wanting more time with you. Does it really feel right, like everything's okay?”

“Yes. Yes it does. Everything is fine.”

“Anna, I really hope it is.” He sighed, looked at her and half-smiled. “I want you to be happy, and I want her to be happy, and I'm sorry I was so…”

“Cranky? Mean? Jerk-faced?”

“I was going to say 'irritable', but that's close enough. But the thing is, I think you're being all feisty-pants and attacking a problem that doesn't need to be attacked. I think you need to take off your feisty-pants and relax.”

“You'd like me to take off my feisty-pants, wouldn't you?” she said, smirking.

“I can't say I'd mind.

“And I bet you think you could help me relax.”

“I'm willing to try.”

“Oh, Kristoff, I'm sorry I didn't make time to see you.” She hugged him, and warmly kissed him. He lifted her up in his hug and spun her around. “I was really distracted. But I think I could make it up to you if you could stay one more night.”

“Well, since I'm late already…”

“Oh, it'd have to be tomorrow. Tonight Elsa and I are going out to — ”

“Never mind. Maybe things'll be settled down the next time I come back.”

“Kristoff, she's my sister. I love her.”

“Well, I kind of thought that you, maybe, felt about me…”

She went to him, leaned against his chest. “I do. I do care about you.”

“And I…care about you too.”

“But please don't make me choose between you and Elsa.”

He backed away. “I don't know. Maybe you already did. Have a good time with Elsa tonight. I hope I'll see you later.” He climbed into the wagon and Sven pulled them out to the road.

Anna waved frantically at his back. “Kristoff! I'm sorry! I can fix this! I can try harder!”

* * *

From the window high in her office Elsa couldn't hear them, just as they hadn't seen her. All Elsa knew was that she saw Anna run up to Kristoff, have an intense conversation, share a hug and a kiss, and wave to Kristoff as he left. But it was all right. She was Anna's sister and her friend. That was plenty.

Elsa had everything her heart desired. Anna was happy. Happy with Kristoff, but happy. Anna was back in her life and in her heart. Elsa turned her head away every time they hugged so she couldn't smell Anna's hair, but that's just being reasonable. After all, they still hugged. She always waited for Anna to hug her first. She didn't want to make her uncomfortable. And she was spending more time with Anna than ever. She never missed a chance to do something with Anna. Never. No matter what else was going on, or demanded her attention, or how she was feeling. She would have done anything to get Anna back, and now she would do anything to keep her. And as long as they never mentioned…that thing, it would all be okay.

And she did love the time she spent with Anna. She loved Anna's spirit. When Anna lit up as she talked to people or enjoyed nature or discovered something new and interesting, even if it was little and silly, Elsa shared that joy. The world was beautiful when she could see it through Anna's eyes, and when she saw herself through Anna's eyes she felt happier and more blessed than she ever had.

She remembered how beautiful Anna looked when they were on that picnic, the sun turning her hair into a sunset at midday, her red lips meeting the red wine that Elsa had brought, her brilliant eyes as she looked at Elsa and smiled, her breasts gently rising and falling with her breath as she lay on her back and looked at the sky, the faint sheen of perspiration on her freckled skin, the silhouette of her legs appearing and disappearing as she ran in her summer dress. And through it all Elsa was a perfect lady. A perfect, perfect lady.

There had been a freak snowstorm that day, but it was miles away. A coincidence. After all, autumn was coming. It was simply unseasonable weather.

The madness was over. The thoughts, the desires that had driven her insane were all behind her. No, if she could have anything her heart desired it would be Anna back in her life and happy, and that's what she had. Everything was fine.

* * *

That evening most of the servants were having dinner in the kitchens. Kai was at the head of the table, talking with Nils and Helga, enjoying the beer he had missed at midday because he was supervising the gardeners. At the far end was Ingrid, thoughtfully eating her meal and practising sitting like a cat, relaxed but erect. Next to her, Lissi gave her a sidelong glance and muttered, “Must be very proud of yourself, working for the queen.”

Ingrid returned a mild, curious look. “Aren't you?”

“What? Proud of you?”

“No, proud of yourself. You work for the queen, too.”

“Huh. It's not the same thing.”

“I think it is. We all work for the queen. I think we should all be proud.”

“Yeah,” scoffed Kurt, the stablehand sitting across from her. “I'm very proud of the horse — ” He suddenly noticed Gerda looming over his shoulder, heavy ladle in hand. “ — _droppings_ I shovel out for Her Majesty.”

“I know you're joking, but it's true. We all work for the queen. This isn't a hotel, or a rich merchant's home. This is the Royal Castle. The work we do, we do for Queen Elsa, and for Arendelle.”

Lissi scoffed, but Kurt and some of the others started listening.

“Kurt. Do you think Her Majesty deserves clean stables? Wouldn't it reflect badly on her if they weren't? You make that possible. Lissi, how would it be if we didn't keep the rooms fit for royalty? Arendelle deserves a castle with a beautiful garden, clear paths, clean windows, fresh paint. Even the things Her Majesty doesn't see. Gerda, the food you cook makes it possible for us to do our work for Her Majesty.”

Gerda was amused, if unsettled. Ingrid hardly ever went on like this. “So that frikadeller on your plate is for the greater glory of queen and country, then?”

Untouched by sarcasm, Ingrid replied, “Yes. Yes it is.”

Kai weighed in from the far end of the table. “There, y'see? I always said we all could take a bit more pride in our appearance. Good to know someone was paying attention.”

As Gerda returned thoughtfully to the stove, some of the servants glanced at Ingrid and sat a little straighter in their own chairs as well. _That's not exactly what I said,_ thought Ingrid, _but it's close enough._

* * *

The following morning Elsa and Anna had breakfast in The Studio. Almost everything was just as it should be. The strawberries were small and unappealing, but that was because a sudden cold snap had wiped out the local crop, and they had to bring in what they could. Other that that, everything was fine.

They talked about the hike they'd been on and the rowing trip they were planning. Elsa had to postpone some diplomatic duties, but Anna was more important. She smiled at Anna, watching her eat her pancakes and licking the syrup from her fingers. She should've used a napkin, but it was worth it to see Anna's lips embrace each fingertip. Anna waited until Elsa was distracted, then picked up her bacon with her fingers and snuck a quick nibble. Elsa turned back sooner than Anna'd expected, but she didn't seem to notice.

Anna thought about what Kristoff had said. Was she trying too hard? Was Elsa? Could there be something wrong with being closer than ever? She loved being able to do whatever she wanted, whenever she asked, with Elsa. If Elsa seemed a little stiff, she probably just needed a little more fun to loosen her up.

Elsa wasn't distracted. Anna picked up her bacon and took another bite. Elsa said nothing.

Anna looked directly at Elsa and shoved the rest of the bacon slice in her mouth. Elsa smiled and drank some tea.

Anna leaned her head towards the servants. “Nils? Helga? Could you step outside please? Elsa and I need to chat.”

He bowed, she curtseyed, and they quietly left, closing the door behind them.

“Elsa, what the hell is wrong with you?”

Elsa was startled. “What do you mean?”

“You saw me just now. You hate it when I eat bacon with my fingers. You always tell me not to. Then you just sat there and smiled at me. What — Why — What's wrong with you?”

“You want me to scold you for that?”

“No, of course not.”

“Why is bacon so important?”

“The bacon doesn't matter! I don't give a damn about bacon, Elsa, I give a damn about you!”

“Anna, I just want you to be happy.”

Anna's anger turned into pleading. She pulled her chair forward so she could sit and take Elsa's hands. “I was unhappy because I missed my sister. Heartbroken. I wanted my sister back. I wanted you back, Elsa. But I still don't have you back.”

“I thought we were getting along better than ever.” Elsa looked into Anna's eyes, pleading.

“Nicer than ever. Not better. Not nearly as good.” Anna shook her head in frustration. “I want my Elsa back. My Elsa tells me not to eat with my fingers. When she's busy and I ask her to go outside with me she doesn't always say yes. She doesn't wait for me to make the first move every time. I want you back, Elsa, I want you to be yourself. All of yourself.”

Elsa pulled back, stiffened in her seat. “I can't do that, Anna. Not all of myself. There's a part that I can't…that I don't trust. I promise I'll do better, Anna. I'll find my way. Somehow.”

“That part you don't trust. It's there. It still weirds me out, frankly, but we've got to talk about it. We've got to deal with it. Please, Elsa.”

“I would do anything for you, Anna. I love you. As a sister and a friend, I love you. You know I would do anything I can for you, and maybe I've been doing too much for you lately. But I cannot look at that. I can't. Please don't mention it again.”

“Elsa — ”

“I'm begging you, Anna. No.”

Anna got up, started to walk away. “Okay, bye. I'm done breakfast for now. I'm gonna go to the library and read for a while, and I'll see you at dinner?”

“Of course.”

“You have a good day. Get some queen stuff done.”

“Of course.”

“And I think the rowing trip can wait 'til later, okay?”

“If that's what you want.”

Anna flared up for a second. “Elsa, I _just_ — ” And the fire went away just as fast, leaving her cold and tired. “Yes, Elsa. That's what I want right now.”

Anna closed the door behind her. Elsa sat and stared as the last traces of steam rose off her tea.


	9. Turbulent Flow

In patches throughout Arendelle, springs stopped flowing and water pumps went dry. Most of a field of lettuce turned brown and spoiled overnight. Hikers on the North Mountain spotted Marshmallow roaming agitated and confused. They kept their distance and went back below the snowline.

* * *

A few days later Anna saw Kristoff and Sven enter the courtyard, and she ran to meet him. “Kristoff! You're back early.”

“I rushed things a bit. I had to get back to talk to you. We have to talk.”

She put her hand on his shoulder and leaned in to whisper. “About us? Or about…something else?”

“Oh, Anna." He sighed. "I wish it was just about us. Weird stuff has been going on.”

“I think I know what it is. There's no one in the stables right now.” She straightened up, and spoke as if everything was normal. “Well, let's go and get Sven settled in.”

Kristoff unhooked Sven from the wagon and led him into his stall. Anna walked along, petting Sven. Kristoff said, “First, a lot of people are having water problems. Streams and rivers are still fine, but springs, wells, anything from underground has been messed up.”

“I know. I've been reading the papers. No pattern, no explanation. Give me that.” She grabbed the grooming brush from his hands and started brushing Sven.

“Hey, what's that about?”

“I need to do something or I'll freak out. Keep talking.” She brushed Sven briskly. “Anyway. The crops?”

“Big mysterious patches. Plants wilting. But here's the thing. I was at Widow Siemensen's the day before last. We were having sandwiches and she needed some water, so we went to her well.”

She stopped brushing. “You have sandwiches with all your customers?”

“No. She's just a nice lady who puts out a lunch when I bring her ice.”

“And it took two of you to go to the well?”

“Anna, do you really think that's the important part? Now keep brushing. Anyway, she lowers the bucket and instead of a splash we hear a thud.”

“The well was dry.”

“That's what she thought. But the bucket didn't hit dirt. It hit ice.”

“You could see down there?”

“No, thank God, or she'd be blabbing all over. But I knew the sound.”

“Kristoff, I need to know. Are you sure?”

“I don't know a lot about a lot, but I know ice. It sounded like grade 2 clear ice, at least twelve inches thick, maybe as much as twenty-four. And well below freezing.”

“Which means?”

“It froze fast, and to make that much ice that fast, well…”

“Elsa. And the crops. Frost damage?”

“Could be. But here's the clincher. It's not just crop blights and dry springs. The springs that _are_ flowing? Ice cold. She's freezing the underground aquifers.”

“Has it been happening for a couple of days or a couple of weeks?”

“Weeks.”

Sven was between them, and his body muffled her voice. “It wasn't me, then.”

“Anna?”

“Never mind. What I can't figure out is why it's different this time.”

“It has to do with how her magic decides how to act.”

She stopped brushing again, and straightened up. “Her magic can decide things?”

“Sort of. It's like…” He sighed, rubbed his hands over his face. “I wish you could've heard Grand Pabbie explain it. Anyway. Remember when you were reading in the castle library and I snuck up to surprise you?”

“And I clobbered you with that book? I said I was sorry. It wasn't my fault.”

“That's it, it wasn't your fault. You didn't decide to hit me, you just did it. But nobody else made you hit me either. So it wasn't you, but it wasn't not-you. Elsa's magic is the same, but bigger and more complicated. She's still struggling with your mysterious whatever, and her magic is lashing out, but it's protecting her by hiding underground and far away.”

“Protecting her from people finding out and attacking her? Like rising up and killing the evil witch?”

“Not yet. Nobody's putting the dots together. I think no one wants to. Sooner or later it could still happen, though. But I think the magic is protecting her from herself. It knows she doesn't want to know, and it's trying to save her from finding out.”

“Thank you, Kristoff.” She put the brush aside. “I think I mostly knew it, but I needed to hear it from someone else. Now come over here.”

He came around Sven and stood in front of her.

“I want you to kiss me, and I want you to pay attention because we might not be kissing again for quite a while.”

“Anna, what?”

“I have something I need to do. And I can't do it and be with you. I'm really, really sorry. Now kiss me.”

He kissed her slowly and tenderly, then with increasing passion, his lips and tongue trying to feel every part of hers. She breathed faster, harder, each breath punctuated by a tiny moan as she exhaled. He held her tiny body to his as tightly as he dared, his urge to squeeze her tightly and his urge not to hurt her in fierce tension. As tough as he knew she was, in his arms she felt as soft and breakable as a kitten. But she didn't need to hold back. She pressed her body into his and gripped him as tightly as she could.

With a gasp she let him go and stepped back. “I'm sorry.”

“When you say we might not kiss for quite a while, you meant…”

“Maybe never. Goodbye. I'm sorry. I'll see you around. Just not…” She walked, then ran away.

“Anna, wait! I…”

He watched her vanish down the corridor.

To the empty air he said, “…love you.”

* * *

Elsa was pacing aimlessly in her bedroom as she prepared for bed. She knew that Anna had been right that morning. She had been trying too hard, and driving herself crazy. She felt guilty about what a relief it was to focus on what she was doing for a change. All the same, the way things had ended made her afraid. _I have two skills. Commanding winter and driving Anna away._ She tried to think of a way to be the way she was before… Well, just “before”. When she could hug Anna because she felt like it, without worrying about how Anna would take it, without worrying about what she'd stir up in herself. When she could be touched by Anna's beauty and say, “You're beautiful,” and be simply happy. She'd had all the same desires for Anna then, to kiss and caress her, to be her lover as well as her sister. But before she acted on them that time — that single brief moment — they weren't real in the same way, not to Anna, not to herself.

She still hoped that she could put it aside and pretend those desires never were. She hoped that if she couldn't kill the madness she could at least starve it into submission.

She wore nothing but a blue-gray silk nightdress. She couldn't stand to wear anything heavier, and she didn't trust herself to wear icefabric anymore. She pulled back the covers, climbed in, and laid her head on one of the pillows.

She heard and felt a tiny crinkling. She sat up and examined the pillow. Inside the pillowcase was a small rectangle of flimsy paper, not big enough to cover a playing card. She read the tiny message to herself.

> _this was hers_
> 
> _no one knows_
> 
> _thank you_
> 
> _|_

She flung the pillow to the foot of the bed. Fear struck her in the heart as her mind raced to decode the message. _“This was hers.” Must be Anna. “No one knows.” That the pillow is here? That I have feelings for her? If it was a threat, why bother with the pillow? Why not just the note? “Thank you.” Doesn't sound like a threat. Unless it's sarcastic._ She looked over the note again. _Why a vertical line? Some sort of cryptic signature?_

She slapped her forehead. _Idiot!_ It wasn't a vertical line, it was a capital letter “I”. For “Ingrid”.

Ingrid was trying to pay her back for the fish-canning tip by bringing her Anna's pillow. Or pillows? She checked the other one and found an identical note. This time she spotted a thin strip of glue along one edge. The notes were written on cigarette papers. She tried to picture Ingrid smoking a roll-up and, panicked as she was, had to smirk at the image.

She admired the girl's cleverness, at least. The wording was vague enough to be deniable if someone saw it, and the cigarette papers should burn fairly cleanly to destroy the notes. Which she did, immediately.

Elsa returned to her bed, sitting cross-legged between the pillow at the head of the bed and the one she had thrown to the foot. Ingrid seemed to know Elsa's secret, and wasn't dismayed. Ingrid even seemed to be encouraging Elsa. Encouraging her to do something that she herself didn't want to do.

_But I do want to. I can hide, or lie, or turn away, but I want to._ She reached for the pillow at the footboard. _Her face touched this._ There was even a small circle of dried saliva. Expecting to be put off, Elsa touched it and found it endearing. She remembered coming in to Anna's bedroom to wake her, and seeing her sprawled relaxed on her bed, face peacefully slack, mouth gently hanging open. Elsa held the pillow to her cheek, imagined her own face next to Anna's, smoothing Anna's soft wild hair, imagined putting her mouth over Anna's open mouth, slipping her tongue between Anna's unresisting lips. For a fraction of an instant she had a fantasy of Anna's tongue responding to hers, so vivid she could feel it.

She inhaled, and caught a trace of Anna's scent. It would be hard for Elsa to describe. She couldn't say if it was something she could smell or something she could feel. She pressed the pillow to her face and inhaled again. Under the notes of soap and starch, Anna's presence filled her head. She hugged the pillow fiercely, and pulled the other one towards her. She laid her head on the second pillow and the fragrance of Anna was even more intense. Sometimes Anna would sleep hugging a pillow. This must have been next to her, pressed to her warm body all night, laced with Anna's sweat and musk and essence. Elsa breathed in greedily, her mouth slightly open, tasting Anna at the back of her throat.

Anna's body was here. Her warm skin pressed against this. Her body began to move as if waves were rolling up her body, as if her body was waves, rolling up from her hips to her torso to her head. She took the pillow she was hugging and folded it in half the long way, then pressed it between her legs with her right hand trapped between the pillow and her cleft, her nightdress bunched around her waist. As her thighs clamped on the pillow, the base of her hand pressed against her tuft and her slender fingers slid easily inside her, where she was already slick and oily. Her other arm tightly hugged the pillow to her, pressing it between her moon-pale breasts, her hand playing with her firm nipple. She gently ran a fingernail across the nipple and felt a tingle shoot down to her thighs.

Her head rocked gently back and forth as she savoured Anna's essence on the pillow. Her eyes half-closed as she imagined resting her cheek against the warm freckled skin that had pressed against the pillowcase. Her thighs clenched rhythmically against the pillow there, pushing her hand against herself, her moistened fingers gliding deliciously back and forth. In her mind it was Anna's thigh between hers, and Anna's soft fur glowing like embers under her palm, and Anna's fingers sliding against her. It was Anna's teeth, not her own fingernail, grazing her dark nipple and sending exquisite electricity through her.

“Anna,” she moaned, pleasure and pleading and surrender in her voice. She moaned “ah”, and she moaned “Anna”, and they ran together in a wavering song of helpless passion. Her legs clenched and her hips rocked, pressing the pillow more tightly, forcing her hand against herself. Her face was warm. Her breathing deepened, became more desperate. “Oh Anna. My Anna. I love you, Anna.” She yanked her right hand free and compressed the pillow more tightly, more nearly firm as she rocked and rubbed herself against it. She turned her head face-down, smothering herself in the other pillow, losing herself in soft cotton and batting and the traces of Anna's sleep. Her voice muffled, she felt freer to moan and plead as the heat and craving drove her body to writhe against her souvenir of her sister. The lust, the craving, controlled her now. She couldn't stop what she was doing. She couldn't even conceive of trying to. She rode the flood of passion as it rode her, her hips rocking harder and faster, her muffled moans of “Oh God, oh yes, oh Anna” filling her mind as she imagined Anna being beneath her, pressed against her, sharing her heat and lust. Her body burned with the delicious madness that had possessed her. She rocked, bucked, spasmed as she reached her peak. She arched backwards, her face free of the pillow as a last unmuffled “Ah!” filled her room.

At that moment throughout Arendelle springs ran freely, wells were no longer dry, and killing frosts evaporated into nothing.

Elsa fell back on her bed, her fresh sweat joining Anna's on the bedding. She breathed slowly and heavily. She conjured a cold breeze to bring her fresh air and dry the sheen from her body. She was filled with tremendous joy and rueful sadness. As great as the pleasure had been, it was proof that this dangerous part of her, this doomed passion, was too strong to be denied.

She knew she would be troubled tomorrow. She would have to find a way to deal with her sister, herself, her craving. For that matter she'd have to interview Ingrid to see exactly what the girl knew or suspected, and what she would do with that knowledge. But for all that she knew she'd have to face tomorrow, she knew she would sleep deeply and happily tonight.


	10. Trust

First came sensation. The luxurious heaviness of rising out of sleep. A feeling of thorough contentment and relaxation. The gratification of having done something wonderful and satisfying. The delicious tension and release of stretching and yawning. It felt delicious.

Then came awareness. She was Elsa. She was in her bed. Early morning light streamed through the window and painted a brilliant diagonal across her bed and her room. Her nightdress was in a crumpled band around her waist, pulled up from below and down from above. Her blankets were curled at her feet like a faithful pet. A pillow gently cradled her head, another was tucked between her arms and between her thighs, still pressed against her mound. There was a dried stain on it, and glued to it were a few short platinum curls.

Then came memory. The desire she had tried to tame had overwhelmed her. She had rutted with a fantasy of Anna, a fantasy fed by Ingrid's gift of souvenirs. So Ingrid knew something, possibly everything. Elsa could no longer pretend that she could ignore her craving for Anna. Elsa would have to wake up and face Anna, and Ingrid, and herself, plus God knows what other horrors the day may bring. It felt dismal.

She sat up, then stood, rearranging her nightdress and smoothing some of the wrinkles out of it. She picked up one of the pillows, _not_ the one she had marked, and with a feeling of self-disappointment brought it to her face and inhaled. She smelled her own dried sweat, and under that still traces of Anna. She hated how wonderful it felt, the surge of energy running through her core. It was madness. She tossed the pillow aside.

But not very hard.

* * *

Anna was still blinking the sleep from her eyes as she went in to breakfast. Elsa surprised her by taking her hands and saying, “Anna. Good morning. Always so good to see you.” Elsa's expression would've been hard to read even if Anna had been fully awake. It seemed to be a blend of fondness, wistfulness, nervousness, and…hunger?

She and Elsa sat at their places. “Nils, a good strong cup of tea, please.”

“Very good, Your Highness.”

“So, Anna, do you have any plans for the day?”

_Oh damn._ She still didn't know where they stood after yesterday. “I don't know. Was I supposed to?”

Elsa laughed lightly. “No, I just had some things in mind.”

_Thank God, she's taking some initiative again._

“What was that, Anna?”

_Oh, that was out loud._ “I'm…” _What the hell._ “Initiative. Good.” She drank her hot tea as fast as she could, forcing herself awake.

“Yes. This morning I was thinking of playing some hnefatafl with Ingrid. It's been a while. I miss…hnefatafl. I hope it goes well.”

_That's what she did when we were fighting. Is everything okay?_ “Did you want us to get together today?”

“Yes. I'd like to talk about…well, let's talk. After lunch?”

“Sure.” _That'll give me a couple of hours to psych myself up._ _Or psych myself out_ _._ “I'll see you in your study?”

“My rooms.” Elsa glanced up at her. “If you don't mind.”

“No, that's pretty much what I was thinking.” Anna worried that Elsa could see how self-conscious and anxious she was. She had no idea that Elsa was thinking the same thing about her.

* * *

Ingrid was smiling hopefully, if anxiously, as she entered Elsa's study. “Good morning, Your Majesty. I wasn't expecting this.” The smile faded when she saw Elsa pacing, and when she saw that the game board wasn't out. “I hope nothing's the matter.”

“I hope so too, Ingrid. Sit down.” She sat, but Elsa remained standing. That was against protocol. “I received your notes and…the other things.”

“I only wanted to make you happy. I was very discreet. I made sure no one noticed when I switched the…” She saw Elsa's agitation and tried not to make it worse. “…the items on their way to the laundry. Honestly, no one knows.”

“Yes. Your note said. But what do _you_ know, Ingrid?”

“Me?” Elsa raised an eyebrow at her. “Yes, of course, me.” Ingrid began to squirm in her chair as Elsa resumed pacing. She hadn't been this scared since the first time she came to Elsa's study. “What I know, what I know for certain, is that since you reconciled with Anna you turn your head away when you hug her. I'm sure no one else noticed. No one's mentioned it. They weren't paying attention.”

Elsa finally sat down, behind the desk. “My servants don't pay attention to their queen and mistress?”

“Not in the same way, no, ma'am.” She realized she'd used a title again. “Sorry.”

Elsa waved it away. “Never mind that. Call me ma'am if you want to. Go on.”

“They pay attention to what you want done, or whether you're pleased with our work, or what sort of mood you're in. Or whether you're going to be busy and won't be able to check up on us. Some of the girls, like Lissi, pay attention to what you're wearing, and to your hair.”

“And what do you pay attention to?”

“You, ma'am.”

“Tell me exactly what you know. Why you sent me the, um…”

Ingrid took a deep breath. “As I said, you face away from Anna when you hug her now. It's not because you don't love her anymore, because you do. It's not that you don't like her fragrance, because she hasn't changed her routines or toiletries. So it must be that you do like her fragrance, but you choose not to, um, detect it. So I thought you might like a chance to experience it in the privacy of your rooms. I wanted you to be happy.”

“And that's everything.”

Despite herself, Ingrid fidgeted. She crossed her legs, dropped her shoulders and looked at the floor, and twisted her handkerchief in her hands. Almost too quiet to be heard, she said, “That, and you're romantically attracted to your sister. I'm sorry, ma'am. No one suspects.” She curled smaller and braced herself.

“That's quite a thing to say.”

“Yes, ma'am. I know, ma'am. I would never repeat it, ma'am. Not ever. Not to anyone.”

“And you're certain you're right.”

“What I said before, it's the only way that would make sense, ma'am. You wouldn't have needed to turn away from her otherwise.”

Elsa could see from the tension in Ingrid's body that there was more. “Is that all?”

Still facing the floor, Ingrid shook her head.

“Go on.”

“I, um, I took your bedding to the laundry this morning, ma'am. I took it straight there and put it directly in the wash. Directly. No one else saw it. I made sure.”

_The pillowcase._ There was no use pretending. “Ingrid. Look at me.”

Still hunched over, she lifted her head to face Elsa. Her eyes were wide with terror.

“Do you have any plans for this information?”

“I just wanted you to be happy, ma'am. I apologize for over-reaching myself, for having thoughts above my station. I apologize for making you uncomfortable. I'm very sorry, ma'am.”

“Ingrid, I need to know. Do you have any thoughts of using this information to your own advantage?”

For a moment Ingrid's fear was pushed aside by outrage. “I would never do such a thing, ma'am! Never!” She stopped, halted by a realization. “But you couldn't know that, ma'am. Not for certain. It would never occur to me to do such a thing, so I never thought it would occur to anyone to think I could. But of course you could. How could you not? I've been an idiot. I was stupid. I'm so sorry.”

Elsa was taken aback. “Now Ingrid — ”

Ingrid sprang from her chair, almost knocking it over, and ran around the desk so she could kneel at Elsa's feet. Head bowed, on one knee, she spoke clearly and with strong belief. “I, Ingrid Hanna Andersen, do solemnly swear my allegiance to Her Righteous Majesty Queen Elsa of Arendelle, Ruler of Arendelle, its Territories, Assigns, and Satellites, and to her heirs and successors; to be loyal in all things, faithful in all things, obedient to her laws and dictates, and to have no earthly allegiance before this; to defend her person, her dignity, and her honour. This do I swear without evasion or mental reservation, so help me God.”

Elsa was astonished, even overwhelmed. “Ingrid, I have heard the Vow of Allegiance a hundred times by now, and I have never heard it said with that much conviction before.”

“Thank you, ma'am.” Ingrid remained kneeling.

Elsa realized that Ingrid was waiting for permission to stand. She almost said _Get up, for heaven's sake,_ but Ingrid was so serious Elsa couldn't bear to be flippant. “Arise, Ingrid Hanna Andersen.”

Ingrid stood obediently in front of Elsa, hands clasped behind her. “Yes, ma'am. Thank you, ma'am.”

“You memorized the Vow?”

“Yes ma'am.”

“Why?”

“I believe it, ma'am.”

Elsa sighed, and smiled crookedly. “Oh, Ingrid, what am I going to do with you?”

For some reason the question made Ingrid flinch. She paused, then said, “I assume that's a rhetorical question, ma'am?”

“Yes, of course.” Ingrid's reaction made Elsa curious. “What if it wasn't? What _do_ you think I should do with you?”

“Ma'am?”

“What would you do in my position? Hypothetically.”

Ingrid thought hard, choosing her words carefully. It reminded Elsa of the first time Ingrid came to her. Ingrid said, “That depends on how much you trust me, ma'am.”

That morning Elsa had been terrified that her shameful secret was out. As she looked at this girl and her obvious devotion Elsa still felt concern, but not panic. Not now. “Assume I trust you completely. What would I do then?”

“Let me live.”

“What?” Elsa sat up in her chair.

Ingrid bowed her head. “I made a mistake. I hadn't realized that I had made myself a threat. Unless Your Majesty does trust me completely, the right course of action would be to have me quietly executed. I apologize for putting you in this position. It must be very disturbing.”

Elsa's brows furrowed. “You see yourself facing execution, and you're worried about _my_ feelings?”

“Yes, ma'am.” Even though she was trembling, Ingrid kept her voice steady. “I know that you're kind, and it would hurt you terribly to give that order. But I've seen that you will do the right thing for Arendelle, no matter how painful. If I thought it would make a difference I would beg for my life, but you're a woman of conviction, so it wouldn't change anything. It would only make things harder for you. That wouldn't be fair. I apologize.”

Elsa felt the mild stinging of tears starting to form. She looked away, breathed deeply, settled herself. “Ingrid, your life is safe. Please relax. I do trust you, enough to believe my secret's safe. And even if it wasn't, you're not a threat to Arendelle, only to me. If worse comes to worst Anna would make an excellent queen, even if she doesn't believe it yet. Arendelle might even be better off.”

Ingrid said, “No, ma'am,” before she could stop herself.

Elsa's head jerked up. “You don't think Anna could be queen?”

“She would be an excellent queen, ma'am, as you said. But Arendelle wouldn't be better off without you. None of us would.”

“Do sit down, Ingrid.” Elsa sighed heavily. Without turning to face Ingrid she went on. “This isn't the first big secret I've had to keep, you know. Not the first one that threatened to hurt Anna, either. What no one tells you about secrets is how exhausting they are.”

They sat in silence for a while, Ingrid staring at the desktop, Elsa staring off into space. Finally Ingrid said, “You don't have to worry about your secret when it's just me, ma'am. You can relax. I already know it, and it's no concern of mine.”

“It doesn't disturb you at all?”

“I've been given to understand that it's a sin and a scandal, ma'am, but personally I don't see the harm.”

“I see.” Elsa went to the bookshelf where she kept the hnefatafl game. “We'd better play at least one round or people will wonder what we've been up to.”

“I'd like that, ma'am.”

“So would I.” Elsa set up the board. “And I think you can stop calling me ma'am now.” 

* * *

Elsa sat at the vanity in her dressing room, smoothing her unbound hair, fiddling with toiletry bottles and drumming her fingers on the countertop. She's imagined dozens of ways to start the conversation with Anna, but none of them felt right. Elsa needed her to know that she'd always be safe, but that Elsa's feelings for her were strong and real, and they needed some way to live with them. Elsa couldn't bear to live this way, but she couldn't bear to lose her sister again.

There was a brisk knock at the door. _It's her. Now or never._ Elsa opened the door. It was Anna. Her hair was down and her cheeks were flushed.

“Anna, there's someth— ”

Anna kissed her passionately on the mouth.


	11. Consummation

Anna's mouth was warm and wet as she pressed her lips to Elsa's. The feel of Anna's tongue in her mouth made Elsa dizzy. She grabbed the doorframe to steady herself. Even so, Elsa staggered as Anna pressed her body against Elsa's. Love and joy exploded like iceflowers in Elsa's heart. It was a dream come true, but dreams stop making sense after you wake up. _This is too good to be true._ Anna's mouth was sweet and sharp and slightly sticky. Her breath was fruity and faintly sour. Elsa recognized it and pulled back.

"Aren't you going to invite me in?" asked Anna teasingly.

_Oh dear God, we're half in the hallway._ Elsa yanked Anna inside and closed the door. She locked it, and for good measure filled the lock with ice. "Anna, I can taste cherry liqueur on you. Have you been drinking? Are you drunk?"

"I have been drinking, but I am _not_ drunk. I am relaxed."

"Anna, I — " Elsa's heart was torn. "I'm confused. What's going on? Really? Come, sit down." She led Anna to the divan.

Anna sat angled towards Elsa, her hand resting casually on Elsa's thigh. "There's something you don't know about that first time you kissed me. Something I couldn't have told you because I didn't know it myself. Couldn't admit it." She leaned in and whispered, "I liked it a little."

Elsa was stunned. "But, what you did, what you said…why did you do that? How could you do that to me?"

Anna broke eye contact, tilted her head down apologetically. "I'm sorry. You need to understand. I was relaxed. I wasn't asleep, but I wasn't really awake. So that night when you kissed me, I didn't know it was you. I mean I did, I knew you were there, and I knew I was being kissed, and I knew you were doing it, but my brain didn't put it all together. Not for a second, anyway. So before it registered what was happening, I was just feeling it. And it felt good. You were sweet, and we were cuddling, and it all felt wonderful. And the kiss just added to that. For a second."

"But that's not how you acted. You were furious. You were hurt. You hated me."

"You're right. I was hurt and angry. Angry at you. You shocked me, and I was afraid we couldn't be sisters like we used to be anymore. I'm sorry, Elsa, I really really am. I freaked out. But, a little bit, I was also that upset because I was scared. If it felt good, even for an instant, what did that make me? When I asked what was wrong with you, I didn't want to think about what might be wrong with me."

Elsa stroked Anna's hair. "You poor girl."

"You're being awfully nice to someone who was a rat-bastard to you. I'm sorry."

"Shh, it's okay, it's okay." She hugged Anna, then sat back to look at her. "But what's different now? I mean, you being here like this, this is everything my heart desires. But only if it's real."

"I was thinking about what you were feeling. Then I was thinking about what I was feeling, and I finally had the courage to really remember it. And if it felt good when I was relaxed, if I could get myself relaxed it could feel good again. With you. I do love you, Elsa. And if I could share this with you too, it could be wonderful. All I had to do was get past the freaking-out step, and Mister Cherry Liqueur agreed to help me with that."

"You're sure this is okay. You want to do this."

"Yep." Anna stood up and started swaying awkwardly back and forth while fumbling with her clothes.

"Anna, what are you doing?"

"Shh. This is my sexy dance. I am seducing you." She leaned her head back and gazed at Elsa through heavy-lidded eyes, while twisting her arms behind her back trying to reach her buttons, one elbow jutting up behind her head.

Elsa put her hands to her mouth, trying to muffle her giggles. "Oh, Anna, you seduced me a long time ago without even trying. And you didn't have to do a sexy dance to do it. Now come sit beside me." She took Anna's hands and guided her back to the divan. Elsa reached one arm across Anna's waist and cradled Anna's head with the other, idly stroking her hair as she held her close. "Anna, my sweet Anna. I love you. I love you with all my heart, and all my body, and all my soul. I've been trying to hold back my love, afraid of what you'd think, afraid of what I'd do. Now that I can say 'I love you' and mean it, and be free…I can't describe how wonderful I feel. The only thing that feels better than saying 'I love you'…is loving you."

She kissed Anna gently on the lips, on the cheek. She kissed and nuzzled Anna's ear, and stroked her face against Anna's hair. With reverence she delicately kissed Anna again and again. She leaned back to look at Anna. "Anna? Are you crying?"

She nodded.

"What is it?"

"You're so gentle to me. You're so tender."

Elsa's smile was kind. "Did you expect me to turn into a werewolf?"

Anna looked away, shrugged. "I kind of did, yeah. I mean not a real werewolf, of course, but I thought you were gonna be all 'rawr' and be all over me." She made hand-claw gestures.

Elsa stopped Anna's hands and took them in hers. "Don't you see, Anna? I'm the same Elsa I always was. I feel passion for you, yes, but I feel the same love for you I always have. You can feel that I do, right?"

"Yeah, I suppose. Yes. I do, yes."

"I love you and adore you like always. I love being with you like always. I just want to take it a little farther. After all, now that you've seen that you feel the same way for me, you're still the same person, right?"

Anna brightened a bit. "Yeah. I guess I am."

"There you go. Oh Anna, you are so sweet and adorable and kind and beautiful." Elsa wriggled in her seat, then threw herself into a passionate hug. "I love you so, so much," she murmured into Anna's ear. "I love you with all my heart."

Anna hugged her back. "I love you too. With all my heart."

Elsa stood up, pulled Anna to her feet. She kissed Anna on the lips, first fondly, then slipping her moist tongue between Anna's moist lips, probing their softness. Elsa moaned deep in her throat. She smiled wickedly. "Now, let's get back to what you were doing with your sexy dance."

Elsa undressed Anna slowly, circling her and brushing against her, fingers slipping under cloth and lightly touching skin as buttons were unbuttoned and fasteners unfastened. Elsa steadied her as she stepped out of the pile of clothes at her ankles and stood shyly.

Elsa sighed and faintly whimpered. "Anna, you are so lovely. Let me look at you." Having Anna's beauty open to her like that made Elsa light-headed. Anna's soft, rounded breasts, firm and womanly, were so inviting that Elsa couldn't help but give each nipple a quick kiss. With the backs of her fingers Elsa traced the smooth curve of Anna's belly to the bright fur covering her mound, and down along her thigh. Anna shivered with the sensation. Elsa circled her, brushing her cheek against Anna's back and lightly touching the curves of Anna's buttocks. Elsa came around to face her again, pressing Anna's naked body to her own, with one hand on her back and the other cupping her smooth bottom. She kissed Anna eagerly, and Anna responded.

"It's not really fair for me to be naked when you're not," said Anna.

"Oh, of course!" Elsa began to undress herself, but Anna took over.

Anna was more direct than Elsa had been, to the point that when Elsa leaned against her she said, "Elsa!"

In unison they said, "Oh, sorry," then Anna said "Jinx!" and they linked pinkies.

It occurred to both of them that they were grown women, one naked and one nearly naked, about to make love for the first time, and still playing childish rituals. They burst out laughing, and hugged.

"Oh Anna, I love you. Don't ever change."

"Oh Elsa, finish changing already." They giggled again, and Elsa finished stepping out of her clothes. Anna stared at her sister in awe. "Wow. You're so…naked." The faint bluish cast to Elsa's skin made her look even paler than she was, as luminous as the moon, and made her dark erect nipples all the more striking. The triangle of platinum curls at Elsa's cleft was soft and inviting. "You're beautiful, Elsa."

Elsa shrugged and smiled modestly, as if her body was a dress she just threw on. "Anna, _you're_ beautiful."

"You know that you're beautifuller."

"Anna, if you could only see yourself as I see you, you'd know that you're the beautifullest. The most beautifullest. I..I would have to make up even more words to describe how lovely, and sexy, and gorgeous, and beautiful you are." She held Anna's naked body to her own, feeling the softness of skin against skin, breast against breast. She slipped her knee between Anna's legs and pressed Anna's mound against her hip and her own against Anna's. Breathing more heavily and feeling her face flushed, Elsa smiled helplessly and begged, "Please, Anna, the divan. Before you make me swoon and fall to the floor."

Anna reclined on the divan and Elsa lay on top of her, propping herself up so she could gaze at her beloved. "What do you want me to do?" asked Anna.

"Anything. Everything. Nothing. Anything your heart desires. Follow your feelings." Elsa kissed Anna's lips, throat, shoulders. "Do to me anything you want to do. Ask me to do anything you want, and I will. Have you ever caressed another woman's breasts, or taken her nipple in your mouth? Have you ever touched another woman between her thighs, or been touched? Have you ever wondered how she would feel? Or taste? Or smell?" Elsa moved her head from side to side, trailing her white hair across Anna's bosom. "Have you ever dreamed of it? I have." Elsa waved a chill breeze across her and took one of Anna's now-stiffened nipples between her lips, her teeth, suckling and gently nibbling. "Or relax and let me worship you." She kissed the other nipple. "I thought this love was madness. I was right. It's beautiful, glorious madness." She slid down a little, rested her head on Anna's breasts. Anna stroked her hair. Tears began to run silently across Elsa's face. "I would do anything for you. Would you like the kingdom? It's yours. Not big enough? I'll conquer other nations, bundle them up in a ball, and give them to you. You said I was beautiful like the moon, once. But the moon only glows because the sun shines on it. You are my sun, my light, my love, my life. I love you, Anna. You are my everything." She inhaled deeply, her face in Anna's cleavage, drawing in the scent and the taste of her. It was glorious. She let it out in a luxurious sigh. "Anna, if I pass out, don't worry, it's only because I'm overwhelmed with joy. Don't revive me, let me rest between your breasts and be here when I come back to the world." Anna stroked Elsa's hair again. She shifted so that one of Anna's legs was between her thighs. She sank contentedly onto Anna, her thighs pressing together on her, being fed by Anna's warmth.

Through half-open eyes she saw the floor mirror across the room. She nudged it surreptitiously with tiny ice-blasts, turning it so that she could see herself and her lover. She saw her own pale skin against Anna's speckled glow, her own sleek limbs entwined with Anna's graceful curves. Her head cradled by Anna's bosom, her own face a portrait of contentment and joy.

And Anna's face. Jaw clenched, brow furrowed. An expression of resoluteness. The face of someone with an unpleasant job to do, but determined to do it and do it well.


	12. Dissolution

Elsa tried to blot out the image by frosting over the mirror but in her haste she shattered it. She leapt backwards off the divan, turned away from Anna and put her hands over her eyes.

“Anna, please get dressed now.”

“What is it? What's the matter?”

“Anna, please. Please, get dressed.”

“It's okay, Elsa. Just come back here.”

“I'm begging you, Anna! Please, I beg you, if you ever loved me or cared for me, please put your clothes on _now!”_

Too upset and impatient to dress conventionally, Elsa conjured clothes for herself. They were covered in inch-thick panels of clear ice, frosted over, looking more like a suit of armour than a suit of clothes. Despite the weight and stiffness, she moved easily in them.

Anna finished dressing and turned to face Elsa. “Wow, that's…different.”

“Anna, I saw your face.”

Confused, she put her hands to her face, feeling for the problem. “What is it?”

“Your expression. Just now. You had that grim, stubborn look you get when you decide to push your way through something, no matter how tough it gets.” Elsa's shoulders slumped as she sighed. “This…” she waved at everything “…is a lie.”

“No, no it isn't.”

“When I stopped just now, did you really want me to keep going?”

“…yes.”

Elsa stared steadily at her.

“Yes, yes I did. I wanted you to keep going.”

“Really.”

Anna stared defiantly back.

“Let me put it this way,” Elsa continued, in a frighteningly calm voice. “Anna, just now, in the moment when I stopped molesting you and humping your thigh— ”

“Don't say that!”

“ —did you feel disappointed or relieved? In that moment? Be honest.”

Anna tried to stay defiant, but broke under Elsa's gaze. “Relieved. But I really did want you to keep going.” Elsa raised an eyebrow. “Just…not the way you meant.”

In the still air of the room, snowflakes began to gently fall. Elsa sat at the very end of the divan. “It was all a lie.” She was too heartbroken to cry.

“Not really. Everything I said was true. As far as it went, anyway.” Anna sat on the other end of the divan and reached out to touch Elsa's arm.

Before she could make contact, the sleeve she was about to touch suddenly grew needle-sharp spikes of ice. “Sorry,” muttered Elsa, and waved them away.

“It really did feel nice for a moment when you kissed me, and it really, really did freak me out. And I really did hope that if I got relaxed — ”

“Drunk.”

“ — _relaxed_ enough, I could feel like that again. I just wasn't…counting on it.”

Elsa sat motionless, slumped forward, as silent as the snowflakes that continued to drift downward.

“You drank so you could stand the thought of me touching you,” said Elsa. Anna wished there had been more sting to Elsa's words, more anger, instead of the hollow sound of defeat.

“It wasn't like that. I tried, I really did. I got in a hot bath with a bottle of wine, and I thought about you and, you know, tried to make something happen. And I love you dearly, and you are beautiful, but I'm sorry. Nothing.”

“No. Of course not.”

“We could still try. Maybe more liqueur. Or wait — I was half-asleep, right? What if you came into my bed when I was asleep, and we snuggled, and you kind of snuck up on me? That could work.”

Elsa shook her head in disbelief. “You want me to take advantage of you when you're drunk or unconscious? Like a criminal deviant?”

“But it's different. It wouldn't be a bad thing. Not if I said it was okay, right?”

“ _Why,_ Anna? Why would you come here and do this to yourself?”

Anna sat up, took a deep breath. “Now you read the papers more than I do, so you must have already noticed that some weird stuff has been happening. Springs not flowing, wells and pumps drying up, random crop failures. And it's getting worse. We think it's because of you.”

“We?”

“Kristoff and me. It began about the time we got back together, you and me I mean, and you started acting all happy-happy with me, which honestly for the first while I absolutely loved, it was terrific, but then it started to get a little scary. Anyway. We figure when you shoved all your bad feelings underground your magic shoved itself underground because it didn't want you to get upset, and so you've kind of, by accident, not meaning to, been…freezing the groundwater.”

Elsa sighed heavily. “And killing crops.”

“Yeah. And if it got worse, it would, you know, get a lot worse.”

“It would be a disaster for Arendelle.”

“Arendelle can hang itself! I'm worried about _you!_ If Kristoff and me could — ”

“'Kristoff and I'.”

“ _Aaugh!_ _”_ Anna jumped up and paced in frustration, kicking through the thick carpet of light snow that had accumulated on the floor. “If Kristoff _and I_ could figure it out, it wouldn't be long until everyone else did, and then it's all torches and pitchforks and 'Kill the witch!' And I know you have amazing powers but eventually someone would get to you, and you could get…hurt.”

“You mean 'killed'.” Anna nodded. “Would that be so bad?” The slight smile on Elsa's lips drove a blade into Anna's heart.

“Yes, that would be bad! That would be horrible! The worst, awfullest thing ever! I love you, Elsa, I really really do. I couldn't bear to lose you. I would do anything in my power for you.”

“And for Arendelle.”

“Well, yeah, them too.”

“So. It's your duty to queen and country to submit to me.” She looked at Anna bitterly. “Don't you know what they call a woman whose job it is to have sex?”

Anna scowled. “Yes. 'Princess'.”

Fire came back to Elsa's eyes for a moment. “Anna! That's not funny!”

“Good, 'cause it's not a joke. Elsa, you know history better than I do. How many princesses got married off for politics? For the good of their country? To someone they maybe never met before? 'Please be our ally; have a princess.' 'Please don't conquer us; have a princess.' 'Sorry about the herring quotas; have a princess.'”

“I never would've — ”

“No, of course not. But it's just an accident of history that it didn't happen to me. Hell, I'm one of the lucky ones. I love you, and like you, and like to be with you, and you are beautiful. It's not like I'd be stuck with some big hairy smelly guy.”

“Like Kristoff?”

“Damn it, Elsa, you know what I mean!”

“Yes, I think I do.” Elsa stood. “Even when my magic has blackmailed you into giving your body to me, you can still look at the positive side. Your optimism is a precious gift, Anna. Never lose it.”

“It's not so bad, Elsa. Not if it helps you. I could…get used to it.”

“Get — Get _used_ to it?” The horror and desolation in Elsa's face and voice broke Anna's heart.

“Can't we work this out?”

“Anna, some problems cannot be solved with hard work and a can-do attitude. Not many, but some.”

“I'm sorry I yelled at you. I'm sorry for what I did. I'm sorry for everything. I'm so, so sorry. You must hate me.”

“Hate you? For being selfless and noble? Of course not.” She turned away. “I hate myself.”

“Elsa, no!” A breeze out of nowhere gathered the snow, whirling around Elsa.

“After all, what do you think I would do if someone else put you in this position?” Elsa headed for the door. “If someone else forced you to give yourself against your will?”

“It's not like — ”

“Do you think I'd stand for it?” The breeze grew stronger.

“What do you — ”

“ _Do you think I'd let them get away with it?_ ” The breeze became a wind.

“But — ”

“ _ **Do you think I'd let them live?”**_ The wind became a storm.

“Elsa, wait!” With her left hand shielding her face against the stinging snow, Anna grabbed Elsa's hand with her right, stopping them on opposite sides of the doorframe. “There's something else.”

Elsa turned to face her.

Anna smiled apologetically. “It was good to see you happy again. I'm sorry it wasn't real, and I'm sorry it turned out so badly, and I'm so so so sorry that I hurt you, more sorry than I could ever say. But even if it was for a minute, it was good to see you happy. I love you, and I want to see you happy again.”

“Oh, Anna.” The tension faded from Elsa's face, replaced by a genuine loving smile. “I wish I was worthy of your love.”

The doorway filled with a tangle of jagged icicles, clear as glass, sharp as thorns, Elsa on one side and Anna on the other. Elsa pulled away, and the icicles filled the hole where their hands had been.

* * *

Kristoff was polishing and cleaning Sven's tack. Not that it needed it, not as much as Kristoff needed some “reindeer time”.

“Thing is, Sven, I don't know why I bother. I mean, we've had fights before. Why should this time be any different?”

In “Sven's” voice he answered _Because this time you said you looove her._

“Not that she could hear.”

_You could tell her again._

“Sven, she dumped me, and she won't tell me why. She and Elsa have had some mysterious thing going on between them, and she won't tell me what it is. I'm okay with her needing her space.”

_No you're not._

“But she doesn't trust me. That hurts. I mean, I tell her everything.”

_Except that the secrets bother you, and that you looove her…_

“Shut up.”

_And that one time with Widow Siemenson…_

“Seriously shut up.”

_But you want to get back with her._

“Sven, I just don't know.”

_Yes you dooo._

“Assuming I wanted to do anything — assuming — what could I do?”

_You tell your secrets, she tells hers._

“What if she doesn't tell me hers?”

_Then you know just as much as before, and she knows you looove her._

He draped the tack over a wooden rail, squared his shoulders, and went to talk to Anna. Before he left the stable he turned to Sven. “Sometimes you are a very annoying reindeer.”

Sven watched him walk away and wondered if the big friendly man was going to bring him carrots.

* * *

Elsa met Kristoff marching along a hallway. He saw her outfit, halted, looked at it intensely. “Elsa.” He bowed.

“Kristoff.”

“Wow, that is some impressive ice armor. That's got to be pure grade 1 clear, no fractures, an inch thick. No one could touch you in that.”

“No one can touch me. Pretty much what I had in mind.” He didn't catch Elsa's bitter chuckle. “Where are you headed?”

“I'm looking for Anna. Do you know where she is?”

“You'll find her in my rooms. That's where I saw her last.” She looked up at him. “In any event I'm glad I found you. Could you bring her this note for me? Thank you.” She handed him a cream-coloured envelope.

“Sure. Thanks for the directions. And wish me luck.” He half-smiled humourlessly.

“Oh, and Kristoff?”

“Yes?”

“You really do care about her, don't you.”

He paused, blinked, really looked at her. He didn't see the condescension he'd always assumed was there. He saw respect. For once, instead of feeling like less than himself, he felt raised up to her level. He also saw deep seriousness in her expression, and a profound concern for Anna. “Yes. I care about Anna very much.”

“Good. Make sure nothing else hurts her.”

“I will. I promise.”

“Thank you, Kristoff.” She strode off, leaving him to track down the woman he loved.

* * *

“Here I am again,” said Elsa, standing on that same balcony where she and Anna had lain, and she had drawn iceflowers in the sky. Where a love too wrong to accept and too beautiful to deny had pushed her over the edge to catastrophe. She hadn't bothered to barricade the door, or even lock it. She wouldn't be here long.

Summer was over, and the days were getting shorter. The late afternoon light slanted across the balcony. Her beautiful kingdom spread out before her, the rich greens of the countryside touched with gold, the innocent blue of the sky, the city's motion and fragments of colour.

With a profound relief she let her ice armor fall away. She hardly noticed that she was nude. She lay down on the chaise longue and sighed, deeply and resignedly, but not unhappily. Now that she accepted what she had to do, it was all so simple. As clear as ice.

She held up her hand and watched it thoughtfully. The ends of her fingertips dissolved into snowflakes and blew away on the breeze. A regular breeze this time, not one of hers. A white trail of flakes streamed from her fingers and rose like the smoke from an extinguished candle. The trail of snow curled and curled across the sky as her fingers gradually diminished. It wasn't painful. It didn't feel of anything, just a soft gentle numbness. _This is what people feel when they die of exposure. It's not so bad._ Her other hand did the same, as did her toes. It was slow, but she wasn't in a hurry. She had nothing else to do.

She admired the snowcloud that accumulated above her — that she was becoming — in the afternoon light. She had barely lost her hands and feet, and already it was much larger than the human body she was leaving. She hadn't felt this peaceful since — well, since the time she was here with Anna.

The sparkling cloud swirled above her, in her own breeze this time. She felt a responsibility to make it pretty. After all, it was her iceflower. Her biggest, her best, her last.


	13. One With The Wind And Sky

Kristoff walked briskly to meet with Anna. His brief talk with Elsa made him feel like she was on his side, or at least wasn't against him, and he knew how important Elsa's opinion was to Anna. Elsa trusted him. She asked him to look out for Anna and make sure nothing hurts her. A tall order, but one he could dedicate himself to. If, of course, Anna would —

_Elsa didn't say, “Make sure nothing hurts her.” She said, “Make sure nothing **else** hurts her.” _

_Like maybe something's about to hurt her now._

His boots pounded the floors as he ran full-tilt to get to Anna.

* * *

There were four servants milling around the doorway to Elsa's rooms. When Kristoff got in sight of them he yelled, “Is Anna all right?”

“She's fine. She's just trapped,” said an older woman who was trying to melt her way through the tangle of ice-thorns with a kettle of boiling water. She had made a small dent and a huge puddle, but that was about it. Two men, one older and one Kristoff's age, were trying to come up with a plan. The older one held a crowbar as the younger one pressed a towel to his eyes. Kristoff asked, “How is he?”

“He'll be fine. He was trying to break through with this,” he held up the crowbar, “and some shards got in his eyes. Stings, but he can see okay.”

Kristoff scoffed to himself. Some people just didn't respect ice.

The fourth servant was a girl with curly brown hair, fluttering back and forth and just adding to the confusion.

Kristoff shouted, “Anna! Are you there? Are you all right?”

“Yes! I'm fine, but I'm worried about Elsa!”

To himself he said, “So am I.”

Kristoff grabbed the crowbar. “Right. You four,” he pointed to the servants, “stand over there.” He pointed down the hall. “And don't move.” He looked at the spiky barrier of ice filling the doorway. It was sharp, solid, and dense, but open enough that you couldn't crack it straight through. He nodded to himself.

He dug the shepherd's-crook end of the crowbar into the wall, between the wall and the doorframe. He levered hard and the wooden doorframe began to come away from the wall a little. He pulled out the crowbar, dug it in again, and heaved. The doorframe was a couple of inches out. He dug the crowbar deeply into the the doorframe, gripped it with both hands, braced one foot against the wall, and pulled hard. He strained. Nothing seemed to happen, then the doorframe — ice and all — slowly separated from the wall. He made a big enough gap to squeeze through and went in to get Anna.

“Oh, thank god you're here, Kristoff. Elsa took off, and she was really upset, and I don't know what she's going to do next.”

“She gave me this for you.” He pulled the crumpled envelope from his pocket and handed it to her. “I guess Olaf was busy.”

“How was she? Upset? Angry?”

“Calm and serious.”

“Uh oh.” Anna opened the letter and started to read.

> _To Her Righteous Majesty Queen Anna of Arendelle, Ruler of —_

Anna's face went pale, her eyes wide. “Oh my god, she's — I think she's going to — ” She frantically turned back and forth. Read the letter or run to Elsa? She wanted to run, but if she had learned anything lately it's that misunderstandings can have tragic consequences. She had to know all she could first. She sat on the divan and forced herself to read the letter.

> _To Her Righteous Majesty Queen Anna of Arendelle, Ruler of Arendelle, its Territories, Assigns, and Satellites:_
> 
> _You'll be fine._
> 
> _As a woman and as a queen, you'll be fine. I know it doesn't feel that way right now. I remember how I felt when I heard that Mama and Papa weren't coming back, and it must have been the same for you. I deeply regret putting you through that again. But you know that eventually the day will come when you will be okay._
> 
> _I don't think I can tell you anything about how to be a woman. I made a mess of it myself. But I can tell you some things about how to be a queen._
> 
> _First, be Queen Anna. Don't try to be a copy of me. You have a connection with your subjects that I never could have had, and that is a hundred times more precious than politics and statecraft. Follow your heart, do what you know is right, and you can't fail._
> 
> _Let your advisors advise you, but never let them tell you what to do. Your job is to tell them what you're going to do; their job is to make it happen. The final decision will always be yours. You are Queen._
> 
> _Practice saying “No”. The greatest danger I see ahead for you is that you will try to do everything for everyone. Make time and space for yourself, to have some fun and get some rest. An exhausted, unhappy Anna is no good to Arendelle or to Anna._
> 
> _I believe Olaf and Marshmallow will be there after I'm gone, but I'm not absolutely sure. If they are, take care of them. If they aren't, it's all right. Olaf understands that some people are worth melting for, and Marshmallow will finally have some peace. Please remember them. I recommend annual awards in their names: The Olaf Award for Kindness, and The Marshmallow Award for Loyalty. As my last official act, I nominate you for both._
> 
> _You know that storeroom full of fancy gifts from ambassadors and dignitaries? I hereby leave them all to Ingrid Andersen. She's a sensible girl; I'm sure she can find some practical use for them._
> 
> _Finally, we've been saying “I'm sorry” to each other a lot lately. That's something you say when you regret hurting someone you care about, and we can't go on doing that to each other. So one last apology and we're done. I'm sorry, Anna, for all the hurt I've caused you, and for the hurt I'm causing you now. I wouldn't do this if it wasn't necessary. But now the circle will close, the hurt will end, and as I said the day will come when you will be okay. Remember that I loved you and that I always will._
> 
> _Long Live The Queen._
> 
> _Your sister, Elsa._

Anna sat stunned. Her sister could shoot an ice-blast into her heart with just a letter now. She didn't know what to do but she had to do something. So she got angry. “Perkele!” Kristoff jumped back. “That selfish little girl!”

“She's older than — ”

“How dare she try to pull a stunt like this? I won't let her get away with it!” As long as she concentrated on stopping Elsa, she wouldn't have to admit it might be too late. As long as she stayed angry, she could put off feeling grief. “C'mon, Kristoff, let's go.”

“Go where?”

Anna halted in her tracks. “Where?” She talked it through, pacing back and forth. “Where would she go to…do this thing? Someplace private. She wouldn't want to disturb anyone by making a scene. Not her rooms, obviously. I'm here. Not my rooms. She wouldn't want to leave bad memories where I have to live and sleep. Not a bathroom. Too tacky.” She stopped, closed her eyes, listened to her own thoughts. Then she scanned the letter again. “She said 'the circle will close'. So, maybe, ending things where they began. _T_ _he balcony!_ ”

“What balcony? Where?” said Kristoff, but Anna had already taken off like a red-headed comet. He ran after her, leaving the stunned servants to clean up the debris of the doorframe.

* * *

Elsa drifted across the late afternoon sky, gently guiding the breezes that carried her, feeling her identity gradually fade as her snowflakes dispersed. _Not having a body is fascinating_ , she thought. She could look back on her life without the distractions of the hungers, fears, and passions that bodies had. The first thing she realized is that those distractions were the things that made life worth living. They were the fire that made her care.

Freed of the physical craving she had for Anna, she could see it for what it was. And even though it had brought so much pain, it had still been a wonderful thing. Like a tiger, it was fierce and dangerous but strikingly beautiful. She saw how it had grown out of her love for Anna and out of her own needs to love and be loved, and was regretful but content.

She saw how her life had been driven by her fears. Her fears of hurting others, of failing others, of rejection, of loss, of the vulnerability that comes with love. She saw how she had been like that mouse. It was her defensiveness, the attempts to protect herself, that had hurt her in the end. _At least that's over with now._

Without senses, she could still somehow sense. She couldn't read an individual mind any more than she could follow an individual flake in her cloud, but she could feel the thoughts of Arendelle. She felt the love they had for Anna, but was surprised at the love they had for her. They loved her the way they loved the snow-capped North Mountain, or the sparkling fjord, or the moon. Remote and beautiful, something that filled them with pride and gratitude, that they belonged to and that belonged to them. She could tell that some of them suspected a link between her and the recent disasters, yet no one thought of rising up against her as Anna had feared. And as _she_ had feared, to be honest. Those who had made the connection were primarily worried on her behalf, hoping that she would be okay. She would've cried if she'd had eyes to cry with. _More rulers should have this perspective,_ she thought _. If only they could come back from it._

She felt — understood — through the whole of her new being how she, her people, her land, and her nation all belonged to each other, all were aspects of each other. She felt awe, and responsibility, until she remembered that it was no longer her role. _It's Anna's task now. I know she will grow into a magnificent queen. Arendelle is blessed. I wish her well._ Elsa drifted peacefully across the sky.

* * *

Anna and Kristoff burst onto the balcony. There was no sign of Elsa. Kristoff said, “She's not here. Where next?”

“Hang on.” Anna wandered slowly across the balcony with her hands lightly in front of her, as if she were feeling for cobwebs in the dark. “She was here. I know it. I don't know how, but I know. That must sound crazy.”

“Not to me.” Kristoff frowned, deep in thought.

“No, wait. She _is_ here. Somehow.”

“Anna. Do me a favour. See that sparkly cloud overhead?”

Anna looked up. “Yeah.”

“What do you feel when you look at it?”

“Wow.” She looked to Kristoff for confirmation, then up at the cloud again. “It's her, isn't it.”

“Right.” Kristoff fumbled with a cord around his neck. He pulled it out from under his shirt, revealing three glowing crystals hanging from it: red, blue, and green. He snapped the blue one free from the cord, muttered some words in troll language, and held it over his head.

“What the heck's that, Kristoff?”

“Yeah, I know, you usually only get one colour of crystal, but since I'm not a proper troll Grand Pabbie figured I could use all the help I can get.”

“No, I mean what _is_ that? What are you doing?”

“It's a sky crystal, what else? Now get all the sky crystals you can and bring them here. I can hold her for a little more than six minutes at this point.”

“Where would I get sky crystals?”

“You don't have any?”

“Why would I?”

“Gee, Anna, I don't know. Maybe in case of something exactly like this?”

“How would I know about…this?” She waved at the whole scene.

“Don't you take any interest in your sister at all?”

“But I — How would I — Forget it, we can fight about this seven minutes from now. Meanwhile, what's going on and what can I do?”

“Okay. That snowcloud is Elsa. She's still herself for now, but she's drifting apart, and when that happens she's gone. With the crystal I can hold her for a little while, even give her a path to come back. But I can't bring her back. She has to decide to do that.”

“Can she hear me?”

“Well, it's actually kind of complicated. It depends on what you mean by — ”

“Short version.”

“Yes.”

Anna looked up and shouted at the cloud. “Elsa! Please, don't do this! Please come back! I'll do anything you want, anything at all, if you just come back! Anything you ask! Anything! Whatever you want!”

“Three minutes.”

“WHAT? You said six!”

“ _If_ she doesn't fight it. What you just did there?”

“Yeah?”

“Do something else.”

“Fine.” Anna took a moment, then called to the cloud again. “Elsa, please. I can't bear it if you go. Please don't hurt me like this. I know I screwed up, and I'm sorry, but don't take it out on me and yourself. I'm so sorry. Please come back.”

Anna glanced at Kristoff. He gave her a noncommittal look; didn't work, didn't make it worse.

Her jaw clenched. “Elsa? I won't let you do this. I love you too much to let you go. If you go, I go.” She climbed on the railing of the balcony. “I mean it! I'll ju— ”

Kristoff grabbed the back of her collar with his free hand, hoisted her in the air, and planted her back on the balcony. “No. Not for her, not for anybody.”

“But — ”

“You won't let her, I won't let you.”

“But — ”

“ _No.”_

For a moment, Anna saw behind the irritation to how afraid he was to lose her, and how he would do anything to protect her, even from herself. She didn't argue.

“Elsa, I need you. I need you to be my big sister and look out for me. I need you to keep me in line, even if I argue about it. I need someone to pester. I need you to roll your eyes at my jokes, then giggle when you think I'm not looking. I love you, Elsa. I need you.”

She paused, looking to Kristoff. He shook his head a little. Then he spoke up. “Elsa! Kristoff here. You told me to look out for Anna, and make sure nothing else hurts her. Well, you're hurting her. So, by the authority vested in me by the Queen of Arendelle, I order you to return to Anna.” He glanced at the crystal, and his shoulders slumped. The glow had dimmed to almost nothing.

Anna glanced at Kristoff. She was going to have to say some things, and she just had to hope he'd be okay with them. “Elsa! Remember what you said you'd do if someone else did to my body what you did, made me do the things I did? Would you stand for it? Would you let them get away with it? Would you let them live? Fine.”

She pointed accusingly at the sky. “But tell me this. What would you do if someone did to my _heart_ what you're doing right now? If someone I love broke my heart and left me? Would you stand for that? Would you let anyone get away with that? Would you let them run away? Well, would you?” She pointed at the ground in front of her. “Or would you drag them back here, any way you could, and make things right? Even if it was hard. Even if it was painful. Even if it took forever. No matter what.”

Anna blinked away her tears, took a deep breath. “I know you would never let anyone else do this to me. Or if they did, you'd be there for me. Caring for me, comforting me, loving me. How can I cry on your shoulder if your shoulder is gone?” She sobbed, and said, “Now get back here right this minute, damn it! Please.”

A vortex whipped around the balcony, ruffling Anna's skirts and hair. Snowflakes funnelled in from across the sky and accumulated in two pillars, turning into flesh, building up Elsa feet first. The pillars joined and formed her hips, then her torso. She was much faster coming back, driven by the urgency of Anna's need and her own determination. It was not very long at all before Elsa was standing in front of Anna, her eyes full of love and regret. “Anna, can you — _oomf!”_ As Anna hugged her so hard it squeezed the air out of her, Elsa struggled to finish. “ — ever…forgive…me?”

“Of course. You know it won't be easy.”

“No. It'll be hard, and painful, and might take forever. But that's okay, if it's with you. Are you up for it?”

“Why do you think I hauled you back here?” Anna smirked teasingly, but lovingly.

Elsa took Anna by the shoulders so she could look at her properly. “How can we do this? I know I want to, and I know you do, but how can we rebuild after everything that's happened? All the hurt? Everything we've done?”

“Simple.” Anna grinned at her. “Hard work and a can-do attitude.”

They both laughed, exhausted and relieved, but happy.

“Excuse me.” Kristoff had taken off his jacket and was holding it at arm's length towards Elsa, with his other hand covering his eyes. “Your Majesty is kind of naked there.”

She slipped into his jacket. “Thank you, Kristoff. That's very sweet.”

Anna said, “You can thank him for a lot more than that. I'll tell you all about it.”

“Long story?”

“It doesn't matter. We have a lifetime ahead of us.”


	14. Recovery

It was a couple of months later, and Christmas was fast approaching. Elsa was waiting in the Solarium for Anna to come to breakfast. The slanting winter light sliced through the clear air and made everything in the room dazzle. Nils and Helga stood patiently, waiting to serve. As Elsa heard the doorknob, she chose her spot carefully.

Anna entered, yawned, and rubbed some of the bleariness from her eyes. “G'morning, Elsa.”

Elsa held her arms out for a hug. “Oh, Anna. Come here.”

Anna came happily up to her sister, then slammed to a halt a yard away from Elsa. Anna pointedly looked up at the mistletoe overhead, took an exaggerated step to the right, and smirked at Elsa. “I'm sleepy, but I'm not _that_ sleepy.”

Elsa grinned like a naughty schoolgirl and they shared a long, loving hug. Anna whispered softly into Elsa's ear, “Did you just sniff my hair?”

Elsa's lips softly brushed Anna's ear as she replied, “Maybe a little.”

Anna pulled away and shook a mock-scolding finger at Elsa. “Now let's eat. If the æbelskiver's cold, I'm blaming you.”

Elsa sat down and laid her napkin across her lap with great dignity. “I see. Just because I'm Supreme Mistress Of Ice And Snow, anything cold is my fault.” Then Her Righteous Majesty Queen Elsa, Ruler of Arendelle, its Territories, Assigns, and Satellites, stuck her tongue out. They both giggled.

Anna tore open her æbelskiver, then pointed her jam-laden knife at the three jars to Elsa's right. “I see Ingrid's mother has some more work for you.” Ever since Elsa's tip gave Ingrid's family a head start on the processed fish business, Mrs. Andersen did Elsa the favour of developing a pickled herring recipe to her specific taste. The result, Andersen's Royal Table, had become a premium brand. It was even being exported to Allemand.

Unfortunately, even though Elsa was completely satisfied with it, Mrs. Andersen insisted on sending her new formulas to taste. Which is why, next to Elsa's plate, were one jar of Royal Table, and two jars with plain white labels marked “#29” and “#31”.

Anna, using a jar of herring and a serving fork as her orb and sceptre, declared, “Presenting Her Majesty Queen Elsa: Defender of the Faith, Protector of the Realm, Taster of the Pickled Herring.”

Elsa opened the white label jars, and placed a piece from each on slices of rye bread. “Show some respect, Anna, or I'll suggest that you help them go into the marzipan business.”

“I'd love it.”

“Wait 'til you get to number 31.” Elsa tasted the sample and wrote some notes on the jar's label. “I wonder what happened to number 30.”

Anna, in a spooky voice, said, “It came alive, attacked its creator, and now it prowls the countryside howling at the mooon.” Elsa shook her head at Anna's foolishness, but that didn't stop her from smiling. “Speaking of the Andersens, how's Ingrid doing?”

One of the first things Anna insisted on after the Snowcloud Incident was that Elsa schedule regular hnefatafl sessions with Ingrid. “You need some time to be yourself, but not be alone,” she had said. And she had been right. No matter how intense things got between the sisters, Elsa could always count on having a little quiet time with Ingrid. It helped her cope. And she had grown to enjoy it for its own sake.

“Since you mention it,” Elsa said, “there's a favour I'd like to… ” She turned to the servants. “Nils? Helga? Anna and I need a minute.” She trusted them, but she didn't trust human nature, and she knew how gossip could spread.

Once they were gone, she turned back to Anna. “I need a favour from you. I… ” Anna was surprised to see her queen looking so awkward. “Thing is, Anna, it's not a big deal, but I really think she needs a different hairstyle. The way she pulls her hair up in a little knot? It's practical, but it doesn't suit her. It looks like she has a drawer-pull on her head. But if I tell her, she'll take it as a royal edict, and I don't want to put pressure on her. Also I'd probably say something stupid like 'You look like you have a drawer-pull on your head,' and hurt her feelings. You're good at that sort of thing. Could you talk to her?”

“I'd love to.” Anna was pleased. It was nice to know that Elsa could be the one being gawky and afraid of blurting out the wrong thing, for a change. Besides, giving Ingrid a makeover could be fun. “I'll see her after lunch. We still have the joint meeting with your Councillors this morning, right?”

“In about fifteen minutes, so you'd better get a move on.” Elsa rang for Nils and Helga to come back. “And they're _our_ Councillors, now that we're working together.”

* * *

Nils and Helga cleared the table after the royal sisters had finished and left. They talked as they worked. “Helga?”

“Yes?”

“You know that song, ['The Queen's True Love'](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2755112)?”

She set down the tray she had been loading. “What about it?”

“Do you think there's anything to it?”

She scowled a warning at him. “I'm sure I don't know what you mean. And I don't know how you could even think such a thing.”

He grinned at her. “Ah, but if you don't know what I mean, how could you know what I was thinking?”

She turned away from his teasing and went back to her tasks. “Well, it's all foolishness. I mean, you saw the girls this morning. It's all joking and playing around. Who could take such a thing seriously?”

He loaded the pålæg onto a wheeled trolley. “Well, they are very affectionate with each other.”

“Of course they are, poor girls. They haven't any other family than themselves. If you ask me, more girls could stand to get along the way they do.” She folded the tablecloth and loaded it on the lower level of the trolley. “Besides, tell me this. Even if Anna did feel that way, can you ever imagine Elsa reciprocating?”

Nils tried to picture their elegant queen engaging in such behaviour, and couldn't help but laugh. “Right you are, Helga. Right you are.” He pecked her on the cheek and they headed for the kitchens.

* * *

As Anna had predicted, it had been hard. It had been painful. And there were times it felt like it would take forever.

The evening after the Snowcloud — after Elsa's suicide — the two of them went to Anna's rooms and talked for hours. The first thing they agreed on was that they were going to do whatever it took to make things right between them again.

Elsa had said, “Anna, we can't shut each other out ever again. We can't hide, or run away. We need to talk to each other every day, no matter how hurt or angry we may feel.”

Anna replied, “That's sweet, but that's not going to work. I know you. Sometimes you need to be alone. If you starve yourself of that, you'll go cr— You…won't do okay.”

Elsa paced back and forth as she thought. “Right. New rule. Never go more than 24 hours without talking to each other. If I need to be alone at 3 o'clock today, I talk to you no later than 3 o'clock tomorrow. Maybe it's just one sentence to say 'I need another 24 hours,' but you know I'll be there. You can count on me. Forever. I'm never going away again.”

“What if you have to go on a trip? Am I coming with you every time you go on a diplomatic visit?”

“Letters. At least one a day.”

“But what if — ”

“We'll figure it out.”

“Okay, then I have a rule. No stupid questions. That is, I mean there's no such thing as a stupid question. What if I had asked, 'Elsa, did you really send Olaf to poop snow at me?' That would've solved a lot of problems. Or if you had said, 'Anna, did you make sure I knew you were having breakfast in the Studio so you'd have it to yourself?' We have to start by knowing we'd never mean to hurt each other. And if I think you did, or you think I did, we need to ask stupid questions until we know what's going on for sure.”

And from then on, those were the rules they lived by. Even when it was hard. Even when it was painful.

Even the time when Elsa had said, “Anna, you're a puppy. Cute and adorable and full of love, but you jump in without thinking and make a mess and piddle everywhere.”

Even the time when Anna had said, “The coronation? They should've crowned you 'Her Self-pitying Majesty, Drama-Queen Elsa of Arendelle, its Territories, Thingies, and Whatsits.”

And with hard work and time, things got better. It finally sunk in to Elsa that no matter how angry or hurt Anna might be, no matter what Elsa did, Anna would always love her and accept her, and that gave Elsa the freedom she needed to be vulnerable and to be herself.

It finally sunk in to Anna that whatever passions may drive Elsa, however strong or strange, Elsa's strongest passion was loving and caring for her sister, and Anna knew that she'd always be safe around Elsa.

Together they re-learned how to be comfortable with each other. Elsa could flirt and cuddle with Anna and be sure that Anna would still accept her. Anna could take Elsa's adoration, could feel flattered and complimented, and never worry about her going too far. And much more important, they learned that even if things did go too far they could forgive and recover without everything crashing down.

And when Elsa knew — really knew — that Anna would always accept her, that she would never have to be afraid of driving Anna away again, she never lost control of her magics.

In the end, Anna's other prediction was also right. What it really took to heal them was commitment and optimism. In other words, hard work and a can-do attitude.

* * *

The morning after Kristoff helped Elsa come back, he was alone in the Royal Stables with Sven. He wasn't even pretending to work on anything. He was just hugging Sven's neck with one arm and “talking” with him.

“Sven, you are not going to believe this.”

_If it's humans being strange, I believe it already._

“Not like this. You know that secret of Anna's? She finally told me. I mean, she kind of had to. I heard some of it when…oh hell, it's all too complicated.”

_Reindeers aren't complicated._

“You can say that again. Anyway, the secret is, Elsa…she feels about Anna…she wants to do…oh god…”

_She wants to have mating season?_

“Yeah.” Kristoff let go of Sven and leaned against the stable wall. “It's mating season for Elsa. And I totally understand why Anna would be afraid to tell me. To tell anybody. But it still hurts that she didn't trust me. I mean, what did she think I'd do?”

_Freak out. Run away. Get angry._

“Well, I didn't. Okay, a little. Can you blame me? Perkele, it's weird stuff.”

_Can you blame her for freaking out, too?_

“I guess not. She was the one it was happening to. Anyway, why couldn't she tell me sooner? I got stuck in the middle of a lot of stuff between them, and I don't know what's going on, and things just kept getting worse. I was right to begin with, you know. Reindeer are better than people. I should get the hell away from this craziness.”

_Is that freaking out or running away?_

“Screw you, Sven. You know what really bugs me? I could've helped. I could've helped Anna. She was going through all this, and I know it was eating her up inside. She didn't have anyone to talk to about it. And I was right there, and I wanted to help, and she couldn't let me.” He thumped the wooden railing with his fist. “What a stupid waste.”

A voice from behind him said, “That's a lousy way to keep a secret.”

“Anna?”

“You tell Sven, he tells the horses, next thing you know everyone's talking about it.” She was smirking at him, but she wasn't playful.

“I swear, Anna, I made sure no one was around. I just had to talk to someone about it. So, how much did you hear?”

She leaned over the gate, looking at him and Sven. “Enough. Enough to get an idea of how hard this has been on you. I'm sorry. Maybe I wasn't fair to you. God knows I had a lot on my mind. But I'm sorry.”

“I just…I don't know…” He threw his hands in the air in frustration.

“I also heard how much you wanted to be there for me. How much you care.”

_He loooves you._

“Damn it, Sven! I was about to tell her.” He turned back to her. “I've been trying to tell you for days, but, you know… Anyway. I love you, Anna.”

“Sven, tell him I love him, too.”

_She loves —_

“I heard her the first time, Sven.”

Anna opened the gate. “I told you what I was going through. Now it's time for you to tell me what you were going through.” She nodded to Sven. “And I don't think we're going to need your interpreter.”

He tried to sound gruff. “Well, let's go then.”

“Just a second.” She fed a carrot to Sven. “Plenty more where this came from, as long as you keep your muzzle shut.” She winked at Sven and took Kristoff's arm. “Now let's go.”

* * *

But that was behind them. Now it was a few days to Christmas, and as Elsa had asked, Anna had agreed to talk to Ingrid.


	15. An Intimate Little Get-Together

There was a quiet knock at the door. Anna opened it and saw Ingrid standing obediently. “Ingrid, come on in.”

Ingrid curtseyed. “Good afternoon, Your Highness.”

“Please,” Anna scoffed. “No 'Highnesses' today. We're just Anna and Ingrid.”

 _Like her sister,_ thought Ingrid. “As you wish.”

“Sit, sit, get comfy. We're just a couple of girls hanging out, getting to know each other.” They sat on the low couch across from the vanity.

“Of course. How can I help you?”

 _Wow, she's more serious than Elsa even._ Anna bit her lip in frustration. “Ingrid. Sweetie.” She took Ingrid's hands in hers. “What you said just now? That wasn't exactly 'two girls hanging out'. That was more 'servant waiting for instructions.' You see, Elsa and I were talking, and we thought it might be fun if I gave you a bit of a makeover.”

Ingrid looked away thoughtfully for a moment. “Did she use the word 'fun'?”

“Well, not exactly,” said Anna, smiling awkwardly.

“Oh. Then what is it about my appearance she wants you to change?”

Anna winced. _This is not the way it was supposed to go._

Ingrid continued. “I apologize. Sometimes I'm too blunt, especially when I'm nervous. But it's all right. I don't mind. I'm flattered.”

“Um, good?”

“Yes. I imagine that Elsa asked you to do this because, whatever it is, it'd be easier coming from you. That's very thoughtful of her.” Ingrid smiled encouragingly. “But I don't want to spoil your fun. Shall we start the makeover?”

“Sure.” Anna led her to the vanity. “Actually I thought it could be fun for both of us. I mean, didn't you ever do each other's makeup with your sisters or your girlfriends?”

Ingrid sat down in front of the mirror. “Not exactly. I have two older sisters, Astrid and Sonja. They're a lot older than me.” Anna started letting down Ingrid's hair. “When I was little they used to put makeup on me. But by the time I was old enough to want to learn about cosmetics, they were too old to play with their little sister.” She paused. “Oh. I'm sorry if that's a sensitive subject.”

“No, not at all. What about your girlfriends?”

“I didn't get out much. I was busy at home, taking care of…things. So, it's my hairstyle, then.”

Anna did a double-take. “What?”

“That Elsa doesn't like. If it was makeup you'd have left my hair up so it wouldn't get in the way. That's why I wear it like that, after all.”

Anna sighed and gave up. “Yeah. In fact, her exact words were, 'It's practical, but it doesn't suit her.' I mean, 'you'. So let's find something that suits you.” She brushed out Ingrid's hair. “You know, you actually have a very pretty face, and great skin, if a little pale. Some colour, a little style, and you could have any boy you wanted.”

Ingrid's face went blank. “Oh, that won't be necessary.”

“Why?” Anna smiled naughtily. “You already have one?”

“No. It's just…I don't see it being an issue.”

Anna put her hands on Ingrid's shoulders and lowered her head to look at Ingrid in the mirror. “What is it, hon? You don't think you're pretty enough? Because you are. Or you think you're too shy? I can help you with that. Besides, lots of guys like quiet girls.”

“No. I simply don't see any possibilities right now.”

“Nobody up to your standards, then?” Anna teased.

“Oh, no! I didn't mean that.” Ingrid flushed a little.

“Ah.” Anna nodded. “There's someone you like, but you don't think you have a chance.”

Ingrid was not used to talking this much. “I mean, it's not like it really matters. I like thinking about it, but I'm realistic. The person I…like…is in love with someone else. Deeply.”

“Married?”

“No.”

“Engaged? Going steady? Dating?”

“No.”

Anna patted Ingrid's shoulder. “Then you still have a shot.”

“I'm sorry. I don't mean to argue. But it's not a possibility.” Ingrid waited for the conversation to be over.

“So who is he?” prodded Anna.

“Who?”

“The guy.”

“What guy?”

“The guy you were just talking…” _Oh lord,_ thought Anna. “It's not a guy, is it. It's a girl.”

Ingrid's blush answered for her.

“And she's in love with a guy, so you don't think she'd be interested in a girl.”

Ingrid looked at her lap. “…no, it's not that.”

 _Another one?_ _Wow_ _. Is everyone here sapphic but me?_ “Then what makes you think it's not possible? Anyway, I bet you're wrong, I bet you've got more of a chance than you think.” She gave Ingrid a side-hug to cheer her up, and then started braiding Ingrid's hair.

“She's so sophisticated and refined, she's on a completely different level. I'm sure she could never see me that way. And the person she loves? There's no way I could compete.”

“It's not Lissi, is it? Because as much as she's obsessed with fashion and fancy stuff, she's not really that sophisticated.”

“No, it's not her.”

 _That's a relief._ _She could do better._ “And the person she likes. Are you sure you're not just as pretty as she is?”

Anna saw Ingrid glance at her in the mirror, then at herself. “I'm quite sure. And it's not 'like' that she feels, it's love.”

“Hmm.” Anna wound Ingrid's braid milkmaid-style. It was a much thinner braid than when Anna did it for herself, but it worked on Ingrid. “How's that? That looks better, and it keeps your hair up and out of the way, just like you want.”

“Thank you. You're right, it's very nice.”

In the back of Anna's mind, pieces fell into place. _The glance in the mirror at me. Sophisticated and refined. Deeply in love, but not even dating._ She put her hands to her mouth, then gripped Ingrid by the shoulders. “Oh! Oh my god. It's Elsa, isn't it. You like Elsa.”

Ingrid blushed furiously, her eyes wide. She was too much in shock to deny anything. Finally she said, “I'd rather not say.”

Anna's brow furrowed in a determined expression, overlaid with a wicked grin. She started dashing back and forth, loading cosmetics onto the vanity. “Ingrid,” she said, with a light in her eyes, “we've got some work to do.”

* * *

>   
> _Elsa:_
> 
> _Keep your evening open. I'd like to have you and a couple of friends to my rooms after dinner tonight for tea and snacks. Very casual. Can you make it?_
> 
> _Anna._

* * *

>   
> _Anna:_
> 
> “ _A couple of friends”. Only people I know, right? I'd like to relax tonight._
> 
> _I have a working dinner, but I'm free after that._
> 
> _Elsa._

* * *

>   
> _Elsa:_
> 
> _Don't worry. Just an intimate little get-together with friends. See you there._
> 
> _Anna._

* * *

Elsa and Kristoff stood awkwardly in Anna's outer room, looking at each other. Anna had excused herself and ducked into her dressing room. When Elsa pictured “intimate” she was still expecting more than three people, one of whom wasn't even in the room. “So. Kristoff. Ice business good?”

“Well, it's winter, so deliveries are slow. Mostly cutting ice and stocking up the ice houses. Had a great batch of grade 1 clear the other day. Clean, no fractures or occlusions. Pond up on the North Mountain.” He scuffed his foot nervously. “It, uh, wasn't any of yours, was it?”

“No. Too busy running the kingdom.”

“So how's that going?”

“Good. Having Anna working alongside me helps. She has a real feel for issues. I'm looking forward to leaving her in charge for my next diplomatic trip.”

“Yeah. She's a good kid. Woman. Person. Princess. You know what I mean.”

“Yes, I do. She is.” She picked up a petit-four glacé and nibbled at it. He took one and popped it in his mouth.

Kristoff chewed, swallowed, cleared his throat. “So.” He braced himself. “Elsa. How are you doing?”

She looked sideways at him. “Quite well, thank you.”

“Good. Now how are you _really_ doing?” He rubbed the back of his neck, then clasped his hands behind his back. “You know. Since…” He looked up meaningfully. _Snowcloud._

“Ah.” Elsa nodded. “Well. I am…I'm doing all right. It was hard for the first couple of weeks. Between me and Anna. There were a lot of things we hadn't said, things we needed to say. Painful things. Starting well before…anything. When we were young. She was hurt that I shut myself away. I was hurt that she didn't try harder to get to me. And then, later, well, I did break her trust. And she did lash out at me. But what we learned is that it doesn't mean it's over. We can go through these things and come out the other side.”

“There was something in that letter you wrote. To Anna. Your sui— Your note.”

“You read it?” Elsa thought she'd be angry, but she wasn't.

“Anna insisted. She needed someone to talk to, and I needed to know what was going on. Anyway, there was a thing you were really wrong about.” Kristoff winced. _Bad way to say it, Kristoff._

Elsa raised an eyebrow, then shrugged it away. “I suppose I can't be surprised at that.”

“You said that people say 'sorry' when they've hurt someone they care about. But that's not what it's about. People say 'sorry' when someone they care about is hurt and they want to make it better. It's not a sign of hurting, it's a sign of caring.” He looked away. “At least, that's how I figure it.”

“I think you're right. Thank you.”

He faced her again. “And how about, you know, your…thing? With Anna? Are you doing okay?”

“My _thing_.” Elsa smiled sadly. “When the crops were dying and the wells were dry, Anna thought it was because I was…” She took a long pause. “…frustrated. So she did what she thought was right. But it wasn't frustration, it was fear. It's always fear. I was afraid that she couldn't love me anymore. That I couldn't trust myself. That there was something so wrong with me that she could never accept me again. That I could never be happy. And after all the fights and frustration, it finally got pounded into my thick skull that she could be okay with who I am and what I feel. She couldn't share it, but she could accept it.”

“So you're okay? You are happy?”

“Happy?” She chuckled, shook her head gently. “I have moments of happiness. Overall, I'd say I'm…content. Somebody once said that I could have anything my heart desires. They were wrong. But it's okay. Desiring is what hearts are for. What would be the point of having a heart if I ran out of things to desire?” She sighed. “That's something I learned when I was…” She looked up, as he had before. “…up there. Fears, desires, longings, dreams. That's what life is about. That's what life is _for_. To feel. Everything. When I escaped from feeling, I'd escaped from life.” She patted his arm and grinned at him. “Until you and Anna dragged me back by the scruff of the neck. Thank you.”

He shrugged. “Just doing my job.”

“I'm sorry. I've just been going on and on, I don't know why. I haven't talked about this with anyone but her.”

“Your problem is you don't have a reindeer. I guess I'm the next best thing.” He didn't have anything to add, so he shrugged again.

Elsa broke the awkward silence. “Do you know what she's up to? Why she's taking so long?”

“Not a clue. She looked fine to me. But then, she always looks fine to me.”

“I know what you mean.” Out of the corner of her eye Elsa saw Anna come in from her dressing room with a woman in a burgundy dress. “What?” _She said “just friends”. Who is this woman?_

Then Elsa saw that it was Ingrid.

Anna curtseyed, grinning proudly. “Your Majesty, may I present Miss Ingrid Hanna Andersen. Ingrid, Her Majesty Queen Elsa.” Anna stepped to the side and made a _ta-da_ gesture at Ingrid.

Ingrid curtseyed. “Good evening, Your Majesty.” She smiled hopefully.

Elsa smiled back. “Good evening, Ingrid.” She turned to Anna. “I thought you said this was a casual evening.”

“Of course it is. The formal introduction was just to show her off. Don't you think Ingrid looks great?” She nudged Elsa.

Ingrid was wearing a simple dress in the neo-classical style. Not the latest fashion, but it suited her perfectly. Her creamy shoulders and décolletage were bare, except for two thin straps. Ribbons traced under her breasts and criss-crossed between them, accenting them as much as her chambermaid's uniform had concealed them. From there the dress draped smoothly downward, giving hints of her slender figure as she moved. Her hair was parted and pulled back into a simple ponytail, brought forward across her bare shoulder like a glossy black brushstroke. It would've looked severe on anyone else, but framing Ingrid's guileless face it only looked sleek and elegant. Anna's delicate hand with makeup made Ingrid's dark eyes vivid, and added colour to her face with bold red lipstick to match her dress and some of Elsa's own eyeshadow. Ingrid had been revealed at her best, transformed from skinny and pale to slender and porcelain.

“She does. Absolutely. You did an amazing job, Anna, it's quite a transformation. You should be very proud.”

Anna took a long, expectant pause, then said to Ingrid, “You'll have to excuse me while I steal my sister away for a minute. You know, Kristoff was through Lillefjord recently. Maybe he has some news from home.”

She hauled Elsa out of earshot of Ingrid and hissed, “What is wrong with you? What do you think you're doing?”

“What? You did excellent work on her, Anna. Much more than I was expecting.”

“I hardly had to do any work at all, but that's not the point. Don't talk to _me_ , talk to _her_. Don't tell her _I_ did a good job. Tell her _she_ looks beautiful. And for god's sake don't flirt with me in front of her.”

“Why not?” asked Elsa. “She knows about our…history, and she's fine with it.” Anna glared at her. “Wait a minute. Anna, are you — Am I a fixer-upper?”

“Face it, Elsa. You like each other. You get along with each other. You're both obsessed with doing the right thing. You both talk like you've swallowed a textbook. And when her face isn't pointed at the floor she's very pretty. Take a look at her, a real look, and tell me what you see.”

“She looks…” Elsa looked sideways at Ingrid, who was lost in conversation with Kristoff. In her mind Ingrid had always been as Elsa remembered her from the day she came to Elsa's door, trembling and clammy with fear. Now she saw a young woman who had kept her modesty and kindness, but added poise and grace. Ingrid had grown into the beauty that had always been there, waiting to be discovered. Soft surprise in her voice, Elsa said, “She's lovely. She really is.”

“And she's a sweetie. Now give her a chance.”

“But it's impossible. I do like her, but she's a commoner and a servant. I'm her mistress and her queen. It's simply not done.”

Anna raised an eyebrow. “Some people would say the same thing about kissing your sister.”

“Ouch.” Elsa winced.

“Oh god, I'm sorry.” Anna stroked Elsa's arm. “I didn't mean it like that.”

“Anyway, I value her companionship. It's important to me. I wouldn't want to risk upsetting that.”

“Elsa, if we've learned anything, it's that if you really want to, you can come back from that. And that's _if_ she takes it badly, which isn't going to happen.”

She sighed. “But that's the problem.” Elsa took a half-step back and shook her head. “She's a loyal subject and a faithful servant. She's completely devoted to me, which is frankly a little overwhelming sometimes. And even if none of that were true, she's still a very meek girl. She would do anything I say. If I did, you know, try something, which I'm not even saying I would ever do, I couldn't bear the thought that she was responding out of fear, or duty. I couldn't stand it.”

“You're afraid that she might just pretend to like you? Good news. She does like you. A lot. A whole lot. Like, the same kind of feelings you have for me.”

Elsa exhaled, her shoulders slumped. “And that's the final thing. I love you, Anna. I always will. Passionately, completely. I understand you'll never share those feelings, but I do have them and I'll never lose them. How could I even think of the possibility of being with someone else? How could it be fair to her? How could I do that to anyone?”

Anna put her hand on Elsa's shoulder and gazed at her with sympathy. “Oh, Elsa. You don't have to punish yourself like this for something that hasn't even happened yet. I'm not saying the two of you should have a Boston Marriage. I'm not even saying you should have a relationship. I just think it'd be nice for you to flirt with someone and have a chance at her flirting back. Have some fun. Have a nice time. Remember all those months ago, when you said I was the only one who could ever love you, and the only one you could ever love? I guarantee that at least the first half of that is dead wrong.”

Anna started to guide Elsa back to Ingrid, but Elsa resisted. “Anna, I can't. I just can't.”

“What is it?” Anna looked thoughtfully at Elsa, and then realization dawned on her face. “Elsa, are you nervous? Are you being shy?”

Elsa looked away, and barely nodded. “I haven't…you know…tried to…get close to anyone but you. Ever.”

“Elsa, honey, you have nothing to be worried about. She likes you. You're just going to be talking. And I'll be right there for you. Most of all, I believe in you.” She sighed. “But if you don't feel ready, I understand. That's okay. I won't push you into anything.”

Elsa smiled timidly. “You mean that?”

Anna took Elsa's right hand as she smiled gently at her sister. “Elsa, sweetie.” She grinned. “Of course not!”


	16. Duet For Mouse And Cat

Anna dragged Elsa over to Ingrid, said “Excuse me” to Kristoff, took Ingrid's left hand, and dragged them both away. Kristoff, who knew better than to interfere with Anna's schemes, helped himself to a slice of kringle.

Elsa and Ingrid stood facing each other, Anna holding each of them by the hand. “Now, Ingrid, I apologize for stealing Elsa away before she could finish telling you how good you look tonight. Elsa? Go ahead.”

“I, um, it's true. You look very lovely tonight, Ingrid. Very beautiful. In fact, I suspect you've always been lovely and I apologize for not having noticed before. I guess I've been distracted. Sorry.”

“W-what?” stammered Ingrid. “No. No need to apologize. To me? No. It's okay if you don't notice me. I'm not the sort of person who wants to be noticed.” Anna gripped Ingrid's hand firmly.

Elsa looked Ingrid up and down. “If you keep dressing like this, I'm afraid you'll have to learn how to accept compliments.”

“Oh, no. I'm sorry. Yes, of course. Thank you.”

“It wasn't a criticism, Ingrid. I meant it as more of another compliment.”

“Oh. Thank you. Of course. You're very kind. And you look beautiful tonight, too. Oh, and when I say 'too', I don't mean the same as me. There's no comparison. You're very, very, um, you know. Beautiful. You always are.” Ingrid's eyes were bright with excitement and panic.

“Excellent,” said Anna. “You think Elsa's beautiful, _you_ think Ingrid's beautiful, and I agree with both of you. Now I have to go see to Kristoff. You two are old friends, you can keep each other company.” Before they could react, Anna put Ingrid's hand in Elsa's and walked over to Kristoff, leaving the two of them holding hands.

Elsa and Ingrid were too startled to react, then too shocked to know what to do. Elsa looked at Ingrid's hand in hers, then at her face, then their hands again. Ingrid stood still and breathed shallowly, waiting to see how Elsa would react, afraid to do anything that might spoil the moment.

Elsa's hand was cool and smooth in Ingrid's. Ingrid's hand was soft and warm in hers.

Elsa smiled graciously and awkwardly. “Well.”

“Yes.” Ingrid felt like her dress was suddenly too tight to let her breathe.

By this point it was too late to simply react, and neither one wanted to reject the other by being first to pull her hand away. Elsa finally said, “We don't have to go along with this just because it was Anna's plan, if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“That's true.” Ingrid bowed her head, then looked up at Elsa shyly. “But we don't have to _not_ go along with it, either. If it's all right with you.”

Meanwhile Anna had hidden behind Kristoff, and was peeking around him at the couple. “You've got to see this. But don't look! They're so cute.” She looked up at him, then back at them. “They're like two newborn foals just learning to stand up, all wobbly and awkward. It's adorable.”

Kristoff quietly asked, “What the hell were you doing?”

“Ingrid has a huge crush on Elsa, and Elsa likes Ingrid a lot more than she knows, but they're both too shy to make the first move. So I put their hands together, and now they're holding hands, and they're too shy to let go. Wait'll your love experts hear about that. Hey, what're you doing?”

Kristoff had taken out his order pad and a pencil, and was jotting rapidly in troll runes. “So an external force — that is, you — has put them together in a shared social context which has inverted the local social gradient. And the bashfulness that pushed them apart is now pushing them together. That's really clever." He smiled proudly at her. "I can't wait to show this to Grand Pabbie.”

“Don't you dare,” she hissed angrily.

“But you said you wanted the love experts to hear about it.”

“I didn't think you'd actually do it. What is all that scribbling, anyway?”

“It's troll notation for…well, I guess you'd call it 'love algebra'. You can't be raised by love experts without picking up some fundamental theory. Let me know when the dominant partner temporarily increases intimacy to clear the rejection threshold.”

“Who the what now?”

“Tell me when Elsa pats Ingrid's hand, then lets go of it.”

“What makes you think that — oh.” Anna saw Elsa pat Ingrid's hand. “She just did. No, wait, she didn't!” Still holding hands, Elsa led Ingrid to the loveseat, where they sat down. “Patting, yes. Letting go, no.”

“Huh.” Kristoff crossed out and corrected some symbols. “Now I _really_ have to show this to Pabbie.”

“Come on.” She led him over to the loveseat where the queen and the chambermaid were leaning towards each other and talking. “Hey, Elsa and Ingrid? I'm really sorry, but Kristoff just reminded me of this thing we have to do.”

“Yes! Um, it's Sven. I forgot to brush him after we got in today. And you know how reindeer get if you don't brush them out after a long ride.” Elsa's face was deliberately neutral. Ingrid gave him a blank look. “Okay, maybe you don't. And, to be honest, just as well. Anyway, we — Anna and I — just have to go do that thing. Now.” He looked to Anna.

“Yes. That.” _Thanks for the mental image of a_ _stinky_ _reindeer, Kristoff. Very romantic._ “You two will be okay by yourselves, right? Ingrid, if you get bored maybe Elsa can take you up to the balcony and show you some iceflowers.”

Ingrid smiled up at her. “That sounds lovely, but I'm not dressed for the weather.”

“That's true. Oh, I know!” Anna acted surprised. “There's a big bearskin blanket in the closet there. Just the one, so you'll have to share. I hope that's all right.”

“Anna, _dear_ ,” said Elsa, “don't we have some heavy cloaks as well?”

“Nope. All in the laundry. Coats, too. Just the big two-person blanket. Meanwhile, here's some snacks. Don't get up.” Anna put a tray of sweets on a low table near the loveseat. “Gotta go. Can't keep Sven waiting. Have a good time. Bye.” Kristoff waved over his shoulder as Anna dragged him out of the room.

After the door closed, Ingrid said, “Your sister is very sweet.”

“That she is,” said Elsa.

“And very…full of energy.”

“That, too.”

“I can see that she wants you to be happy.”

Elsa considered the evening's events. “Yes, I suppose that's a good way to put it.”

“However, she's… Begging your pardon, but she's not gifted at being insincere, is she.”

Elsa chuckled, sighed. “If you mean she's as obvious as a hammer to the toe, yes, that's true. She clearly thinks we should be together.” Ingrid nodded carefully. Elsa met her eyes. “What do you think?”

Ingrid blushed and looked at the carpet. “It's not my place to say.”

Elsa put her other hand on Ingrid's. “Yes, Ingrid, it is.”

 _Sit like a cat. The cat sits up because she's not afraid. Act brave, look brave, feel brave._ _For her._ She straightened up, looked into Elsa's eyes. Her chest rose and fell with each slow, deep breath. “I can't say if we should be together, because I can't speak for you. For myself, I would like it very much. I would like it… I would like it more than anything in the world.” She blinked, swallowed. “If such a thing were possible.”

Elsa's lips smiled, but her eyes didn't. “You don't believe it's possible, then.”

“Only because I can see that you don't.”

“You're a kind, sweet girl, Ingrid. I'm very fond of you. I'm very grateful that you're my friend.” Ingrid gasped quietly. “What is it?”

“You've never actually said that I'm your friend before.” Ingrid's eyes shone with pride.

Elsa was moved, and honoured, more than she'd expected. “You are. And I hope I can say that I'm your friend as well.” Ingrid nodded once, vigorously. “As I've seen tonight, a little late, you're also a very pretty, very attractive woman. And your loyalty and devotion touch me deeply.”

Elsa leaned back against the loveseat and stared out at nothing. “But that devotion is the problem. I couldn't stand to be with someone who was with me because she had to be, because she had no choice. It happened before. It almost destroyed me. I couldn't stand it.”

It was Ingrid's turn to put her other hand on Elsa's. “You know that I would do whatever you command. And that worries you.”

Elsa's voice was hollow as she said, “Yes.”

“And it's true. I would. Gladly. But the problem is its own solution.”

Elsa lifted her head and looked at Ingrid. “How so?”

“Command me to be honest in word and deed. Command me to never be with you unless I'm sincere, and acting freely, and want to be there. Command me to never betray you by acting out of obligation when I should be acting from the heart. The more you trust my devotion, the more you can be sure I would never let my devotion hurt you.”

“You are an amazing young woman, Ingrid. I don't know what I did to deserve such loyalty.”

A shadow fell across Ingrid's face. “I don't much believe that people get what they deserve, anymore. I mean I hope for it, but I don't expect it. I believe in gratitude, and in being as fair as you can.” She shook it off. “But if you want to know why you have my loyalty, it's because I can see that you're kind and just and wise. I can't think of a person more worthy of my loyalty, or of anyone's.”

“Ingrid, please. I'm not perfect.”

“If you were, why would you need me?”

“No, I'm _really_ not perfect. Here I am, talking about being with you when I love Anna. I still love Anna, more than anything. I always will.”

“I know.”

“If — _if_ — the smallest thing should ever happen between us it could never be serious, or permanent, or public.”

“I know.”

“I would never want to use you, or toy with you, or lead you on.”

“I know.”

Elsa slumped back against the loveseat again, sighing heavily. “Damn it, Ingrid, how can you be so understanding? Doesn't the idea bother you? Doesn't it feel unfair?”

“No. To me, 'unfair' would be lying, or coercion. Manipulation. Force. Everything you hate. One of the reasons that I lo— that I admire you so much is how dedicated you are to being fair. You're more than fair. You're good.”

“That's very kind, but— “ Elsa looked at her with an amused smirk. “Did you just make a play on words?”

“A little one,” said Ingrid, smiling guiltily. “I hope you don't mind.”

Ingrid felt a thrill as Elsa smiled at her indulgently, the same way Elsa smiled at Anna. “It's all right. But let's be serious. While I treasure our friendship, we could never have a relationship as equals. Is that fair to you?”

“Equals? Fair?” Shocked, Ingrid fought to find the right words. “I — I — I couldn't conceive of anyone being your equal, let alone me. And fair? You're holding hands with a chambermaid and farm girl. I'm holding hands with a queen and demigoddess. If that's unfair, it's only unfair to you.”

“Don't be so hard on yourself, Ingrid.”

“I'm not. I know who I am, and I'm satisfied with who I am. But I'm also realistic.” She paused for thought, and her hand went limp in Elsa's. “At least I thought I was, up until tonight. You've already done so much more for me than I had any reason to expect. I don't think I've even thanked you properly. And now I want more? It's a grandiose dream, a fantasy. It's madness.”

Elsa thought of her own passion for Anna, and saw it echoed in Ingrid. She squeezed Ingrid's hand encouragingly. “It's all right. Sometimes a little madness can be good, if it lets us see and feel more vividly.”

“I've been so stupid. I apologize. I've been so very, very stupid.”

“Shush. No you haven't.” She saw tears run down Ingrid's face, and took a napkin off the tray to dry them. Ingrid turned her face away from the linen, but Elsa said, “Now Ingrid…” and she sat obediently.

As Elsa dabbed Ingrid's face dry, Ingrid said, “I don't mean to argue, but it's true. I've been stupid. Oblivious. We talk about what's right, and fair, and possible, but it's all talking and thinking. They're just obstacles. They don't matter. None of it matters. The only thing that matters is, would you ever want to be with me? Could you like me that way? Even a little? You never said. And I can't speak for you, but I suspect I know what that means. I'm sorry.”

Elsa set down the napkin and put her free hand on Ingrid's. “Honestly, I don't know what I feel. As you said, I was so caught up in thinking that I forgot about what I was feeling. I know that I'm very fond of you, and I'm always happy to be with you. I know that you're very pretty. But it never occurred to me to think about you that way. I don't know. I could. I think I could. I think I'd like to. I don't know.”

Under the tears and mascara on the napkin, Ingrid saw that someone — Anna? — had written on the fabric.

_Look up_

She did, and saw a sprig of greenery with white berries tacked to the ceiling beam overhead.

Elsa followed her gaze, lifting her face upward, and recognized the twig. “Ah. Mistletoe.”

As she looked down again, Ingrid kissed her on the lips. Really kissed her, briefly but firmly, her lips as soft and warm on Elsa's lips as her hand was in Elsa's hand.

They both sat back in surprise, Ingrid just as shocked by her own behaviour as Elsa was. “I — I'm sorry, ma'am. I have no idea — ”

Ingrid felt Elsa pull her hands away. She sat paralysed.

“Ingrid?”

She nodded.

“Don't call me 'ma'am'.” With both hands free, she pulled Ingrid close and kissed her.


	17. Epilogue And Prologue

Four months had passed.

 

“… _oh anna i love you i love you anna i love you_ …” Elsa's voice was less than a whisper. She mouthed the words, and if her breathing hadn't already been heavy and rapid she wouldn't have made a sound at all.

The sensations from the warm kisses and tender caresses she gave and received had funnelled down between her thighs. Now the tide had reversed and she felt the stimulation that began there spread out through her body, a rising wave of delicious tension. It reached her throat, the tightness turning her gasps into moans and whimpers.

“Ah. Ahn. Ahnnn.” Her eyes gently closed, her mouth slightly open, Elsa was helpless to do anything except respond to the visions behind her eyelids and the fire rising up from her cleft. She saw a jumble of images, of Anna's red hair unbound and cascading down her shoulders, Anna's soft lips parting in a fond smile, Anna's eyes shining with love for her sister, Anna's creamy skin dusted with freckles as if she had been sprinkled with cinnamon. Anna's toned legs, her tender hands, the curve of her breasts. Anna.

Elsa's fists gripped the bedsheets. Her body was at war, the urge for release versus the hunger to sustain this exquisite agony as long as possible. She slapped the mattress once and gripped the sheets again. Her head rocked restlessly from side to side.

Elsa felt a soft warm hand slide up her belly and cup her breast. A fingernail raked gently and deftly across her nipple in a way that never failed to affect her, sending electric tingles down her core, along the insides of her thighs and down to her flexing, curling toes. Her body was a violin string, taut and vibrating. Her moans came clearer. She approached her peak.

“Oh Anna oh God yes Anna yes oh God I love you Anna oh God _yes!_ ” The wild energy in her body was unleashed. She arched, her hips levitating off the bed. She slapped the mattress again, and once more. She cupped both hands over her cleft, protecting herself from any more pleasure than she could bear. Her body fell back to the bed with a thud. She lay gasping for a little while, luxuriating in the ecstasy of release, savouring it for the brief period before her spirit thudded down as hard as her body had.

 

She raised her head from the pillow and looked down. “Oh. I said her name again, didn't I. I'm sorry.”

“It's all right,” said Ingrid, looking up at Elsa from between her thighs and smiling compassionately.

“I didn't mean to, Ingrid.”

“It's all right. I understand.”

“I couldn't help myself.”

“I know. It's all right.”

Elsa's head flopped back onto the pillow. She looked up at the ceiling. “I'm sorry.”

Ingrid sat up and wiped her face with a damp washcloth. “Please don't apologize. It really is all right. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“You were…there…down there…and I was saying her name. I'm sorry.”

“I'm fine. I'm happy. I _like_ it when you say her name.”

Elsa raised up on her elbows to look at Ingrid, her brow furrowed. “Ingrid, how…why…how can you like it?”

Ingrid's compassionate smile turned bashfully naughty. “I like what it does to you.”

Elsa's own expression faded from bafflement to bemused contentment. She lay back, and Ingrid scootched up to lie next to her queen, resting her head in the hollow of Elsa's shoulder.

Elsa thought about the strange path that brought this slip of a girl into her bed. _Nine months ago she was a terrified junior housemaid. Now she's here._ When Elsa's incestuous passion for her sister drove them apart, when Elsa was alone and heartbroken, the one person who came to comfort her was Ingrid. Trembling, sweating, and carrying a board game because she heard that her queen was “sad and lonely”. When Elsa wasn't up to talking but couldn't bear to be alone, Ingrid sat quietly and played hnefatafl with her. When Elsa and Anna reconnected, fighting to rebuild their sisterhood around a passion that couldn't be returned or denied, Ingrid was always there to be Elsa's calm refuge.

Then four months ago, a little before Christmas, Anna pushed them together under the mistletoe. Elsa finally saw the devoted young woman who had quietly adored her.

They kissed.

 _And now she's my… What is she, anyway?_ More than a friend. Less than a lover. Still a faithful servant. _Girlfriend?_ _Protégé?_ _Mistress? Concubine?_ Elsa pictured Ingrid in a belly-dancer's costume, harem pants hanging off her slender hips, pale serious face peeking over a veil. She smiled to herself. _No, not concubine._

It would've been so much simpler if she could've loved Ingrid the way she loved Anna. And kinder to Ingrid. She liked Ingrid. She was deeply fond of her. She cared about her. But Elsa's love and passion all belonged to her radiant, vibrant, adorable, sometimes infuriating sister. It was a doomed and unnatural love, but it was beautiful and it was hers. _Everyone wants someone to adore them, and someone to adore. I wish they could be the same person._ She gave Ingrid a quick squeeze. _Like she said, I can't be sad for what I've lost. I have to be grateful for what I've had._

“Ingrid, I don't understand how you have the strength not to be jealous.”

Ingrid sighed happily. “Strength? Me? Oh no. I'm too lazy and selfish to be jealous.”

“Really?” Elsa was feeling a bit better. “Tell me more.”

“I'm too lazy to try to nag you into loving me. Especially since it could never work. And I'm too selfish to make myself miserable and spoil my happiness with you. I'd rather be content.”

“And you're sure you don't feel even a bit of jealousy?”

“If it makes you uncomfortable I _could_ badger you about spending time with Anna, and act sulky if you mention her name, and slide little digs about her into the conversation until you have to lie about what you're feeling and sneak around to spend time with her. But I don't think I could make you unhappy enough to like me better.”

Elsa chuckled softly. “You have a sly sense of humour, Mouse.”

“Thank you.”

“I just wish you were having a better time.” She smiled mirthlessly. “I feel like a poor hostess.”

“What do you mean?”

Elsa grew solemn. “It's the first time we've gone as far as this, and I, um, reached my peak and you didn't. It doesn't seem fair to you. I appreciate what you do — 'appreciate' doesn't _begin_ to describe it, I was literally ecstatic — but I wish you were… _enjoying_ yourself, too.”

The smile faded from Ingrid's face. “Oh. I see.”

“What is it?”

“I did enjoy myself. Three times. I didn't think I was doing enough for _you_.”

“What? Just now?” She felt Ingrid nod against her shoulder. “What — “

“I didn't want to interrupt.”

“Interrupt!? You've been holding out on me. Did you think I wouldn't enjoy your pleasure?” She sighed, then caressed Ingrid's hair and kissed her forehead. “Silly Mouse. I worry sometimes that you take devotion too far.” She felt Ingrid about to apologize, and cut her off. “Shush. And how could I have missed it? Missed them, I guess. How could you be that restrained?”

“I grew up sharing a small bedroom with two older sisters. I can be very quiet. I could show you if you'd like.”

“That would be…interesting. I'd like to see that sometime.” Elsa stared at the rosemaling painted on the ceiling. She had been raised to be queen. She was taught to rule as she was taught to read and write. The idea that her people would be devoted to her, obedient, was second nature to her. But having that obedient devotion curled up naked at her side was very different. Why was devotion so easy to accept on her throne, but so awkward in her bed?

Lost in thought, it took Elsa a while to notice that Ingrid had already started her demonstration. Ingrid's hand was demurely tucked between her thighs. Only a slight flexing in Ingrid's arm, pressed against Elsa's side, hinted that her hand was moving. Elsa watched in quiet surprise. Ingrid barely moved. To an observer, she would've seemed peacefully asleep. Elsa held her own breath and listened to Ingrid's breathing; faster and deeper, but still smooth and nearly silent. She wanted to hold Ingrid closer but was afraid of disturbing her delicate performance. After a minute or so Ingrid opened her eyes and smiled up at Elsa, her gaze half-drugged with pleasure. Elsa smiled fondly back, and nodded. Ingrid closed her eyes again. Elsa felt Ingrid's motionless body tense in her arms and heard her breath stop. It didn't catch, it simply paused. For long seconds, everything was still.

Then the tension melted away and Ingrid released her breath in a long, deep, silent exhale. She looked adoringly at Elsa again, and mouthed, “Thank you.”

They lay together in silence for a long while, Ingrid curled under Elsa's arm, Elsa staring at the ceiling.

“Ingrid?”

“Yes?”

“You don't have to go.”

Ingrid sighed. “There's nothing I want more, but if my bed's not slept in, people will talk.”

“Oh dear.” Elsa gave Ingrid a comforting hug. “I'm sorry, that's not what I meant. That is, I do wish you could stay the night, but I meant that you don't have to go to the Southern Isles for me.”

“I leave tomorrow. Everything's arranged.”

“It doesn't have to be. I can undo the arrangements. You can stay here. You don't have to put yourself at risk.”

Ingrid raised herself up on one elbow to look at Elsa. “Yes, I do. I swore to defend your person. And I will. Unless you've changed your mind about attending Prince Harald's wedding.”

“No, I can't. I have to go. Diplomacy.”

“You are my queen. If you command me to stay, I will. But unless one of your agents has finally infiltrated King Frederik's castle, it's my duty.” Ingrid's eyes pleaded with Elsa.”Please, let me do this for you.”

Elsa pulled Ingrid to her side. “I'll see you in a month, in the Southern Isles.”

“You'll see a silent little housemaid who no one will notice, inconspicuously dusting every secret in the castle.” Ingrid smiled proudly. “I'll be quiet as a mouse.”

Elsa frowned at her. “You have to take this seriously.”

“I do. Of course I do. I'm just happy and excited to serve you like this. I'll be fine. After all, did any of your councillors suspect that I was the one you had spy on _them?_ ”

Elsa lay back and chuckled. “You should've seen their faces. I swear, Anna was on the verge of laughing the entire time. When I told them I was going to have a security review they were probably expecting a lecture and a scolding. They weren't expecting me to drop sensitive information — that _you_ retrieved — in front of them and tell them what they were doing wrong. The Councillor of State turned white, the Councillor of the Exchequer was about to faint, even the Councillor for Defense of the Realm looked embarrassed.”

“Well, he shouldn't have kept his strongbox keys next to the strongbox then. And none of them imagined it was me, did they.”

“Not a one. They all assumed I'd hired some freelance secret agent to test their security. When they pressed for details, Anna made up some story about Finn Rejdersen, international secret agent.” Elsa smiled crookedly.

“Finn Rejder—? That sounds like...”

“Yes, the Prince Consort of Corona's old alias. I think Anna was deliberately trying to make me laugh. She nearly did, the brat.” Elsa grinned. “You should've been there.”

“I was.”

“What? When?”

“You were facing the Councillor for Schools and Orphanages, asking if he had something he'd like to share with the rest of the cabinet. I stepped in and refilled the water pitcher. Was that wrong?”

Elsa bit her lip thoughtfully. “Well, you were right in front of them and they still didn't suspect you. I suppose that shows you're more competent than any of my 'real' spies.”

“Please have faith in me. I'll be fine.”

Ingrid put out the lamp, snuggled closer to Elsa, and they lay in comfortable silence in the dark. Elsa hadn't felt this relaxed for too long. She listened to Ingrid's breathing and smiled contentedly to herself.

She was starting to drift off when Ingrid screwed up her courage and said, “Elsa?”

“Yes?”

“When…” _I'm gone, will you miss me? Will you think of me? No, I can't think like that. She has important things to do._

“When what?”

“When you go to the Southern Isles, I'm sure Anna will do an excellent job as Princess Regent.”

Elsa's voice was blurry with sleepiness. “Mm-hm, Anna. She'll be good.”

They lapsed into silence again.

Once Elsa had fallen asleep, Ingrid slipped out of bed. She tucked in her queen, then by touch and memory she dressed, gathered her things, and prepared to go. As she reached the door she turned to face the bed. “Good night, Your Majesty,” she said softly, and curtseyed. “I love you.”

She left, and padded in the darkness to her bed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that concludes volume I of the story. It continues in volume II, "Anywhere Her Heart May Lead", in which Elsa has to cope with Elsanna in her heart and Elsingrid in her bed. Once again, consummated Elsanna is neither guaranteed nor ruled out. Complications will continue to ensue, and there will be more adventure and less angst.  
> Oh, there will be angst. Just less. For a while.
> 
> Now, I know this is not the way things are normally done, but the chapter you have just read is the last chapter of "Anything Her Heart Desires" *and* the first chapter of "Anywhere Her Heart May Lead". So if you continue, and I hope you do, you don't have to reread it. Just jump in at Chapter 2.


End file.
